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Original poster

Partner telling me to eat healthily- fuming

511 replies

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:29

I went for a run today. It's 23 degrees where I am, it's hot and it's not the best weather for running. I managed 3.2 miles but then had to stop as I'd ran out of water and what little water I had left in my bottle was warm given the heat.

I texted my partner when I'd finished (he was at a soft play with our toddler) to say I'd struggled but managed 3 miles, and that I felt a little dizzy and was craving water and salt (presumably because I'd sweated so much I'd lost a lot of salt). I said I might drive past McDonalds on the way home to grab some chips (just chips, nothing else) as I needed to replace the salt. He replied, "you need to eat healthily".

So... I saw red. This is a man who is overweight and who I watched sit on the sofa at lunch time and eat a Greggs cream cake. I didn't do this - I had a half a sandwich and a banana then went for a run. This is, by the way, my 3rd run of this week and I also plan to go to the gym tomorrow morning to do a weights class.

For context, I am a size 10 (BMI is 22.5 ish). So I am not even overweight but I want to tone up a bit and to get back my pre baby level of fitness, hence making this effort

Am I right to feel really annoyed by what feels like judgement for what I've chosen to eat post run, when I'm making an effort here and he is not? If he was the picture of health and fitness then maybe I'd accept that comment a bit more but ... seriously?! You eat a cake for lunch then tell me, post 3 mile run, to "eat healthily" 😵‍💫

Or am I overreacting or am I right to feel annoyed at this judgement? 🤔

OP posts:
Original poster
dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 17:17

SoOriginal · 11/08/2024 17:16

YANBU. Lots of fools seem to think you have to be all or nothing, that’s why many fail and end up overweight and inactive. You went for a run today and had a salty snack.. surely better than eating a cream cake and sitting on your lazy arse!?!

Ill never fathom why people can’t understand life is a balance.

THANK YOU

OP posts:
LoveSandbanks · 11/08/2024 17:17

Ponkpinkpink15 · 11/08/2024 17:06

@RumbleHoney

was there a typo in your OP? Did you run 30 miles?

Show quote history

Absolutely no need to say that out loud!

piccolorhinoceros · 11/08/2024 17:17

Moveoverdarlin · 11/08/2024 17:06

Give him a break. Going for a 3 mile run in this heat and then stopping for chips in McDonalds does seem counterintuitive. Most people would comment. Running is synonymous with a healthy lifestyle. McDonald’s is synonymous with an unhealthy lifestyle, it’s a great example of juxtaposition I suppose.

Like someone saying I’m going to my AA meeting tonight, then meeting Jenny in the pub for a glass of wine. That’s why he commented, he’s not saying you’re fat, or being controlling. It’s just a weird thing to do. Absolutely fine to do, you go for it, few chips won’t do you any harm, but yeah I can see why he said that.

It's not like that at all, and comparing a snack to an addiction is actually pretty offensive.

I did a run on the treadmill then got a chippy the other night. Shock horror. The thing is, that if running becomes part of your lifestyle and you do it regularly (as is the goal for most of us), chances are at some point it'll coincide with a day of less than ideal other choices. Depriving yourself of things because you're running sounds dangerously like orthorexia to me. A balance is much more sustainable.

Original poster
dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 17:17

@Changingplace not support about the chips ffs. Support when I said, "I really struggled on that run"

OP posts:
theduchessofspork · 11/08/2024 17:17

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 17:04

@Catza
I'm finding it so offensive because I've ran 3 times this week which he knows, for me, has take a lot. I don't usually do that. I'm making a real effort and he knows that. I also texted to say I'd struggled on the run and found it hard. There was no empathy for that - just a criticism of what I planned to eat. It would have been nicer to have a bit more of a supportive reply I suppose? Like, well done, at least you got out and tried, or whatever. Instead it felt like criticism on top of me already making what feels like a huge effort this week.

Well then this is a different issue.

People aren’t taking you very seriously because eating chips after a run is quite funny (not bad - just ripe for a lighten hearted piss take), you husband didn’t say anything mean, so you are coming across as humourless and touchy.

If the problem is that you are making a big effort to get fit and want his support, then it would be better to post about that.

Have you asked him for support? What kind would you like? Is he generally unsupportive of your goals? All these questions spring to mind.

Changingplace · 11/08/2024 17:16

Anyone else just craving McDonald’s chips now? Haven’t even been on a run 🤣

SoOriginal · 11/08/2024 17:16

YANBU. Lots of fools seem to think you have to be all or nothing, that’s why many fail and end up overweight and inactive. You went for a run today and had a salty snack.. surely better than eating a cream cake and sitting on your lazy arse!?!

Ill never fathom why people can’t understand life is a balance.

Maia77 · 11/08/2024 17:16

I wonder what was the intent behind that comment. I doubt it was genuinely well-meaning. It could have been a put-down, more likely. Maybe he is jealous of you trying to get fitter.

Changingplace · 11/08/2024 17:16

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 17:12

@Changingplace
Where did I say I wanted praise?? I said I wanted support and a neutral "ok" or similar. That would have sufficed. Anything other than blatant criticism, basically.

You wanted a ‘supportive reply’ that’s similar to praise, if you want your running to be supported then don’t eat chips on the way home 🤣

Original poster
dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 17:15

@Prawncow
I didn't know milk was good post run - thanks for the tip. I can manage milk as long as it's really cold.

