To be worried about boyfriend’s work ethic?

It’s tough that he ‘hates his job’. What’s he doing to improve that situation? Retraining, looking for somewhere else - or just complaining and being lazy?

He is not taking responsibility for any of his actions or lack of actions at work. It is always somebody else's problem or issue. He doesnt know how to resolve those issues so it easier to leave and not look at himself. The hook that has brought you into this relationship is he has had a tough childhood. You are being empathetic to him and trying to understand where he is coming from. Work situations are not empathetic to his childhood problems/ issues as it is a business there to get a job done. You are the ear to his problems. You are without realizing enabling him by giving him so much audience. You will be the worker in the relationship to bring in money. The nice things like running the bath or cooking a meal are done on his terms but if you needed help or support with everyday things and you asked him to do it he may notwant to do things on your terms. give things a while before moving in together and test the waters at a much slower pace to really get to know him. If this issue is itching at you then it is doing so for a reason

@Duplofez you should never stay with a man because you think you can't do better. I'm heavily pregnant now and let me tell you, life would be incredibly hard without a good, supportive man by my side. Don't fuck yourself over because of low self esteem and some arbitrary baby making schedule you set for yourself.

He may thrive with his own business or he may fail miserably because he is ultimately too smug to do the grunt work and can't take criticism. Until his business is flying, I wouldn't move in with him.

Just to add, there is seriously something amiss in his character if he can’t take criticism at work. He’s 20-something so quite new in his albeit highly skilled role, probably has done well at school/uni and thinks that is all he needs to succeed. He is wrong. Bit part of it is taking feedback on board with a bit of humility and being able to get along with people.
Running a bath and making dinner for you is easy as it’s not every day. And i assume you don’t criticise him. Try doing that and playing devils advocate, saying that perhaps feedback is worth taking onboard and see how he reacts to that. I guess he will get into a strop.
He might have been unlucky with one job. But that’s not the case, he is the common denominator here.

My exH was like that too, every place he went into i knew exactly how it would go after a while, it was like a cookie cutter everywhere he went. He also started his own business and it was the same, same situations and issues. He lacks self reflection though and thinks he knows the best and everyone else is there to hinder and slight him. After years of supporting him i got divorced. It got so bad that i couldn’t sleep at night due to out finances, his answer to all was that i need to believe in him eventhough numbers didn’t add up and we were heading up the shit creek.

In short, you are young, focus on your own financial independence and right person will come along. Don’t choose the path which will ruin you. Go on dating sites, find someone suitable with the same attitudes and motivation. Don’t sleepwalk into disaster, be smart and take care of your future. Love and nice baths will mean nothing when you are exhausted from worry and carrying him along.

Brilliant wise words

He's a manchild who will never step up and adult - you'll need to "mother" him rather than be his equal partner.
Is everything that goes wrong someone else's fault?
Does he gets let go or on PiP because he's always on sick leave or late? Does he change his job frequently?
He hates his job but won't apply himself or look for something with better prospects?

We have one of these in our family. He's a charmer for sure but flaky, undomesticated, never fully fledged, and mummy wipes his nose. I pity the poor girl who falls for him as she'll have a harder passage through life because of him.

If a man is good for you, he is good from the start. You should not have to work this hard.

Throw this one back.

Can he honestly not see a correlation between him skiving off at every opportunity and his bosses thinking he's not doing well at his job? I think you are right to be concerned to be honest. It's up to you what you do about it though.

Perhaps you need to venture out of the country, I’m sure there are other men across the globe who would be far more ideal than this work shy lazy boy you have.

if you have children and take maternity leave…what will you do if he decides to quit of go off sick and bills can’t be covered ? Or you have to cut maternity leave short because of him ?

always think about worse case scenarios

If you're thinking of having children with him then he wont mind being the stay at home parent then will he

Yes, if you don't mind becoming his next unhappy and unreasonable boss.

OP I have called you an Uber. So you can ride over that hill as fast as fucking possible!

Seriously though, leave him. He’s making excuses for his poor work record by blaming everyone around him. He resents having to work, it’s as simple as that. Men like this make awful partners. You just cannot rely on someone who is constantly changing jobs, taking time off, etc.

Get out now before it gets anymore serious. Otherwise your future is going to consist of the following:

Failed rent/mortgage payments, reminders about paying bills; having to take on board all of the financials (and the stress that goes with that); broken promises (a LOT of them), never feeling like your relationship is really going anywhere; like just staying afloat is all that you can achieve together.

Is that the kind of future you want, OP?

If you're thinking of having children with him then he wont mind being the stay at home parent then will he.

I can guarantee that if you marry him, you'll end up supporting him and your kids and doing all the housework and you'll be back here in five years' time saying you're exhausted and trapped and you don't know what to do.

End it now.

God that sounds even worse!

Can almost guarantee that will fail if he is lazy.

Get rid, move on.

I think she must have had the misfortune of knowing my ex-husband. Embarrassment and humiliation doesn’t even begin to cover it; you end up constantly covering up

Do not fall for this one. My ex-husband felt that he was being victimised by colleagues and would be better off working for himself. Got one contract, got bad feedback and packed that in. It doesn’t matter what he does, he’s the problem

Op look really HARD at how YOU want your life to look like;

Do you want to only date within your religion, it is your decision ultimately.

Is wanting to marry and have children in a set timescale worth lowering the bar with a useless provider?

Do you want an equal partner who will step up if you or any children are sick or (god forbid) disabled?

Are you willing to be the main breadwiner through decades, alongside bringing up any children you may have? Think about how hard that could be.

Will you resent a spineless manchild who cannot commit to his job?

Will you still be attracted to him?

Sounds like my ex-husband. End this relationship now. You will be on egg shells wondering if he will work/be fired/have to resign. You will feel constantly humiliated by his inability/unwillingness to hold down a job. You will end up stressed about money. You will end up doing all the work and cutting maternity leave short in desperation to pay the bills. Do not even think about moving in or having children with this man. Take it from one who has been there

He sounds really lazy. An apprentice cocklodger in the making

What @HumanRightsAreHumanRights says is very true in my experience

Oh no another one who thinks he'll start a business. With what?

Also what happens if a client gives negative feedback?

I had one like this. It was never him. He's job hopped and never did the business of the ground.

We've all had times where we've disliked our jobs but we have to get on with it.

Life is hard enough without worrying that you have to subsidise another adult.

I would not be able to commit to someone like that. He is showing you who he is. Think long and hard about this one. It sounds like he may also jump from job to job? Another red flag.

The hills are that way OP. If you leave now you can walk rather than run.

He doesn’t even get on the baseline for consideration if he’s work-shy OP.

He’s a non starter if he’s that unreliable in the work place.
Don’t move in with him.
Don’t let him think for a minute that you condone his taking sick leave like that at the drop of a hat. It seems he is well used to letting people down.

You need the opposite of what he’s presenting to you.
I’m grad you are realising you deserve better than that.

Most families need two full time progressive incomes to keep a roof over their heads these days OP. The stress of that is something you need to consider in finding a suitable life partner who you can love, respect and trust to work with you, not against you, through the coming years.

You are righ to think hard about letting this one go sooner rather than later.