Dp doesn’t like my new hair style

I’m not sure choosing your hair and clothes style to suit someone else is necessary fro respect. Or that ‘looking lovely’ is a sign of respect either. Clean and tidy, maybe. There are much better ways to show respect.

DH prefers me with long hair. But once I hit 40 I was absolutely sick of it and cut it to a neck length bob and later added an undercut at the back. It’s not what he would prefer but frankly if it weren’t for him I would have it much shorter still and have the undercut visible. And it’s not him who has to put up with the time drying, styling it and putting up with the heat it generates. So I’m much happier with it shorter but am compromising to take his preference into account.

During lockdown he grew a short beard because he didn’t want to shave. I didn’t like it but said nothing.

No need to apologise.

What would I do?
I'm 45 and like a very short hair, luckily can pull it off.
I would absolutely tell him to fuck off.
Sorry 😁

Sorry, but we like to look lovely for one another. It’s mutual respect.

I'd carry on wearing my hair how I like.
That said,I love Dhs beard and moan at him when he shaves it off!

I wouldn’t drastically change my appearance without my partner agreeing it was a good idea because I like him being attracted to me. I’d be disappointed if he decided he was going to grow his hair long because I find it unattractive on a man and would probably make some kind of comment. So I don’t think this man has done anything wrong.

He can have his opinion. As long as your happy with it.

Personally, I'd rather a relationship where both our preferences are known (even with the occasional annoying comment), than one where we're both unhappy because each is 'not giving a fuck about anyone's opinion'.

Then, it's up to you if you really LOVE your hairstyle to keep it, or if you're lairs you're not that keen.

I don't think he's done anything wrong...it's just his opinion. I was pretty gutted when my ex went from longer, thick wavy hair and a beard to crew cut and clean shaven in one day - it felt like a different man went out to work and came home and he no longer resembled the man I fell in love with. I remember going on a romantic date with him that night and feeling really weird about it as he look SO different and I was having to get used to this "new" man...it was all a bit uncanny.

It took about a week for me to feel physically attracted to him at all to be honest and I always preferred it when his hair and stubble grew back a bit (and was sort of sad when he would mention he was off to the barbers).

I never mentioned it to him at all. He thought I preferred it, I think, as most women didn't like beards! And after the initial shock wore off, he was the same man I fell in love with of course. It was just such a big, drastic change. If my connection to him was only physical and it was a shallow relationship...who knows? I might have broke up with him. But my attraction to him was based on him as a whole person so it was just a temporary "ick".

I don't think this makes me a horrible person. Just a human.

Equally, my partner preferred me dressed down with no makeup. That's not my style. I took my physical confidence from what made me feel good, not him. That would be my advice to you. If you feel better with short hair, then it's your hair. Enjoy it. If you've a relationship that goes beyond just the physical, the short hair won't make a huge difference in the long term, even if he does prefer long hair. You're still the you he fell in love with, long hair or short hair.

Have you reached the stratosphere yet? Just wondering how much further off the scale you were going to take it?

I'm sure he'll get used to it probably just a shock at first. I know I'm shocked when dh shaves his beard off lol

Same!

I do t like it when DH gets his hair cut very short or with stubble

Thank you for sharing! It reminds me of Neapolitan ice cream 😂 However bonus points to to your DH for wearing something chosen by your DD, I think that’s rather sweet

It’s a no win situation I’m afraid
ultimately he’s not done anything wrong

but in some cases the path of least resistance is the best say nothing or lie

I think most men prefer longer hair (generally speaking).

Tell him to go and take l o n g walk off a short pier.

I never got used to my mother's change from long, soft, flowing hair to harsh cauliflower perm. She did it when I was 5 and it still looks wrong.

Yep mine pulled this stunt once. I say once, because he was swiftly told it’s my hair and if he had any he would be fully welcome to do with his whatever the fuck he wants.

He now knows the correct response to my hairdresser visits is “your hair looks nice” even if it doesn’t 🤣

I’m the opposite…I want long, luscious hair but every man I’ve ever dated has preferred me with a bob and fringe, including my husband. Maybe this is the style that best suits me but I want Disney Princess hair. Not that I’ve ever had that 😆

He's allowed to have an opinion, but he's stupid for saying it to you!

I realise you think you're being terribly witty here but this is honestly fucking gross. Comments about physical attributes that people can't change can drive an irremovable wedge into a relationship. If your husband said "well I prefer a tighter pussy than yours" to you as a "gotcha" in a fight would you ever really forgive or forget that?

Wild idea but maybe the OP could start by talking to her husband like a fucking grown up?

😆

There's nothing wrong with having opinions and preferences about how your partner looks. At the same time that's all it is, an opinion, and you don't need to alter your choice to fit their tastes if you don't want to.

DP had long hair years before we knew each other and I've said a few times that we'd have never hooked up if he'd had it the night we met. I'm also not into beards or moustaches, and luckily he has no desire to grow either. Some of my male friends have gone the man bun route since becoming dads (I have no explanation for this pattern) and every time I've said to him afterwards "god I'm so glad you don't have a man bun".

That's more opinions than he's ever offered on my hair or style though to be fair I haven't actually changed my boring low-maintenance haircut since I met him, apart from shaving it all off in lockdown which he said he surprisingly liked.

And with all that said I think we both recognise that whatever our personal preferences, if the other person has their heart set on a particular style it's up to them only.

This
some responses are childish and from a bloke I’m pretty sure some posters would be claiming abusive. “I didn’t like my dh’s haircut so he said he hated my breasts”

I think it’s fine to have a like or dislike about something a partner does to their appearance. They can choose to change, or not, that’s totally their right.