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Partner telling me to eat healthily- fuming

511 replies

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:29

I went for a run today. It's 23 degrees where I am, it's hot and it's not the best weather for running. I managed 3.2 miles but then had to stop as I'd ran out of water and what little water I had left in my bottle was warm given the heat.

I texted my partner when I'd finished (he was at a soft play with our toddler) to say I'd struggled but managed 3 miles, and that I felt a little dizzy and was craving water and salt (presumably because I'd sweated so much I'd lost a lot of salt). I said I might drive past McDonalds on the way home to grab some chips (just chips, nothing else) as I needed to replace the salt. He replied, "you need to eat healthily".

So... I saw red. This is a man who is overweight and who I watched sit on the sofa at lunch time and eat a Greggs cream cake. I didn't do this - I had a half a sandwich and a banana then went for a run. This is, by the way, my 3rd run of this week and I also plan to go to the gym tomorrow morning to do a weights class.

For context, I am a size 10 (BMI is 22.5 ish). So I am not even overweight but I want to tone up a bit and to get back my pre baby level of fitness, hence making this effort

Am I right to feel really annoyed by what feels like judgement for what I've chosen to eat post run, when I'm making an effort here and he is not? If he was the picture of health and fitness then maybe I'd accept that comment a bit more but ... seriously?! You eat a cake for lunch then tell me, post 3 mile run, to "eat healthily" 😵‍💫

Or am I overreacting or am I right to feel annoyed at this judgement? 🤔

OP posts:
StellaCruella · 13/08/2024 18:37

This thread... I've not read it all but seriously, of course you are not BU OP, his comment was out of order. Literally anyone in the same position would have been pissed off. The AIBU board is just a board which insists on a character assassination of anyone who posts.

Aroastdinnerisnotahumanright · 13/08/2024 18:16

I'm just glad I'm not married to either of these people.

Tulipsareredvioletsarebue · 13/08/2024 18:13

Paintpalette · 11/08/2024 18:15

If your normal communication style is regularly blunt, unnecessary, meaningless 'ok then' / 'good for you', then maybe he was just replying in kind.

You're dizzy after three miles with a bottle of water. That's not normal.

You just had a run, but want chips. Your salt intake BS needs calling out.

He's taking on extra childcare for you to indulge in increasing the amount of running (which you go to and from in the car...)

Maybe be just doesn't care about the specifics of your running and doesn't want to keep hearing about about it.

Extra childcare?
Victorian era knocking at your door asking for its ideas back.
He's the father! He is not doing childcare, he is looking after his own child!

ItsAlrightDarling · 13/08/2024 18:04

campertess · 13/08/2024 17:41

I'm not the one moaning about my partner. What an ignorant horrible way you talk to people. You should just keep your mouth shut.

Yeah, because ‘get a life’ is really polite…

dreamer24 · 13/08/2024 17:59

And I did not mention the cream cake, either to him or Mumsnet, and had no intention to, until he gave me unsolicited advice on what I should eat to be more healthy. The absolute audacity and irony of it was the reason I mentioned it in my post. I do not, on a daily basis, care or pay attention to what he eats. Hope that clarifies.

OP posts:
campertess · 13/08/2024 17:58

dreamer24 · 13/08/2024 17:57

Erm, it is precisely because he ate a cake for lunch that I am reeling at the sheer hypocrisy of him advising me on healthy eating - I assumed the link there was pretty obvious 😆

And you are going to McDonald's. 😂

dreamer24 · 13/08/2024 17:57

campertess · 13/08/2024 17:54

Why would you moan about being advised by your partner to eat healthy but then moan that he eats cream cakes for lunch? Pot and kettle. It just seems odd that you are fuming.

Erm, it is precisely because he ate a cake for lunch that I am reeling at the sheer hypocrisy of him advising me on healthy eating - I assumed the link there was pretty obvious 😆

OP posts:
campertess · 13/08/2024 17:54

Why would you moan about being advised by your partner to eat healthy but then moan that he eats cream cakes for lunch? Pot and kettle. It just seems odd that you are fuming.

dreamer24 · 13/08/2024 17:51

You wouldn’t notice your partner eating a Greggs cream cake, or the fact that they’re overweight? Do you walk around with your eyes closed?

🤣

OP posts:
dreamer24 · 13/08/2024 17:50

campertess · 13/08/2024 17:04

I think the whole conversation should be binned. I think you have a problem because you obviously notice what he eats and also the fact that he is overweight. Get a life.

Thank you for this constructive somewhat aggressive advice 🤣 I shall endeavour to "get a life" 🥱😂🤣😂

OP posts:
campertess · 13/08/2024 17:41

ItsAlrightDarling · 13/08/2024 17:09

You wouldn’t notice your partner eating a Greggs cream cake, or the fact that they’re overweight? Do you walk around with your eyes closed?

