To think this really isn't normal?

Who are you to say it’s bad for her? Maybe she talks about it so openly and nonchalantly because she know this is the right path for her dd because she is meeting her needs, because she knows her damn child and you instead of listening and being a good friend, passed judgement anf then brougbt it to a public forum to allow this woman to have her parenting called lazy and abusive. Having people recommending you call social services etc. wtf why didn’t you just ask her why she does this? I stand by my earlier comment. This woman doesn't need parenting classes or social services rtc, she just needs better friends.

No. It’s not.

I dont even know why people bother giving them to toddlers or young children in general, the kid will only become obsessed with it and it will be another thing to regulate. Who can actually be bothered? I'm not trying to make myself sound superior to people that give their kids iPads but my kids going on 7 and has never had one. The great grandparents bought her one for Christmas and I told them that can stay at their house so she only uses it when she visits them. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I see babies with tablets like damn they would of been happy to just stare at paint drying now you've got to deal with the tantrums when the tablet is taken away.

It wouldn't be normal for good parents but it's certainly normal for many children. There are alot of very lazy parents. I'm certainly not parent of the year but I'm shocked at how much screen time dcs friends spend. I invited some kids for a play date and they bought their fucking tablets with them! Why would they need that on a play date? It's no wonder to me that kids mental health and social abilities are in decline.

@Edenmum2 Not sure. I have a toddler and he is allowed to watch tv on the iPad occasionally (maybe once a week) but he doesn't have a tablet or constant access to one, we don't use one at mealtimes or in the car and we limit the time he is allowed to watch tv.

I know a few parents who use them in the car or at mealtimes but I wonder if it's more common than people admit to.

Very sad indeed and is definitely neglect. Young children need interaction, nature, exercise, experiences. They're developing and need exposure to positive experiences.

Poor girl, what a lazy mum. No job and sat indoors for 3-4 weeks. Whether the 5 year old WANTS to go out or not, she bloody well should be. Some parents are utterly clueless.

Mayo clinic's recommandations:
"For children ages 2 to 5, limit screen time to one hour a day of high-quality programming.
The problems with screens
Too much screen time and regular exposure to poor-quality programming has been linked to:

Obesity
Inadequate sleep schedules and insufficient sleep
Behavior problems
Delays in language and social skills development
Violence
Attention problems
Less time learning
Keep in mind that unstructured playtime is more valuable for a young child's developing brain than is electronic media. "

Can you please send this link to your friend and say that you are worried about her DC and that you would like to help her out if it's difficult: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/childrens-health/in-depth/screen-time/art-20047952

You don’t need a course in child development to know it’s terrible parenting.

I find this post really odd. Of course we are all going to think this isn't great.

It sounds like there's something going on here. Your mate sounds like she might be depressed or struggling massively in some way. The staying up until 1am for example. Most of us just want those kids asleep!

Did you enquire as to whether she's ok? Even those of us with poor role models know there's something amiss in all this and so do you without having to post it on here.

There are multiple red flags for the kid being ND in this situation. Is it possible your friend is? Something is not adding up here. If she's married, isn't the husband saying something?

It’s awful. Even from the development of her muscles and general movement skills point of view. Obviously her social skills will suffer. Staying in her house for the entire summer is really bad for her. But I’m not sure there is anything you can do other than offer to take her out.

It is absolutely relevant.

Some of the long winded justifications for the appalling parenting you’ve described beggar belief. As do the instances the child is ND based on absolutely nothing.

She’s being neglected, her basic needs aren’t being met and she’s being failed. Of course she can’t cope at school, she doesn’t know how to eat unless she’s gawping at a screen and her sleep patterns are horrendous. She’s seriously addicted. Poor little thing.

What are you going to do OP?

Is your friend mentally well, could she be struggling with depression? Staying in all day , everyday is not healthy! If she is fine , then I'm sorry but it's lazy and terrible parenting

I find it realy sad this little girl doesnt want to go out, go to the park, meet up with friends, ride a bike, play games etc.

She's also going to massively struggle with school when she returns.

Just out of interest, what is it you were trying to achieve from this thread? You know its not normal, are you hoping for advice?

What is the point of this post?

You don't sound like much of a friend.

And oh, the middle-classness of mumsnet to think social services have the time for and will be interested in a child going on a tablet too much.

As soon as their hands can hold one, according to some

Just wondering reading this - what age is it normal for a child to even have a tablet? No judgement just generally wondering as the parent of a toddler

It's not 'normal' no. But we don't know the reasons why there is such a reliance on the tablet. Is the mum depressed/anxious/overwhelmed so she can't do much with the child or is the child neurodivergent? There are a lot of reasons why this might be the only way to keep the peace but it isn't very healthy. The bit that would concern me most is her staying up until the early hours watching a tablet. There is surely no excuse for that.

I've been through periods with my two where they've had far more screen time than I'd like so I'd not judge anyone. Mine have surprised me this year though and barely been on any screens and been playing out in the park, football, on bikes, even in the rain sometimes.

Are you sure she's not just putting that tablet on when you come over to occupy her DD while you two chat?

If it's all the time then no it's not normal at all and not very good parenting.

Who let's a 5 year old stays up until 1.00/2.00 am on a tablet, it's not bad parenting it's totally neglectful. I would careless if she throws a tantrum she certainly would not get her own way, school is already suffering, your friend needs to sort it out.

Absolutely crap,parenting.

On a separate note aside from parenting, there has been a big increase in 'self generated' online child sexual abuse material in 3-6 year olds according to the IWF.

It's frightening how much access to devices some children have.

I’m not sure about that. My children 4 and 6 would happily spend most of their time on a tablet if I let them. But I don’t. That’s the difference.