To think I will always have financial stress now others have pointed this out?

Don't be so ridiculous.

I don't own my own home, I rent, have £10k total in my pension and zero savings for DS. He will have to fund uni himself, he will get the maximum loan due to my income and if needs be he can get a part time job.

You're far better off than a lot of people.

Imagine the guilt your DD will feel if she ever knows that you went without food to save for her university.

Imagine the guilt she'll feel if she chooses not to go to university, when you went without food so that she could.

Seriously OP, please look into counselling. Your daughter needs you to be mentally healthy, and to eat. One or two months not paying into the uni find, in order to pay for counselling will be money well spent.

Stop adding to your daughter's uni fund until you can afford it. Save in your own name, and only save what you can afford, you shouldn't be going hungry.

Your daughter can fund uni herself if needs be, millions do, but the money you have saved already will continue to grow and you can start to contribute again in future if things get easier.

Why are you saving so much money for your child? You’re not eating yet you have £20k in savings?! It’s absolute madness!!

Your child can get a student loan and a part time job while at uni like loads of other students I don’t know why you are causing yourself such stress and misery over something that really isn’t necessary, you’re still young why don’t you try enjoying life for a bit?

What?
Why??

It's ridiculous that you're going without meals several days a month so you can save more for your 6-year-old's future possible uni costs. You're obviously working and saving hard, but if it has you this skint then your priorities need to be reevaluated.

Kids notice everything, and if you're skipping meals and leaving off any treats or holidays, your DC will think that your family is poor. Why add the unnecessary insecurity of that to your child's life?

Of course, save, but spend just a little of that on activities for the two of you. Their childhood goes by so fast.

(Could you sell and spend less on a new mortgage?)

OP going without food for a few days each month to save £200 a month for Uni instead of £180 a month for Uni is not normal or healthy or in any way necessary and I would consider therapy for anxiety.

DC could always live at home and work for a year between school and Uni to save extra money if necessary, lots of people do this.

There’s absolutely no point in worrying about the future if you have no present

Please don't do that. Keep paying your mortgage. Save a little less - because you should not be missing meals. And make sure your savings are in a high interest savings account.

You can downsize to release money when she is 18, if you want to have more money available to help her. And keep saving into your pension as well

Go for promotions if possible or even move workplaces for better paid roles - you are still relatively young and can still be on the ascent at work. Well done for doing as well as you are already. Your daughter would be proud and grateful!

I didn’t contribute in any way to my children’s university costs. I couldn’t afford to. As a result of this they have both become savvy with money. Both are buying their own homes and appreciate the value of everything. A child that has nothing to achieve for itself may be starved of ambition and become overly entitled.

So stop saving for uni then

This is how you feel but it's an unhelpful post, given that millions in this country are much worse off than you. You are doinfg just fine.

Not when you’re saving £200/month. This is bad prioritising

As PP have said, you are being ridiculous.

This is a classic example of well-to-do mumsnetters being freaked out by having to make compromises to their lifestyle for the first time ever and feeling “poor”.

To you, it seems like it should be a ‘given’ that you can pay your child’s uni fees and give them a house deposit. For the vast majority of the population this is not a given, it’s a luxury!

If you save £200 a month for the next 11 years that’s over £26,000! That’s a house deposit right there for your daughter! And most definitely will pay for her accommodation and living costs through uni (she can get a loan for her fees like everyone else).

You earn the same and have the same pension contributions as me, which is a take-home salary of around £3300 a month, yes? How on earth you are not eating for days on this income I don’t understand. Are you in debt? Where do you shop? I think you need to seriously look at your budgeting.

You're not worrying about making ends meet though, worrying about making ends meet isn't worrying about different pots of cash you can ensure your child has to set themselves up in life.

Worrying about making ends meet is putting food on the table, electric still on.

You'll have various savings pots for your child when they grow up. That's great

@Baept15 could you post some (rough) figures of spending each month?
Travel, utilities, phone cost, food spend, insurance?

It's often really helpful to clarify - even just writing it down can show where you are overspending. MN is great for offering ways to cut back (phone for example or a better deal on insurance).

Hi OP
Do you think you may have your priorities a bit wrong?
You should be concentrating on living your best life with your daughter now. That means paying for essentials including food and then giving her the best of yourself without needless stress.
Everyone needs savings but you don't have to save towards your daughter's possible uni expenses to the detriment of her life now.
You are re-paying your mortgage every month and increasing savings by £100 already.
Why not use the £200 to give yourself and your daughter a better life now?
If she wants to go to uni in 12 years time she can take out loans and work like most students do. You can give her extra every month then.
I know being responsible for another human being is scary but you can't take away every risk and difficulty. Do you think you are doing your best by her by going without food and denying her experiences because you have to save?

To think I will always have financial stress now others have pointed this out?

Who has pointed this out? Someone particularly unhelpful I think.

Stop saving so much and make sure you have food!

So much will change in the next 12 years before your DD even thinks about Uni.

You could downsize when / if she goes. That's not going to ruin her life in any way. You're quite overdramatic about the effect of moving on a child anyway!

This! When I was at uni it was a mixed bag, some had parental support and some (like me) had loans and were working 2/3 jobs. By far the more happy and successful 15 years later are the ones who were independent!

You can't afford to save 200 a month for your child, if you are going without meals it's just not feasible

You really shouldn’t worry about your DDs uni fees. If she goes she can have a student loan. It’s not like a normal loan that has to be payed back, more like a small tax. Have a look a Martin Lewis on the subject. He explains it very well. At least that’s one worry you shouldn’t have. As far as the rest is concerned, you are in a much better situation than most people I would suggest.

I have developed anxiety over money due to a family situation so I do understand op but to reassure you my dd has just completed her masters degree she got the minimum student loans while doing her undergraduate degree due to our income we had to top up her loan to cover her rent by £400 per term and gave her £40 per week to help cover her food we did that from our wages not savings
my ds chose not to go to university

your dd is only 6 you have savings and are in a really good position so please stop missing meal’s unnecessarily and enjoy your life with your dd now as a lot can change in 12 years

My parents didn't save for me to go to uni and I went twice. I just pay a bit per month to pay it off, like most others.
I also worked alongside my study, to help pay for day to day life.

I don't really understand why you think £200/month savings for your daughter is not enough. We saved £100/month for ours and that yielded £32K at 18 (in a fairly poorly performing S&S CTF), which was the max parental contribution for a 5 year course at a London uni at the time (2 years ago).

Anyway, that wasn't our priority - paying down the mortgage and into pensions was. Our financial security changed massively in 12 years from when our DC was 6 to when they were 18, as a direct result of this.

Yabvu. I don't know many if any people as well off as you.

But you have equity in the house which is I’ll still be building up, so you don’t need to do it yet. You could do it when she goes off to uni if you need more money then. There are also student loans for a reason.

Look up eating on a budget, you shouldn’t be skipping meals. If you batch cook with lentils etc you can make up some meals to tide you over when money is short.