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Partner telling me to eat healthily- fuming

511 replies

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 16:29

I went for a run today. It's 23 degrees where I am, it's hot and it's not the best weather for running. I managed 3.2 miles but then had to stop as I'd ran out of water and what little water I had left in my bottle was warm given the heat.

I texted my partner when I'd finished (he was at a soft play with our toddler) to say I'd struggled but managed 3 miles, and that I felt a little dizzy and was craving water and salt (presumably because I'd sweated so much I'd lost a lot of salt). I said I might drive past McDonalds on the way home to grab some chips (just chips, nothing else) as I needed to replace the salt. He replied, "you need to eat healthily".

So... I saw red. This is a man who is overweight and who I watched sit on the sofa at lunch time and eat a Greggs cream cake. I didn't do this - I had a half a sandwich and a banana then went for a run. This is, by the way, my 3rd run of this week and I also plan to go to the gym tomorrow morning to do a weights class.

For context, I am a size 10 (BMI is 22.5 ish). So I am not even overweight but I want to tone up a bit and to get back my pre baby level of fitness, hence making this effort

Am I right to feel really annoyed by what feels like judgement for what I've chosen to eat post run, when I'm making an effort here and he is not? If he was the picture of health and fitness then maybe I'd accept that comment a bit more but ... seriously?! You eat a cake for lunch then tell me, post 3 mile run, to "eat healthily" 😵‍💫

Or am I overreacting or am I right to feel annoyed at this judgement? 🤔

OP posts:
Didimum · 11/08/2024 18:53

My partner (who never ever exercised and ate pizzas like they were on a conveyer belt) did this once when I’d finished a half marathon and gobbled up a baguette and chips afterwards. I told him to categorically piss off and it’s never happened again.

Diyextension · 11/08/2024 18:53

Ive done plenty of exercise in my life ,but never have a craved salt afterwards??? Is this really a thing

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 18:53

BetteLaSwet · 11/08/2024 18:48

Curious to know what your kid had for Sunday lunch, if her dad had a cream cake and mum had maccy D chips.

Don't tell me - quinoa, grilled chicken breast and a crisp fresh salad? 😂

DP got her chicken nuggets at the soft play.

OP posts:
Greenbananasoup · 11/08/2024 18:53

I exercise so I can eat more 😆 that comment would have annoyed me too!

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 18:52

Whale80ne · 11/08/2024 18:12

dreamer24 do you make it clear to him that your exercise is a morally superior activity that he needs to be unquestioningly 110% supportive of by taking on extra childcare?

I only ask because everyone is focusing on the whole health aspect but you are keen to let us know that he's overweight, makes poor food choices and doesn't exercise and that your BMI is 22 and you exercise multiple times per week and cook chicken and vegetables.

I wonder whether perhaps he's a bit pissed off at you being a bit "holier than thou" about your exercise and weight compared to his, whilst expecting him to do extra childcare to support you going the extra mile to look after yourself. If so I can imagine the little snarky remark being a symptom of being pissed off and having held his tongue until now.

This is more often the scenario with dads thinking going to the gym or out cycling for two hours six times per week is sacred and their overweight wife shouldn't say a word about the extra solo childcare, but I'm sure it happens the other way around occasionally...

Oh wow. You are WAY off the mark here. Way, way off. He encourages me to run. He tells me I need more time to myself as I never do anything for me these days. I work, look after a child and a home, and I occasionally (rarely) run for 30-40 mins tops, around 1-2 times a month usually. As I said in my OP, I've made a conscious effort this week to step it up a bit and DP has encouraged and supported this.

I assure you he is not taking on "extra childcare" - if you knew our usual set up you'd realise how laughable that is. By far, I do the most childcare due to a combination of his job and his social life. He goes on many an evening out that I do not. A couple of runs here and there while he takes his child to a soft play are not causing some inequality in the childcare load, of that I can assure you.

OP posts:
mrlistersgelfbride · 11/08/2024 18:51

Well done on your run.

I'm a regular runner and you don't burn as much off as you think.
3.2 miles is about 320 calories and a McDonald's portion of fries is more than that. You don't need to replace salt on a hot day after do doing 3 miles.
I think he's a bit cheeky but may have a point it you are trying to loose weight.

BetteLaSwet · 11/08/2024 18:48

Curious to know what your kid had for Sunday lunch, if her dad had a cream cake and mum had maccy D chips.

Don't tell me - quinoa, grilled chicken breast and a crisp fresh salad? 😂

Notsuchafattynow · 11/08/2024 18:47

I was thinking electrolytes, not maccys chips!

You are being super defensive as your DH called you out on a bs idea.

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 18:46

My thinking re the chips was - I need a source of salt and I need to get it quickly on route home without getting my messy sweaty self out of the car and mixing with the public whilst smelling and looking questionable 😂 Hence why I ruled out popping into the Co Op for a bag of pistachios - which equally would have done the trick!

