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AIBU?

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Original poster

to say that newborns have not read the safer sleep guidelines?

81 replies

Lultasway · 12/08/2024 14:26

My 3 week old baby does not seem to understand that he should be sleeping feet to foot flat on his back in his cot. He would much rather sleep all scrunched up on his tummy on my chest. Nor will he sleep next to me in a safe co sleeping set up - he wants to be on me.

My eldest son (who is much older) used to sleep in any number of places I now understand are deemed unsafe including his car seat, bouncer etc. My DD who is 8 used to sleep brilliantly in her sleepyhead but apparently those are also no longer deemed safe. Swaddles - apparently also no longer deemed safe according to my midwife.

AIBU in thinking surely there can't be many babies happy to sleep flat on their backs alone in a cot as newborns?!

OP posts:
expiredplants · 12/08/2024 14:49

I had one like that, we eventually gave up with the cot and co-slept, and in the day was in a sling for naps. Obviously that’s frowned upon too.

Original poster
Lultasway · 12/08/2024 14:49

Overbythewaterfountain · 12/08/2024 14:48

Look up the Safe Sleep Seven or the safe cosleeping guidelines from the Lullaby Trust. Also join The Beyond Sleep Training Project on Facebook, who I believe have pinned guidelines.

All mammals cosleep, including most humans globally now in addition to most humans historically - it is only a recent minority (and only in some countries) who expect mammalian infants of any species to sleep without a parent.

Japanese children cosleep up to around age seven and SIDS is so rare there it's not a recognised thing. The statistics for cosleeping risk in the UK lump deliberately cosleeping on a firm flat surface with no loose bedding having as no drugs in the same category with drunkenly falling asleep on a sofa with a baby.

If cosleeping is done safely (no pillows, no alcohol, flat sleeping surface etc) it reduces the risk of SIDS because being able to hear an adult breathe helps small babies to regulate their own breathing so they don't fall into respiratory arrest.

All of which is entirely useless to me because DS does not want to sleep next to me, he wants to sleep on me.

OP posts:
Overbythewaterfountain · 12/08/2024 14:48

Look up the Safe Sleep Seven or the safe cosleeping guidelines from the Lullaby Trust. Also join The Beyond Sleep Training Project on Facebook, who I believe have pinned guidelines.

All mammals cosleep, including most humans globally now in addition to most humans historically - it is only a recent minority (and only in some countries) who expect mammalian infants of any species to sleep without a parent.

Japanese children cosleep up to around age seven and SIDS is so rare there it's not a recognised thing. The statistics for cosleeping risk in the UK lump deliberately cosleeping on a firm flat surface with no loose bedding having as no drugs in the same category with drunkenly falling asleep on a sofa with a baby.

If cosleeping is done safely (no pillows, no alcohol, flat sleeping surface etc) it reduces the risk of SIDS because being able to hear an adult breathe helps small babies to regulate their own breathing so they don't fall into respiratory arrest.

RagzRebooted · 12/08/2024 14:47

Yeah, babies don't observe guidelines. DD would only sleep on her front on my chest, or on her side next to me, for what felt like months. I tried so many things, even bought a weird swinging baby hammock thing. Nope.
Obviously guidelines are there for a reason, but in some cases all you can do is try to minimise risk and get some sleep.

Original poster
Lultasway · 12/08/2024 14:43

Mine will sleep on his back if I'm holding him. In his cot - forget it. Dummies, white noise, warming the cot - no dice. At this point I'm stumped as to how it's possible for me to get literally any sleep at all and follow the guidelines. I don't have a partner to work in shifts with.

OP posts:
Amoozbooze · 12/08/2024 14:41

My daughter wouldn't sleep on her back when she was a baby either. She slept a little on her tummy or side, she didn't sleep much except for directly on me. I know that is the old advice and there are still other countries that babies sleep on their bellies so it is not so dangerous, but as a new mum I was very worried about it.