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Partner telling me to eat healthily- fuming

511 replies

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:29

I went for a run today. It's 23 degrees where I am, it's hot and it's not the best weather for running. I managed 3.2 miles but then had to stop as I'd ran out of water and what little water I had left in my bottle was warm given the heat.

I texted my partner when I'd finished (he was at a soft play with our toddler) to say I'd struggled but managed 3 miles, and that I felt a little dizzy and was craving water and salt (presumably because I'd sweated so much I'd lost a lot of salt). I said I might drive past McDonalds on the way home to grab some chips (just chips, nothing else) as I needed to replace the salt. He replied, "you need to eat healthily".

So... I saw red. This is a man who is overweight and who I watched sit on the sofa at lunch time and eat a Greggs cream cake. I didn't do this - I had a half a sandwich and a banana then went for a run. This is, by the way, my 3rd run of this week and I also plan to go to the gym tomorrow morning to do a weights class.

For context, I am a size 10 (BMI is 22.5 ish). So I am not even overweight but I want to tone up a bit and to get back my pre baby level of fitness, hence making this effort

Am I right to feel really annoyed by what feels like judgement for what I've chosen to eat post run, when I'm making an effort here and he is not? If he was the picture of health and fitness then maybe I'd accept that comment a bit more but ... seriously?! You eat a cake for lunch then tell me, post 3 mile run, to "eat healthily" 😵‍💫

Or am I overreacting or am I right to feel annoyed at this judgement? 🤔

OP posts:
AgathaSultana · 11/08/2024 16:56

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:29

I went for a run today. It's 23 degrees where I am, it's hot and it's not the best weather for running. I managed 3.2 miles but then had to stop as I'd ran out of water and what little water I had left in my bottle was warm given the heat.

I texted my partner when I'd finished (he was at a soft play with our toddler) to say I'd struggled but managed 3 miles, and that I felt a little dizzy and was craving water and salt (presumably because I'd sweated so much I'd lost a lot of salt). I said I might drive past McDonalds on the way home to grab some chips (just chips, nothing else) as I needed to replace the salt. He replied, "you need to eat healthily".

So... I saw red. This is a man who is overweight and who I watched sit on the sofa at lunch time and eat a Greggs cream cake. I didn't do this - I had a half a sandwich and a banana then went for a run. This is, by the way, my 3rd run of this week and I also plan to go to the gym tomorrow morning to do a weights class.

For context, I am a size 10 (BMI is 22.5 ish). So I am not even overweight but I want to tone up a bit and to get back my pre baby level of fitness, hence making this effort

Am I right to feel really annoyed by what feels like judgement for what I've chosen to eat post run, when I'm making an effort here and he is not? If he was the picture of health and fitness then maybe I'd accept that comment a bit more but ... seriously?! You eat a cake for lunch then tell me, post 3 mile run, to "eat healthily" 😵‍💫

Or am I overreacting or am I right to feel annoyed at this judgement? 🤔

I'd tell him you ended up having 2 big mac meals, chicken nuggets and then a massive cream cake and you're feeling loads better

bunnypenny · 11/08/2024 16:56

Mansplaining doesn’t mean what you think it does.

LoveSandbanks · 11/08/2024 16:55

I promise you, you do not need to replace the salt from a 3 mile run in 23 degree heat. I don't even take water on a run of that length.

Having said that, running, keeps you fit and is completely irrelevant to diet. 3 miles probably uses around 250 - 300 calories which is negligible.

Ponkpinkpink15 · 11/08/2024 16:54

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:49

Chips only - not a full meal. I was craving salt as I've explained

@dreamer24

but hopefully you'll take on board that marries are not helping. You need electrolytes not cheap table sat in greasy fries.

eat them if you want to, but don't convince yourself your body needs them.

He ate a cream cake, Did he really stuff it in his face? Just because he's overweight, doesn't mean he can't see running then shovelling fries into your face isn't a smart move.

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:54

Snowflakes1122 · 11/08/2024 16:53

When I’ve been on a diet, I’ve actually asked my DH to pull me up if I am about to eat junk. Could he be trying to help you?

If not, he is just a cheeky sod. Two him to get stuffed (with his cream
cake of course) if it’s the latter.

I haven't asked him to do this. If I had it would make more sense of course.

OP posts:
Dulra · 11/08/2024 16:54

You would have been better off going for no run then going for a run and needing chips after. Never heard of the need to replace salt like that. Get home drink water and have a banana you don't need the chips

As for what your partner said he probably doesn't understand the logic either

Snowflakes1122 · 11/08/2024 16:53

When I’ve been on a diet, I’ve actually asked my DH to pull me up if I am about to eat junk. Could he be trying to help you?

If not, he is just a cheeky sod. Two him to get stuffed (with his cream
cake of course) if it’s the latter.

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:53

@BananaSpanner it's not remotely funny to me?

OP posts:
theduchessofspork · 11/08/2024 16:53

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:49

Chips only - not a full meal. I was craving salt as I've explained

You are being a bit defensive about this OP! Chill out.