OP posts:
dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 18:44

Stravaig · 11/08/2024 18:30

Tangent — If I ended up sweating and dizzy and my brain was screaming salt now! my immediate instinct would be to lick my skin. No idea if that has any measurable effect!

😂😂

OP posts:
dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 18:43

I think the salt craving was probably a combination of not having adequately fuelled pre-run - half a sandwich and a banana a few hours prior was probably not sufficient - and the fact it was much hotter than I'm used to running in. I assume that my body was sort of asking for what it needed as I'd not put the right stuff in prior? But I'm not a scientist so happy to be corrected.

OP posts:
MangoMadness999 · 11/08/2024 18:43

Notimeforaname · 11/08/2024 16:45

Personally, I would laugh if my partner said he went for a run and got McDonalds on the way home 🤣

The only time you'll see me running is towards a McDonald's. Don't have time for piousness.

adviceneeded1990 · 11/08/2024 18:41

SauviGone · 11/08/2024 16:47

Oh come on!!

“I’ve been for a run so I need some McDonald chips to replace the salt” 😂

I would take the piss out of my DH for the rest of the day if he did this 🤣

Same here but in reality it’s something I’d be more likely to do 😂 DH would also take the piss out of me!

@dreamer24 tell him it’s better than going for chips without the run 😅

dreamer24 · 11/08/2024 18:41

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 11/08/2024 18:39

Surely your reply would just be

'are you kidding Mr cream cake for lunch?!'

I definitely missed a trick here, should have said this 😂

OP posts:
shuggles · 11/08/2024 18:40

@dreamer24 I think it's fine to gently criticise someone's food choices if that person is visibly overweight and they should be pushed a bit more in the right direction, but your post is clear that you are athletic and in shape (BMI of 22.5 is excellent) so criticism of a one-off choice of McDonalds chips is a bit ridiculous. If I had been in that position, I would have said "fuck off."

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 11/08/2024 18:39

Surely your reply would just be

'are you kidding Mr cream cake for lunch?!'

TheOnlyCherryOnMyTree · 11/08/2024 18:38

CuntRYMusicStar · 11/08/2024 18:31

@piccolorhinoceros not a medical secretary 🤣 but not arguing with random internet people. If you truly think that McDonalds fries are the best thing for op to consume when she is feeling dizzy after a run then that's fine. I don't think it will do her any harm as a one off.

My Consultant has told me to eat more salt/salt my food to try and help with my dizziness. I don't know why people are acting like chips after a run is such a crazy thing.

PermanentlyFullLaundryBasket · 11/08/2024 18:35

LoveSandbanks · 11/08/2024 16:55

I promise you, you do not need to replace the salt from a 3 mile run in 23 degree heat. I don't even take water on a run of that length.

Having said that, running, keeps you fit and is completely irrelevant to diet. 3 miles probably uses around 250 - 300 calories which is negligible.

This.
I don't carry water unless I am doing more than about 6 miles/10km. 3 miles/5km, even at a very slow plod when I first started running in my late 40s was no more than about 40 minutes.

I have never 'craved' water or salt after substantially longer distances.

ThisHangryPinkBalonz · 11/08/2024 18:35

SauviGone · 11/08/2024 16:47

Oh come on!!

“I’ve been for a run so I need some McDonald chips to replace the salt” 😂

I would take the piss out of my DH for the rest of the day if he did this 🤣

Me too!😂

Tiredofallthis101 · 11/08/2024 18:33

Maybe being overly generous to him but could he have been worried about uou feeling dizzy and thus suggested uou should eat something healthy instead put of worr

CuntRYMusicStar · 11/08/2024 18:31

@piccolorhinoceros not a medical secretary 🤣 but not arguing with random internet people. If you truly think that McDonalds fries are the best thing for op to consume when she is feeling dizzy after a run then that's fine. I don't think it will do her any harm as a one off.

Stravaig · 11/08/2024 18:30

Tangent — If I ended up sweating and dizzy and my brain was screaming salt now! my immediate instinct would be to lick my skin. No idea if that has any measurable effect!

Sunnysundayicecream · 11/08/2024 18:26

I've just been on holiday in Europe and have been running every other day. I definitely made sure I picked chips at the buffet every night, the salt really helps 😋. I would recommend getting a soft running flask/bottle that you can wear in a bum bag and a spare bottle of water in the car.

chaosmaker · 11/08/2024 18:26

Maybe go for a swim instead in hot weather.... less sweating and sunburn. Agree with the poster that said protein for muscles.

Stravaig · 11/08/2024 18:25

Running straight after lunch, when the heat is strongest, without enough water, or any electrolytes, til you ended up dizzy, then suggesting chips instead of a balanced meal, does sound like you're not planning, prepping, as well informed as you could be.

I think most partners would be making suggestions, with your wellbeing in mind. MN posters too, as you see.

Your (over) reaction reads like maybe you're all not all recovered and rebalanced yet.

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