To think people at work shouldn't ask 'what happened to your hand?'

But she describes them as people at work, so what are they?

YABU, OP, people are just being kind.

You’re right. No one should ever ask anyone anything ever again in case it offends, upsets or triggers them.

Op I've got an infection in my leg due to venous eczema, looks hideous even tho it's slowly healing but I'm always being asked why my leg is bandaged (trousers make me too hot and irritate my eczema more so I've been wearing maxis).

I just say l had a nasty leg infection but it's healing with antibiotics and creams,

@notacooldad they’re not her workmates.

Blimey, you wouldn't last two minutes in my office OP. Everyone asks everyone everything. Everyone tells as well!!

Seriously if you came to my place you would need to hand a card out with all the details of your injury of what happened, where it happened, whether or not it hurts or not, whether you went to the hospital or not to save you telling the same story over and over again.
Fortunately no one gets offended.

why the eyeroll? its what I have done.

Actually, it’s very important. Family, friends, even colleagues are very different to a random stranger behind you in the queue at Asda.

People are generally nice and well intentioned. "Oh dear, what happened to your poor hand?" No need to take the piss when people are being kind. "I splashed some hot water on it from the kettle" if you don't want, for some reason, to say "Oh, I have excema and sometimes it gets sore"

@mathanxiety

It wasn’t my mum it was me. But my point is I was fine with it from people I knew and trusted. I wasn’t fine when it was randoms.

What are you supposed to say if Bob from accounts asks you about a black eye in front of a bunch of other people you slightly know. “Oh it’s just my husband knocks me about. Not a big deal.” If I know you well enough and you take me to a private place that’s one thing. Asking it just for the chit chat isn’t necessary.

Thetes a level of intimacy you have to achieve before you can ask these questions in my opinion. You should never ask a question if someone when there’s a risk they are going to find it difficult to answer you. It’s just common sense.

@Bellsandthistle it's really not important who is asking.

I think it would be really sad if you clearly had an injury and no one cared enough to ask about it.

A lot of people will ask. That's reasonable.

If you give a non-commital answer, that's reasonable too.

Most people will recognise that you don't want to talk about it, and back off. That too is reasonable.

Some people in your position will go into lengthy narrative detail. Having been asked, that's reasonable.

A lot of people will stop listening after the headline. That's reasonable too.

@johann12

its a dying art admittedly, but it's called conversation.

interacting with fellow human beings used to be such a pleasant activity

@StarShineHello

people are concerned & curious. There's nothing wrong with that, it's part of what makes the world turn.

i have a nasty scar you really can't miss, people often ask 'what did you do'??' depends how they ask, what they're like & what mood I'm in how I reply. Anything from 'parachute malfunction' 'knife throwing miscalculation' to the boring truth, I tripped over a log onto concrete & smashed myself up.

it's actually more weird when people don't ask.

just tell them the truth, it's hardly an STI! Or make something up 'stupidly grabbed the blade of the kitchen knife'. ' the kitten likes to attack my fingers'. Whatever you're comfortable with.

care concern & showing an interest are normal human traits, enjoy them before we are all just AI

I don’t think it’s concern as much as making conversation. It’s just an easy way to open a chat as most people will assume you’ve hurt yourself and be ready to offer sympathy.

Agree.

@Thepeopleversuswork

The people asking your mum if everything was okay were concerned about domestic violence your mother may have experienced.

It is exactly what I have asked when female colleagues have appeared at work with a bruise on tne face.

YANBU to be annoyed, as it IS annoying when person after person after person keeps asking you the same question. But YABU to be annoyed with them, as they are just curious, and don't realise they are the 13th person that week to ask!

I got a shiner 5 or so years ago after being whacked around the eye with a tin that came flying out of a wall cupboard, after I had balanced everything a bit precariously. It was really dark purple - and nasty looking for about a WEEK.

EVERY SINGLE PERSON looked at me and went . And the first place their mind went was to assume DH had hit me. I swear some people didn't believe me when I said I had been whacked in the eye socket by a can of beans!

They would rightly consider you very odd and unfriendly if you tried that.

OP, you're being precious here.

You got a deep scratch from a bramble and you're keeping it clean and dry while it heals.

Or - you have eczema and a patch on your hand became infected.

OP is not talking about her colleagues.
Title might be misleading but she is talking about people at THEIR places of work, ie when she goes into the bank or into a shop.
Not. Her. Workmates.

And also, sometimes conversations don't go exactly as we want them to. It would be miserable if we were all walking on eggshells around each other (as plenty of mumsnetters would probably like).

'Oh, I have a medical condition so I need to bandage it' or 'the skin was really sore' is generally enough to stifle any further questions.

If I knew someone and they had a noticeable bandage I would probably ask if they’d injured themselves out of concern. If I didn’t know the person, no way would I ask what happened. It’s plain rude.
If someone has never suffered with eczema or psoriasis or other skin conditions, they probably don’t realise what it’s actually like to have almost every person you meet staring at it and being asked about it ten plus times in one day.
When you already feel self conscious, it can make it so much worse. Plus sometimes things like that are so itchy and uncomfortable, you are just trying to get on with things and put it out of your mind and it doesn’t help to be reminded of it all the time.

Asking your students, yes. That does not extend to asking random strangers minding their business in a shop or the post office. That’s just you being a nosey busybody.

YABU

if you come into work one day with your hand bandaged, people will ask.

Also, they're not expecting it to be a personal medical thing. They'll think it's an injury.

Also, if nobody cared, the injured person might still be unhappy.

From the title I thought that your colleagues were asking (I don't think I'm the only one). In that case I think it's natural for them to ask and would be weird not to. There may also be health and safety implications that needed taking into account for you to work depending on the cause.

I understand from the OP that you mean strangers who are interacting you at their work. This is rather different and yes, I'd find it intrusive and unnecessary too.

"My eczema inflamed" is hardly the height of personal medical information is it? You're not sharing news of a rectal prolapse or something, it's some irritated skin on your hand. I think your reaction to them asking is a bit odd really.