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Partner telling me to eat healthily- fuming

511 replies

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:29

I went for a run today. It's 23 degrees where I am, it's hot and it's not the best weather for running. I managed 3.2 miles but then had to stop as I'd ran out of water and what little water I had left in my bottle was warm given the heat.

I texted my partner when I'd finished (he was at a soft play with our toddler) to say I'd struggled but managed 3 miles, and that I felt a little dizzy and was craving water and salt (presumably because I'd sweated so much I'd lost a lot of salt). I said I might drive past McDonalds on the way home to grab some chips (just chips, nothing else) as I needed to replace the salt. He replied, "you need to eat healthily".

So... I saw red. This is a man who is overweight and who I watched sit on the sofa at lunch time and eat a Greggs cream cake. I didn't do this - I had a half a sandwich and a banana then went for a run. This is, by the way, my 3rd run of this week and I also plan to go to the gym tomorrow morning to do a weights class.

For context, I am a size 10 (BMI is 22.5 ish). So I am not even overweight but I want to tone up a bit and to get back my pre baby level of fitness, hence making this effort

Am I right to feel really annoyed by what feels like judgement for what I've chosen to eat post run, when I'm making an effort here and he is not? If he was the picture of health and fitness then maybe I'd accept that comment a bit more but ... seriously?! You eat a cake for lunch then tell me, post 3 mile run, to "eat healthily" 😵‍💫

Or am I overreacting or am I right to feel annoyed at this judgement? 🤔

OP posts:
dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:43

@Mrsttcno1
That's really useful advice thank you. I do not think he knows this at all - he just took his opportunity to mansplain 🙄

But thank you, that's interesting and helpful x

OP posts:
Changingplace · 11/08/2024 16:41

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:36

@Crunchymum
No I'm not a weight bore. I don't talk about it constantly. As I said, I'm not even technically overweight. It's mostly to increase my fitness.

And no he's not controlling about what I eat, it was just in general conversation, telling him I was craving salt so I might pass McDonald's and grab some chips. This is normal conversation for us. But his reply was just like wtf!? It's almost as though he felt the need to mansplain healthy eating to me. Which is embarrassing for a man who ate a cream cake for his lunch isn't it.

He didn’t go for a run then eat a cream cake for lunch though? It doesn’t sound like he was mansplaining, just confused by the run & chips choice.

Mrsttcno1 · 11/08/2024 16:39

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:37

@Mrsttcno1
It's not usually a huge amount that I lose I agree. But in 23 degrees when I'm pushing the pace, I did sweat a lot more than I would typically for this distance.

Yeah you will have lost more than usual. Even so, just eating more salt will make you worse not better. Electrolytes and a healthy meal with plenty of protein will help you replenish anything you have lost.

That’s why I’m saying if he knows that, it’s not bad advice. The best thing you can do after a run is refuel properly, so just eating extra salt will not help x

mynameiscalypso · 11/08/2024 16:39

I would also be quite confused if someone had run a pretty short run and then went for chips after it.

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:37

@Mrsttcno1
It's not usually a huge amount that I lose I agree. But in 23 degrees when I'm pushing the pace, I did sweat a lot more than I would typically for this distance.

OP posts:
dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:36

@Crunchymum
No I'm not a weight bore. I don't talk about it constantly. As I said, I'm not even technically overweight. It's mostly to increase my fitness.

And no he's not controlling about what I eat, it was just in general conversation, telling him I was craving salt so I might pass McDonald's and grab some chips. This is normal conversation for us. But his reply was just like wtf!? It's almost as though he felt the need to mansplain healthy eating to me. Which is embarrassing for a man who ate a cream cake for his lunch isn't it.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 11/08/2024 16:36

I think it depends how it was said, and if he understands/has the knowledge to be giving this as genuine advice or if it was just intended as a snarky comment/dig.

As an aside, I’m also a runner and eating extra salt after a run isn’t the way to go! The amount you lose after a 3 mile run isn’t huge, but in general after running you need to replenish electrolytes, not just salt. Eating extra salt just causes water retention and stops your body from regulating properly. You need to eat a healthy meal with a good amount of protein and have an electrolyte drink to fuel you after a run x

Changingplace · 11/08/2024 16:35

He’s a cheeky bastard but tbh I’d also raise an eyebrow at someone going for a run then stopping for chips on the way home, I wouldn’t say ‘you need to eat healthier’ but I’d think ‘I thought you were being healthier’ and be somewhat confused by that choice.

LaraThot · 11/08/2024 16:34

If he's trying to support you to lose weight/get fit then he's right that going to McDonalds isn't a good idea. It makes no difference if he's overweight. Also everyone reading this knows the "need to replace salts" so needed chips is a complete BS excuse.

Crunchymum · 11/08/2024 16:33

Depends.

If you've become a bit if a "weight bore" (IE it's all you talk about / takes up a lot of your time and energy / MacD is something you'll regret and complain about later) then maybe he's sick of it?

If its unsolicited advice then I'd be having words.

As an aside surely as a runner you pack enough supplies?

And why on Earth do you need to tell your partner you are off to MacD ("but only for chips"). Is he controlling about your weight or are you obsessive about it? Seems somewhat odd? Like you've really had to justify why you are going to MacD for chips?

BCBird · 11/08/2024 16:32

CF

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