To think a lot of homes are “soulless” and all people care about is size?

Of course you were, this is MN after all 😂. Home of the superiority complex

Yes, she is making herself out to be superior, but so what? So do vast numbers of posts on threads about screentime and children, AI holidays, breastfeeding, books visible on shelves vs books hidden under beds, SAHM vs WOHM, academic vs other forms of intelligence, ‘cooking from scratch’, marriage, weddings, voting, financial management, dress size, etc etc. It happens. People think you’re wrong all the time, and pride themselves on their superior IQ, marriage, professional achievement, degree class, family size etc.

It is sometimes very apparent on threads that aren’t about friendships why so many Mners really struggle socially.

Surely if they go for a look it is their personality to do that

Not necessarily, if I had my way, my house would look like it belonged to Liberace or a Miami cartel boss. I like gold lions, leopardskin, faux fur, velvet chaise longues etc but my husband is the opposite and prefers clean minimalism so we have found a compromise. Neither of us have the house that accurately reflects our true "personality" because if one of us got our way, the other couldnt stand it 😆

Also, practicality and money is an issue too- my ideal home would look like the Versace mansion and his would look like a huge white box with nothing in it but thats slightly out of our price range at the current time.

We also have teenagers so their preferences are also taken into account in their own rooms.

When you live with other people you have to compromise so that everyone is happy so from that perspective, a home cant be just one person's personality, unless of course, you live alone and have the finances to accommodate everything single you want.

Well, your original post was , 'why are people determined to paint someone with different tastes as boastful/ superior?

The obvious answer is that well, OP is making herself out to be superior. She may be just 'giving her opinion'.but her opinion is that her way is the best and the others are shit.

If you can't see it, there's no other way to explain it.

If she'd said instead 'I like houses like this I rarely see any' that would be well not superior.

BTW a lot of posters have said that the OP's houses sounds like an eyesore and full of rubbish , posters with similar houses have gotten offended soooo it's tit for tat I guess.

Of course. But my point still stands. You need the time, interest and budget to do this. And a lot of people don’t.

The first paragraph contradicts the rest of your post. If it’s someone’s home on line, then you can’t judge if it’s to do with their personality. Surely if they go for a look it is their personality to do that.

the only people who don’t are poor in either money or time.but generally nearly everyone’s home is reflective of them,their personality , be it they love the look they saw on line or lack confidence in design, it’s all their personality,

Well, in the world of a disproportionate number of Mners (the ones who put on their pyjamas when they get home from work, never answer the door, regard the school run or other ordinary social interaction as an ordeal, and hate having visitors), there definitely won’t be welcoming homeowners, either.

I’m wondering whether there’s a correlation between the most ‘housework-focused’ Mners (the ones who squeegee the shower stall while showering and always show up on threads saying they never go up or downstairs without carrying something back to its place) and the most stridently ‘belongings are clutter’ ones.

I think the trend towards minimalism is just reflective of modern life. People are busy. They want something easy to clean, low maintenance. Paint the whole house white or grey, stick the furniture in, done. It's easy. A lot of people are stressed and don't want additional stress and work at home.

I'm a full on maximalist. So much so, I'd define it as a hobby. My house is never "finished". There's always something new to add or improve. (And yes, it takes a lot more cleaning!) But I have the time to dedicate to it. It's something I really enjoy doing. It does also cost money and other people have different priorities for their money.

I couldn't live in a minimalist home, but a minimalist couldn't live in mine! People should live how they want. Every room in my house makes me happy and that's how it should be, regardless of style.

This is yet another thread where posters post about each extreme of the spectrum. It is entirely possible to have a house with personal items like photos, paintings, plants and books on show and not make the place look too cluttered or busy.

The rooms in my house are all painted in pastel colours. Both DH and I need good light to see and don't see well in dim light, so we have colours on the walls that reflect the light to make the room brighter. We also have light coloured curtains.

Love this post! I want my living space to be a place of calm, a haven if you like, for me- it's the small part of the world that is mine. It's not about wanting my personality to be visually seen by everyone who walks through the door. The people that know me and love me already know what my personality and passions are- that doesnt need a visual representation, they already know.

I really dont like "busyness" and to me, that doesnt really indicate anything whatsoever about personality anyway, but rather merely a state of mind. I want my state of mind to be calm and my home reflects that. People have said they feel calm in my house and I take that as a massive compliment!

