Book issue “spine broken”

I am a librarian. She is bonkers. If it is a specialist book or a book she regards as precious then that is different, but a standard paperback? It's fine.

This is why I wouldn't loan a book I cared about, but if she was always planning to pass it along when you were finished with it (and assuming the pages aren't now loose), she shouldn't have said anything.

(I would make a mental note, however, that you were rough on loaned books and not loan you anything I wanted back... but as I already have a policy of not loaning out my personal books, it's a moot point.)

I'm precious about my books and hate having a creased/broken spine. I don't lend my books to anyone because of this so I am firmly in the belief that she should never had lent it to you.

The only thing you can do is apologise and say you were careful. If she really plays her face or you want to really make it up to her then offer to buy her a new copy.

Would you really be "livid", though?

In which case, what level of anger do you reserve for when people do actually deliberately bad and horrible things that really hurt you and those you love?

I'd have thought that's what "livid" is for. Damaging a paperback book you are about to give away - isn't mild irritation at most the appropriate emotional response?

I mean, yes we are all different - but seriously...

Livid?

Are you 100% sure she meant the message to be hurtful, and wasn't just being light hearted but you've been a bit sensitive?

If she definitely meant it to hurt you then frankly that's awful - so what if you damaged the book - people's feelings are WAY more important than a paperback book.

Given that she was giving it away, I don't think you have done anything wrong. If she had said "this is a treasured gift from my long dead mother, I will keep it forever" and you had bashed it about, I'd think you could have been carefuller.

If someone lent me a book before it went in a free book swap, I wouldn't be especially reverential I don't think.

But it wasn't being returned to her, it was being passed on to a free book swap.

I am an inveterate spine cracker of my own books. I would be far more careful with a book that someone had loaned me and expected to have returned to their own collection. But if it was going to go on to a book swap then I'd be more relaxed.

OK, books are made to be read, but a broken spine on a paperback will eventually lead to the pages all falling out.

If you'd done it to one of mine I would have been livid with you.

I would never ever crack the spine on a book. Ever.
But I know it's a thing a lot of people do so I'd only lend something I expected to come back broken.
You need to be aware of your book spine cracker status and let people know in future who offer you books and she needs to get a grip and be aware this is something that happens to books and to make people aware of her rules
Neither are right or wrong just different.
Very different.

It really is. If I'm buying a book in a charity shop I often choose one with a fully creased spine - it means the reader is more likely to have enjoyed it and read through to the end!

After about a third of the way through it’s anybody’s guess when a cheap paperback spine is going to crack.
It all adds to the thrill…

Oh gosh, I'm a cracker, I didn't even know that it wasn't the done thing! Yet another thing Mumsnet has taught me!

I don't borrow books from people like her, it is too distracting keeping the book perfectly pristine.

I don't mistreat books and hate a book with a truly broken spine but I want to open the book fully and be able to put it in my bag or whatever. Sometimes the spines get pretty creased in normal use and that's fine.

People who fold down pages, deliberately fold books back on themselves or write in them (other than an inscription/name in the front) have a special place in hell though.

I wouldn't lend a book out expecting it not to have a creased spine. I can't read books without doing so myself.

If it was on loan, I wouldn't bend the spine.

It sounds precious, but breaking the spine does enable the pages to come loose, so it's for a fairly good reason that one should be mindful of breaking spines.

If she's that precious about her books, she shouldn't loan them out to anyone.
I know some people get very pernickety about books. It’s not precious to expect something you’ve lent to be returned to you n the same condition as when you lent it

Well now you know her preference, you can apologise and say you'll take it into account next time (when you either borrow or decline to borrow)
There's no need to start a bandwagon or judge who is "right", it's just a preference and you try to respect other people's preferences.
As for the way she's communicated it, well some people don't feel able to take the bull by the horns, especially if they are likely to be told their preference is wrong, but everyone's preference is valid regardless of communicating it a weird sounding way.

Fwiw in our house the rule is don't bend books beyond 180 degrees (and don't write in them), but with 2 kids and only one pair of eyes you can guess how that goes.
Good luck and happy book cracking

A creased spine is a sign of a good book!

Mmm really depends on what you did and what she actually means here.

If she means you opened it out so far that the spine actually cracked, that the pages are not now stuck to each other close to the spine but you can see the card or board there or even pages coming loose...

AND you actively did this by leaving the book open, face down, then piled stuff on top of it, or by opening it out and properly bending the pages backward to break the spine...

Then yeah she has a point.

However a lot of books are cheaply glue-bound with a very stiff, brittle glue and if you open the pages out a normal amount in order to read it in a normal fashion, it will crack and break...

If thats all you did, open it normally to read... then no, you're not at fault.

If she was expecting you to hold the book partially closed and squint into it to try to see the words nearer the spine edge of each page... she's a dick and should not lend books!

Spines on very thick paperbacks should crease and soften as you read them. They shouldn't crack... but many modern ones do unfortunately.

You’re clearly a rough handler of books or she wouldn’t say anything. A crease in a spine is understandable, a cracked spine is mistreatment.

Don’t borrow things if you can’t look after them.

Cracking a spine fills me with horror. My books look perfect after I've read them and I'd certainly treat someone else's book with care, whether they were keeping that book or not.

This is why I hate lending books. DH doesn't really realise how honoured he was that I offered to lend him a couple of books early in our relationship. It caused me a lot of anxiety over their welfare until I got them back.

I’ve got Jilly Coopers that are decades old that are so well read multiple times and pages are no where near falling out. They are properly battered too, so many creases and I don’t even think there’s a rigid spine left! They still do their job.

Have just read Demon Copperhead without cracking the spine and have moved on to The Little Friend. I don't like cracked spines on my books, so only pass them on if I don't want them back, or if I think the book is so good it absolutely needs to be read and I'm therefore prepared to sacrifice it.