OP posts:
MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 11/08/2024 17:15

Your replies are a bit chippy OP

Prawncow · 11/08/2024 17:14

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 17:05

Well it's all relative isn't it. If you're a marathon runner, 3 miles is nothing. If you're only just building your fitness back up after a pregnancy all but destroyed it, and you're really struggling, and you weren't the strongest, fastest runner to begin with, then 3 miles x 3 in one week feels like a lot. Especially in 20 plus degrees.

Show quote history

Running is about listening to how your body feels. You could run 7k a day, everyday, and still feel woozy one day after running for 10 minutes. Feeling ‘off’ on a run is often the first sign for me that I’m coming down with something.

Some people tolerate heat better than others. Some need more fluids than others.

If you’re feeling rough after running and you can tolerate milk, it’s actually really good for rehydration.

butterpuffed · 11/08/2024 17:13

I don't know why you were fuming when your partner said what he did , but don't mind when most PPs are saying the same in here .

Original poster
dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 17:13

godmum56 · 11/08/2024 17:12

To me it sounds like the sort of comment that comes from a place of "oh she's expecting a comment and I really do not care what she's doing" Now that doesn't say anything great about your relationship either.....I mean is he generally a nice loving partner in which case either ignore it or offer to bring him chips or he generally annoys the heck out of you in which case dump him. Your post does sound defensive...."Only chips, needed the salt, third run of the week" I mean WHO CARES?

You apparently cared enough to comment.

OP posts:
BananaSpanner · 11/08/2024 17:13

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 17:11

I honestly wanted to 😂

Show quote history

Why didn’t you? You should have. That would have been totally normal, a bit of a piss take back, a light hearted exchange that made your point. No high drama and offence.

Original poster
dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 17:12

Megifer · 11/08/2024 17:11

"Like someone saying I’m going to my AA meeting tonight, then meeting Jenny in the pub for a glass of wine"

Did I miss op updating to confirm she had an addiction to chips?

😂😂😂

OP posts:
godmum56 · 11/08/2024 17:12

To me it sounds like the sort of comment that comes from a place of "oh she's expecting a comment and I really do not care what she's doing" Now that doesn't say anything great about your relationship either.....I mean is he generally a nice loving partner in which case either ignore it or offer to bring him chips or he generally annoys the heck out of you in which case dump him. Your post does sound defensive...."Only chips, needed the salt, third run of the week" I mean WHO CARES?

Original poster
dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 17:12

@Changingplace
Where did I say I wanted praise?? I said I wanted support and a neutral "ok" or similar. That would have sufficed. Anything other than blatant criticism, basically.

OP posts:
Original poster
dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 17:11

Purplecrush · 11/08/2024 17:10

I'd be texting back "pot telling kettle"🙄.

Edited

I honestly wanted to 😂

OP posts:
Megifer · 11/08/2024 17:11

"Like someone saying I’m going to my AA meeting tonight, then meeting Jenny in the pub for a glass of wine"

Did I miss op updating to confirm she had an addiction to chips?

Changingplace · 11/08/2024 17:11

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 17:04

@Catza
I'm finding it so offensive because I've ran 3 times this week which he knows, for me, has take a lot. I don't usually do that. I'm making a real effort and he knows that. I also texted to say I'd struggled on the run and found it hard. There was no empathy for that - just a criticism of what I planned to eat. It would have been nicer to have a bit more of a supportive reply I suppose? Like, well done, at least you got out and tried, or whatever. Instead it felt like criticism on top of me already making what feels like a huge effort this week.

There’s no point making an effort to go for a run if you’re eating chips on your way home though, why should he praise you for making such an odd/funny choice 🤣

I’d literally think it was a joke if anyone I knew said they’d done this, it’s not exactly criticism to point out it’s a silly thing to do in the same breath as saying you’ve made a huge effort to be healthy this week.

mynameiscalypso · 11/08/2024 17:11

@dreamer24 Sorry, I didn't mean to offend - I've been there post-pregnancy! And I am by no means a marathon runner at all, I could have just run a half-marathon at my fittest. And like I said, a 3 mile run is great. I likely need a knee replacement so can't hobble that now! And I'm sorry you didn't feel well but it is true that I never would have to about about fuelling/taking water for that distance because I never felt it was needed and that seems to be the same as most people I've run with over the years.

Hectorscalling · 11/08/2024 17:11

I think it kind of comes across as though you wanted fries and was making up a healthy reason to get them. Just eat the fries.

probably not the best way to replace the salts from sweating to be honest. But if you want the fries just get them.

Purplecrush · 11/08/2024 17:10

I'd be texting back "pot telling kettle"🙄.

GreyCarpet · 11/08/2024 17:09

Moveoverdarlin · 11/08/2024 17:06

Give him a break. Going for a 3 mile run in this heat and then stopping for chips in McDonalds does seem counterintuitive. Most people would comment. Running is synonymous with a healthy lifestyle. McDonald’s is synonymous with an unhealthy lifestyle, it’s a great example of juxtaposition I suppose.

Like someone saying I’m going to my AA meeting tonight, then meeting Jenny in the pub for a glass of wine. That’s why he commented, he’s not saying you’re fat, or being controlling. It’s just a weird thing to do. Absolutely fine to do, you go for it, few chips won’t do you any harm, but yeah I can see why he said that.

Totally agree.