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:53

@Chakademusandpliers
I expected him to say "ok" or "cool see you at home" or whatever. Like when he text me to say "we're at the soft play now", just before I started my run, I replied "ok, have fun". Like that would have been fine. Obviously it's the implied criticism and judgement I'm objecting to, it was unnecessary.

OP posts:
dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:52

@SaltAndVinegar2
I do eat healthily most of the time, he knows this. Last night for instance I cooked us a chicken and vegetable meal from scratch. Like a portion of chips from McDonald's is surely not going to mean I wake up obese when my BMI is 22 😂

OP posts:
theduchessofspork · 11/08/2024 16:51

If it’s just a one off comment I wouldn’t dwell on it. I’m presuming he meant ‘you’ve been for a run,why undo the good work?’

Of course that’s for you to decide, but just mentioning it seems fine to me - it wouldn’t be fine if he did it all the time.

BananaSpanner · 11/08/2024 16:51

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:49

Chips only - not a full meal. I was craving salt as I've explained

It’s still quite funny. Cmon OP lighten up a bit.

Chakademusandpliers · 11/08/2024 16:50

SauviGone · 11/08/2024 16:47

Oh come on!!

“I’ve been for a run so I need some McDonald chips to replace the salt” 😂

I would take the piss out of my DH for the rest of the day if he did this 🤣

Yes, this. You texted him so what did you expect him to say. Oh that sounds great btw nobody just goes to McDonalds for cardboard fries.

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:50

Turnitoffnonagain · 11/08/2024 16:48

I wouldn't have thought to tell him about going to get chips. You're an adult and don't need to run this past him/get his approval. I don't suppose he asked you if you thought he should eat a cake did he?
This is like the relationship version of micro management. Just do you. Don't invite his opinion on it.

It's very normal for us to text each other things like this. Nothing to do with approval. Just telling each other what our plans are etc, pretty normal in our relationship.

OP posts:
dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:49

Notimeforaname · 11/08/2024 16:45

Personally, I would laugh if my partner said he went for a run and got McDonalds on the way home 🤣

Chips only - not a full meal. I was craving salt as I've explained

OP posts:
SaltAndVinegar2 · 11/08/2024 16:48

Surely the whole point of exercise is so you can eat more? If I know I'm going for a big greasy meal I always try to do a load of exercise before hand. I mean when is a good time for McDonald's - after sitting on the sofa all day?

Having said that, 3 miles is short, I wouldn't even take water on a run of that length. If you want maccies then fine but the replacing salt thing is a bit of a misunderstanding

If you had done a long run perhaps eating healthily afterwards would be more important but I'm sure you eat healthily most of the time.

Mrsttcno1 · 11/08/2024 16:48

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:43

@Mrsttcno1
That's really useful advice thank you. I do not think he knows this at all - he just took his opportunity to mansplain 🙄

But thank you, that's interesting and helpful x

It’s definitely worth remembering. I run marathons although had to take a break due to pregnancy and now building back up as my baby is 4 months old. Especially once you are covering longer distances it’s so important to refuel property and also fuel mid run when going for longer with gels etc!

Also for the water- get a running vest with a water bladder in the back. Freeze the water in the vest overnight. That way when you’re running in the heat it melts fairly quickly but is cool for much longer x

Turnitoffnonagain · 11/08/2024 16:48

I wouldn't have thought to tell him about going to get chips. You're an adult and don't need to run this past him/get his approval. I don't suppose he asked you if you thought he should eat a cake did he?
This is like the relationship version of micro management. Just do you. Don't invite his opinion on it.

SauviGone · 11/08/2024 16:47

Oh come on!!

“I’ve been for a run so I need some McDonald chips to replace the salt” 😂

I would take the piss out of my DH for the rest of the day if he did this 🤣

Notimeforaname · 11/08/2024 16:46

Just like I didn't comment on him stuffing a cream cake in his face at lunch time - up to him isn't it? So whys he commenting on my food choices?

Well you did purposely text him to tell him what you were planning to do, so he replied to it. You didn't like his reply. Maybe dont give him the space to comment if you dont want to hear it.

coloursquare · 11/08/2024 16:45

I would comment on that. Nothing to do with weight - I just think salty chips when you're dehydrated after a run on a hot day is a bad idea!

Notimeforaname · 11/08/2024 16:45

Personally, I would laugh if my partner said he went for a run and got McDonalds on the way home 🤣

BananaSpanner · 11/08/2024 16:44

A run followed by McDonalds is pretty unusual and many partners would comment on it.
I don’t see why you couldn’t reply with a light comment re him having a cheek given his lack of activity and love of cakes and leave it at that.

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:44

@Changingplace
It's my choice though isn't it? Nothing to do with him. Just like I didn't comment on him stuffing a cream cake in his face at lunch time - up to him isn't it? So whys he commenting on my food choices? 🤔

OP posts:
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