I'm not the one moaning about my partner. What an ignorant horrible way you talk to people. You should just keep your mouth shut.

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 13/08/2024 17:33

Eyesopenwideawake · 13/08/2024 17:03

I lug around bales of hay and wheelbarrows full of manure in 40+c without the need for a salt lick! Top tip; soak your teeshirt in cold water, wring it out a bit and hey presto - instant cool 😎

That’s what we’ve done when going to bed when it’s been hotter. Dries quick enough so the bed doesn’t really get wet either

ItsAlrightDarling · 13/08/2024 17:09

campertess · 13/08/2024 17:04

I think the whole conversation should be binned. I think you have a problem because you obviously notice what he eats and also the fact that he is overweight. Get a life.

You wouldn’t notice your partner eating a Greggs cream cake, or the fact that they’re overweight? Do you walk around with your eyes closed?

cansu · 13/08/2024 17:08

Just reply yes we should all eat healthily.

campertess · 13/08/2024 17:04

I think the whole conversation should be binned. I think you have a problem because you obviously notice what he eats and also the fact that he is overweight. Get a life.

Eyesopenwideawake · 13/08/2024 17:03

I lug around bales of hay and wheelbarrows full of manure in 40+c without the need for a salt lick! Top tip; soak your teeshirt in cold water, wring it out a bit and hey presto - instant cool 😎

dreamer24 · 13/08/2024 16:32

@Eyesopenwideawake
23 degrees is "nicely warm" when you're sitting in it, yes. Not so nice or warm when you're running your fastest pace in it for 3 miles. That does tend to make it feel somewhat hotter 😂

OP posts:
MusicMakesItAllBetter · 13/08/2024 16:20

Eyesopenwideawake · 12/08/2024 22:19

23c is nicely warm. It's not the Sahara.

Not for everyone it’s not.
Some of us find it difficult to function in heat above 20c.

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 13/08/2024 16:19

My SO has passed comment on my eating habit in the past. Usually if I’ve said I’m making a conscious effort to eat better.
I have told him off for doing this also and told him I’ll eat what the fuck I like when I like.

So something along the lines of, I’m getting a small fries, I need the salt. It’s not like I’m eating a cream cake because I need the calories. And if he says anything tell him, it’s just (insert swear word perhaps) small fries!!!!

And don’t tell him you got a large 🙂

Or say I’ll thank you not to make comments like that as I really don’t appreciate it.

Or kick him in the shin?

BogRollBOGOF · 13/08/2024 01:07

I may have been known to think "fuck this" and abruptly finish a run at a chip shop after 12 miles.

I definitely took a bag of salt & vinegar crisps on my marathon though. I was feeling slightly jaded at mile 14, and that salty starch really pepped me up. I'm rather partial to a mile 7 crisps and coke when doing long runs in HM training.

Exercise has so many benefits that are worthwhile in their own right, even if the calories are pretty much eaten back. I can well understand the craving for easily digestable salt and starch after pushing yourself running.

I often take little 150ml bottles to parkrun or on runs in warm weather as it's nice to wet your mouth while running even when I did my main hydrating beforehand.

If you know that you have a pattern of feeling lousy at certain times/ weather, it's worth tweaking your food/ drink to better balance that in advance. I like full-sugar fruit squash before running, and ear something light and salty about an hour before major sweat-fest sessions.

Having some post-run McFries is nothing worth getting in a tizz about, and it's daft that OP got unsolicited "advice" from her clueless OH.

I'm off to sniff a carrot to fuel me for my next run 😁

Eyesopenwideawake · 12/08/2024 22:19

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:59

Sorry I definitely needed water running in 23 degrees - I think it's madness to suggest otherwise. Do people genuinely not sweat running in that heat for 3 miles? 😳

23c is nicely warm. It's not the Sahara.

NoDought · 12/08/2024 22:17

Was he not just bored of the tedious running commentary about your post run drinks and snacks whilst he was busy at soft play?

Danfromdownunder · 12/08/2024 22:17

Sounds like a massive carry on about a very short jog. He was probably sick of hearing about your every move.

Codlingmoths · 12/08/2024 22:12

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:59

Sorry I definitely needed water running in 23 degrees - I think it's madness to suggest otherwise. Do people genuinely not sweat running in that heat for 3 miles? 😳

many many people don’t even call 23 degrees hot, much less think running in it it needs a recovery plan?

SillyOldBucket · 12/08/2024 22:12

I think it was just a flippant statement, nothing deep so I wouldn't dwell on it.'

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