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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this really isn't normal?

143 replies

Rosie129 · 12/08/2024 00:41

My friend admitted today that her DD (5) hasn't done anything all summer holidays. Just stayed inside on her tablet. Apparently her DD hasn't wanted to go anywhere. They said if they do 'can they bring the tablet?' She said she's been staying up till 1-2am every night just on the tablet and not sleeping. She lets her watch the tablet whilst having her dinner. My friend said she won't eat anything if she's not watching something during it. I have witnessed it and she doesn't respond to anyone whilst on the tablet, she's just completely fixated on the screen and ignores everyone

OP posts:
Ozgirl75 · 12/08/2024 03:57

There’s no way that a parent would be this bad, unless she had significant health issues and just couldn’t cope with parenting. No one would think this was ok.

MumChp · 12/08/2024 03:56

Why do you ask? You know it's not how most people raise their children.

GoodLordyTheExcusesWeMakeForThem · 12/08/2024 03:47

Sounds like neurodivergence to me. Has the child been assessed?

Sweetteaplease · 12/08/2024 02:39

Well obviously DD is going to be fked for life if she's already addicted to a tablet at 5 (it wouldn't surprise me at all). Last week I saw someone walking holding her phone out with the kid behind her watching the screen Confused Seriously depressing if a child can't even walk without needing a screen to entertain them

Guavafish1 · 12/08/2024 02:36

I think it’s fine.

Bellsandthistle · 12/08/2024 02:34

Sure, ringing social services in the first instance and behind your friend’s back is always the best way to help support her 👍

Mimaulka · 12/08/2024 02:23

Social services are there to support? Evidently OP doesn't feel she can do anything or she would have done it

Bellsandthistle · 12/08/2024 02:22

@Mimaulka surely as a friend you would talk to her and see if she’s ok and if she needs any support with anything. Perhaps offer to take care of the little girl for a while to give mom a break, take little one out somewhere, see if friend is open to support. Not go behind your friends back and call social services ffs.

Mimaulka · 12/08/2024 01:56

Some will likely say I'm overreacting but I'd call Social services. It's likely there's something else going on and if what you say is true then child isn't having their stimulatory needs met and there's no routines/boundaries in the home. Not going out per se isn't a problem but if the child's on the ipad until 1 in the morning and can't function without it then it sounds like a household that needs additional support

mollyfolk · 12/08/2024 01:34

What was the full conversation. Was worried about this? Honestly if they have both spend the whole summer in their house with the 5 year old on her tablet then I would be thinking your friend is depressed or suffering in some way.

Bellsandthistle · 12/08/2024 01:31

I highly doubt your friend said this to you.
What is your aibu because surely you know most parents do not allow their 5 year olds to stay on the tablet 24/7 and stay up all night. Seems like you just wanted people to agree your friend is a shit mum…

ViscountDreams · 12/08/2024 01:26

Of course it's not normal, if true. Not having done anything at all? Even just half an hour at a park or a dog walk or kicking a ball in the garden?

I'm far from militant about screen time...ds3 (7) spent about 3 hours straight on his on Friday night. BUT he'd been at rugby camp for 7 hours and was flat out exhausted by 4.30pm so 🤷‍♀️. But all day every day is just really, really sad for the child.

Franjipanl8r · 12/08/2024 01:18

It sounds like your friend either doesn’t care or is too scared to face the repercussions of taking the iPad away. Either way, it’s lazy shit parenting.

Cheesecakelunch · 12/08/2024 00:58

No it isn't normal though for some its becoming the norm. Terrible parenting whatever way you look at it.

Cakeandcoffee93 · 12/08/2024 00:58

This is sad. She should be enjoying the sun and painting and colouring etc with tv time later at night. Your friends not helping by the sounds of it

TulipCat · 12/08/2024 00:58

Assuming this is actually happening, then no, it's not normal. Who lets a five year old stay up til all hours, regardless of what they're doing? But that aside, they need to change this, starting today.

Theunamedcat · 12/08/2024 00:54

Technology addiction it will cost them come September

We have had loads of tablet time this holiday for various reasons but thankfully we have been able to get out so he detaches quite well

TimeForTeaAndG · 12/08/2024 00:44

Soooo...what's your AIBU? Does your friend want parenting advice? Is DD neurodivergent?

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