Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wording an email to abusive ex

30 replies

Nchanged89 · 12/08/2024 11:20

Hi, I need to email my clown of an ex. DD is 16, needs braces, all approved by orthodontist but she needs to see hygienist at her dentist before we see orthodontist again.
Ex dealt with all dental stuff before, he's passed the orthodontist on to me and is seeming he wants to pass the dentist on to me. He is a bare minimum dad, doesn't pay a penny over his CMS, won't do anything extra. I have no contact with him as he was/is abusive. I have a separate email address that I use for contact with him when it's essential. I basically need to tell him to stick it up his arse, I will take her to orthodontist but general dentist appointment, were and should still be his responsibility as he registered her, takes her and deals with it.
Can anyone help me word this, he is a nasty abusive individual, no matter what issues I've raised in the past, he turns it round to be all my fault with nasty insults thrown in.
The thought of contacting him makes me feel ill with anxiety.
Can anyone help me word it.
Thanks.

OP posts:
FancyBiscuitsLevel · 12/08/2024 11:30

Call your dentist - many have closed lists officially but will take on children of registered patients.

you have 2 years to get through, accept he’s a dick and then see you can minimise the headache his dickishness causes.

loropianalover · 12/08/2024 11:28

Sorry OP but I’d just take over the responsibility of it, you need to be 100% certain dental stuff is being done correctly and on time.

Nchanged89 · 12/08/2024 11:27

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 12/08/2024 11:23

Will he take her to the hygienist though? I think I’d try to move dd to my dentist and ensure it actually happens, when they have braces you need to be on to of cleaning and hygiene visits, a lot of muck can get stuck in the braces and ultimately it’s your dd who’ll suffer if he can’t be arsed.

you can’t make someone be a good parent, you can just limit their ability to fuck stuff up for everyone else.

Thanks, my dentist isn't taking people on at the moment I don't think. He will take her if he is told he has to. He seems to be slowly checking out more and more since DS turned 18, gradually shirking the last few parenting responsibilities he actually has.

OP posts:
Michelle987 · 12/08/2024 11:25

Take on the responsibility. Its not worth the hassle imo

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 12/08/2024 11:23

Will he take her to the hygienist though? I think I’d try to move dd to my dentist and ensure it actually happens, when they have braces you need to be on to of cleaning and hygiene visits, a lot of muck can get stuck in the braces and ultimately it’s your dd who’ll suffer if he can’t be arsed.

you can’t make someone be a good parent, you can just limit their ability to fuck stuff up for everyone else.