We're all different. Personally, I hate having loads of "stuff" cluttering the house and love sparse surfaces, walls with just one picture on, neutral colours etc. I have all my stuff put away in cupboards and drawers. It keeps me calm.

As for souvenirs from foreign holidays, I have various small keepsakes which are kept in their own places and pretty much out of the way - we know they're there, we can remember the holidays - we don't need big items cluttering the house.

The OP would hate us. Beige/grey/white walls, grey/beige carpets, grey sofas, clean lines, mostly empty surfaces. Our idea of heaven - calm and peaceful!

Why did you care about other people's homes?

I remember the IKEA campaign from the late 90s/early 2000s “chuck out your chintz”. That for me was a turning point in home interiors - there was a move away from hand me down furniture as everyone could afford new things. And because of house prices, many of us live in smaller homes, so it’s preferable imo to make the most of the space that we do have by extending and reducing all the stuff cluttering up the place. I have a relative with a flat full of objects she has collected over the years. It’s very stressful to visit as there are things precariously piled up, and so much is boxed up never to be seen again as there isn’t the space for it to be displayed. It would be safer and more pleasant with less stuff in, even if that was deemed to be soulless.

I wondered that
And makes it harder to dust.

People make their homes comfortable for them, not for you

My house is full of ikea and stuff we've been given. It would be nice to have an antique chaise longue picked up in a market in Marrakesh but real life isn't like that. Most people's homes reflect their means and are about living, rather than cultivating some kind of aesthetic.

Yes, this.

Great post.

I would have to agree OP. Absolutely boring with no originality but then mine looks like the 70s had one too many ciders and threw up everywhere so I can see it would be too busy for sone.

@WhiteButtonMoon I think that's really sad. Why do you get your way over this? It's his home too but you've decided it all, bar one thing, goes in the loft,? Can't he at least have one room where he can have a selection out? Regardless of if posters personally like or dislike "stuff" I'm surprised you've not had more comments about this.

One thing I have noticed is things aren't original or quirky anymore, and I feel that's because people don't build/renovate to what they want but what they think a generic buyer in thr future will want so everything has become the same

I’ve certainly seen plenty of homes, especially online, that look as though someone is going through the motions of home design, creating a look that is nothing to do with the people who might live there.

But the description you give of a house full of “personality” sounds like it only reflects one kind of personality and way of living. Some people don’t want their home to be a book about their life, they want one that will make them feel calm or envelop them in their favourite colour. Other people are more practical and want something that will give them time for the things they love so prioritise low maintenance. And so on.

These are also reflective of people’s personalities, just not the direct way you’re looking for.

I think it's possible to achieve a bit of both - minimalist but also personalised. My place is pretty uncluttered but the items on display, like cushion covers, art, blankets, even my key bowl and coasters, are meaningful to me in some way - generally a gift or picked up during travels. I don't have a single thing that I just bought from a local interiors shop for the hell of it. But it takes the best part of a lifetime to accumulate a house-worth of things like that and people have to start somewhere!

Hmm, no idea if you’d like my house.
Plenty to look at though that reflect my travels.

There’s my Florida room, with a big wall mural of saw palmetto and Spanish moss. Furniture is green. My lamps are alligator heads. I have little lizards on the walls and red glass cardinals on the bookcase.

Another room is full of shelves of my beautiful collectible Disney dolls and other Disney collectibles; glass slippers; crystal wands; beautifully framed paintings of Elsa and Anna, or the Haunted Manson stretching walls etc

Another has walls adorned with sand dollars and hand made rustic hammerhead sharks. Driftwood sculptures of sharks and rays and glass turtles.

Or despite my home clearly showing my personality and memories of travels you might just hate it anyway, as perhaps you wouldn’t deem my particular interests sophisticated enough?

Point is, we are all different and that’s what is actually interesting. Even if it means our homes reflect more varied tastes. I’m sure your home is as lovely as mine is.

My aunts house has mismatched furniture and knick nacks, art, photos etc everywhere and I love it, it just works. My house is the opposite, minimalist. When I moved here I decided I couldn't be bothered with all that 'stuff' anymore, my house always looks clean and tidy and people always comment on how nice it is. My place is full of loads of sun and natural light, as well as texture and natural fibres so that might be one thing that stops it looking 'soulless'. I'm glad I no longer have all that extra stuff to clean and dust