To think people at work shouldn't ask 'what happened to your hand?'

Small talk and showing concern are both just part of life.

You'll never (thankfully) stop people from doing it, so the onus is on you to deal with it.

Honestly, some people won't be happy until we're all acting like robots.

I have a scar on my back from a burst cyst. It took a long time to heal and then had to be surgically reopened again to remove the cyst bag(?). The scar is circular shaped. If I'm ever asked I say I was shot as a teen. I have an excellent stoney face when required...

It's interesting isn't it. My daughter was unwell when she was born and for the first few months of her life and had a feeding tube. I was SO surprised how many people asked me why she had it. I'd never ask someone a question like that about a medical thing. But, I know they were genuinely just interested and I took it as an opportunity to educate people about her condition. One thing about the bandage though is that people likely assume it's an injury rather than a medical condition and so I wonder if that also makes them more likely to ask because they see it as less of a private thing.

They are your colleagues. Theyre asking out of concern

If they didnt you would think they didnt care?.

Just say something flippent like shark bite. And move on if you don't want to talk about it

Yabu. Some people are concerned, friendly and curious. I doubt they are being rude.

I made new friends after I broke my ankle as so many people would chat to me when I was hobbling around and ask me how I did it. I did cut short the chat with the local drug dealers dad though.

and if they didn't ask and show concern you'd be posting that your work mates don't care about you.

why make up a story at all, either tell them or don't tell them?

@HoppityBun you don't have to discuss it more. If you say it is bad eczema what you will get back is - Ouch that must be painful or Oh my son/wife/etc has really bad eczema its tough or have you tried x miracle cure? No one will be asking for minute details of your eczema diagnosis and treatment.

I get it OP as I have a tough time with a skin complaint too. However, it is typical of most people to make idle conversation. Ooh! What happened to your hand? Cor! How did you get that shiner? It’s not out of unkindness or suggesting there is something wrong. People just love a chat. Make something up if you don’t want to say. No harm done.

People are always going to comment unfortunately. Same with even the most minor of haircuts. Oh youve had your hair cut!

I find it intrusive if people are nosey but it’s also an opportunity to educate because many people don’t grasp how seriously these conditions affect people’s lives. So I’d definitely suggest that you say: thanks I have very bad eczema and it has become very infected but I’d prefer not to discuss it.

I'm a teacher so I'm literally trained to ask about any visible injuries, among other things, as part of safeguarding training. You are being really unreasonable. There's no reason that someone would guess it was a sensitive subject. They are literally checking in that you are ok. I agree with PP that it's an invitation to connect. You can accept it or not.

Then just lie if you can't say it is eczema.

How dare your colleagues be concerned about you, what a bloody cheek.

She said people in shops are asking about her hand. It would annoy me as well. My point is people don't really care about what they ask. They just think they're meant to just talk, and it can be intrusive

I had this going through asda checkout, she just didn’t get my vibe that I didn’t want to engage about it, I eventually said I’ve got a skin disease and she said I’m not judging you, Jeezo thanks for that. Honestly I’d never think to ask someone as a heckoug operator what was wrong

It's a bleak world where you obligate shutting down conversations before they even begin because it is assumed all interest is impertinent nosiness... when the vast majority of the time it is just one person wanting to connect with another.
If you don't want the chit chat you just brush off the interest and that's it, most people would leave it there.

You do get the rude nosy people who would miss the 'not interested' cue... And they are annoying - for those you use a firmer brush off/shut down...

But as a social species we use these things all the time to open a line of communication, and we use our social skills to side step or engage as per our preference.

@johann12 people at work should not ask where you live or what your job is?. I think you have misread the thread.

Yeah, I would be fine with no conversations in shops or taxis. Especially the hairdresser

And they are work colleagues, not random strangers.

We shouldn't be interrogated on where we live and what we work as by strangers

You’re being daft. It would be more weird if nobody mentioned it!

People should learn to be quiet and say nothing to anyone?

@Cheepcheepcheep

Thats totally different though. That’s you intervening in a live situation to offer support to someone who may need it urgently.

A world away from a situation where a physical issue has clearly been dealt with. If someone is well enough to work, they don’t need that sort of urgent intervention by a stranger or acquaintance.

Again, it’s a different matter if it’s a close work friend or a colleague of longstanding. I was in a marriage which involved DV towards the end and a handful of close colleagues had this on their radar. They knew I trusted them and would check in on me if I was visibly distressed. That’s not the same as people just asking out of sheer nosiness because they are interested. No one is ever going to feel comfortable talking about this if they are put on the spot about something like this by people they hardly know.

It seems odd for complete strangers in shops to say it. Maybe colleagues, the first time they saw it, or friends and family might ask.
I know it's annoying. But eczema is nothing to be ashamed of. I have it. My dad had it really severely all his life. Of course it's up to you but I'd just say I've had a bad eczema flare up. Then change the subject.
It mostly would come from a place of kindness concern I'd imagine. So try not to take it to heart.
I hope you fell better soon. I know how horrid eczema can be. X

You're being ridiculous. People are expressing concern.

Exema is nothing to be embarassed about, but if it makes you feel better by all means tell them a radioactive spider bit you, you were exposed to gamma radiation or you were wrestling a rattle snake.