To think I will always have financial stress now others have pointed this out?

Do you realise how offensive your post is? Massive equity, decent salary, decent pension ,decent savings and saving more every month ...you are not struggling by any manner of means.

No, she's being daft and she's actually posted about this before and had advice then, so she's clearly not listening.

Bloomin heck OP you'd have a meltdown if you looked at my finances

OP who are these others who have pointed out your 'financial stress'?

You need to stop taking any notice of them because in your post you've described a quite comfortable financial situation that bears no resemblance to what the thread title suggests.

Saving £200 pm for your DDs house deposit and uni fund probably puts her ahead of most of her peers and will compound up to a significant amount.

You don't have unending riches but if you manage your money well you'll be pretty much in the opposite of unending financial stress, you'll likely be totally free from it.

I suggest you look at all the things you spend money on from council tax (look at your council tax banding to see what neighbours in similar properties are paying)
to going on compare the market/uswitch type websites or just google/ shop around and use cash back sites for other things.
Even website to find the cheapest fuel in your neighbourhood when you fill up with petrol. Shop around for food and think about having a couple of nights per week having a beans on toast dinner.
I would stop saving for your dd’s college fund (£200 p/nth) and stop saving the £100 per month for your savings account
You have £20k of savings which should tide you over between jobs or any emergency and take you dd’s university fund to make a one off payment towards your mortgage.
On the day you are paid send the excess money from the previous month to your mortgage

See how much time and money you could save here

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/mortgages/mortgage-overpayment-calculator/

Just don’t forget to live, have fun, go on holidays and days out. Expose your dd to different experiences and activities.

University isn’t exactly the Golden Key to a bright future it once was as now it is just what the majority of people do.
I work with people who have degrees and f/t jobs and are in similar or worse situations than you because they are having to work evenings and weekends of are using holiday days from their f/t work doing my type of gig economy work to make ends meet.

I think we need to wake up and realise the University for all dream isn’t working. It doesn’t pay the bills for the majority of people.

So age 39
£360k equity
£20k liquid savings
£54k salary
£3264.10 net pcm
Mortgage estimate £1100 pcm
£4320 into a pension pa
6yo so no nursery fees
£200 pcm saving
& sizeable inheritance expected

90% of the population would sell their arm to have such privilege.

You must be mixing with the super wealthy to not realise how well off you are?

Do not downsize, your house value will continue to increase as well as your mortgage decreasing.

you may feel like you’re in a bad place financially but perhaps you can look into investment options with the money you’re saving for your daughter opposed to just sat in a bank account ?

do not take financial advise off MN - seek advice from a real financial advisor.

It is the OP who's doing all the competitive comparing

In fact, this entire thread isn't her asking for advice. It's AIBU - and her AIBU is to think she'll always be financially stressed because others (dunno who these mysterious people are) pointed out how little she has. She makes several references to other people.
She is also the one who compared herself to two 25K earners and claiming we wouldn't give them the same opinion.

What advice is anybody supposed to give the OP apart from telling her to compare downwards instead of upwards - which will make her feel better?

People have already pointed out that, objectively she's in a reasonable, if not ideal position. What else do you expect them to do?

I’ve not decided yet if this post is a joke or not! If it’s not I cannot believe that some people think the way that you do. You live in a home with a massive amount of equity and you have hefty savings in the bank. You also have managed to pay into a pension. You really need to understand that you are in a very fortunate position. I am not going to say you are ‘lucky’ as I am sure you have worked hard to get where you are - one would say you must be quite intelligent. But your post comes across as a stealth boast more than anything!

It’s not exactly a bad position to be in. You’ve got some savings.

Some people are a hell of a lot worse off unfortunately.

Take a lodger?

OP, I earn less than 12k per year, but I am completely secure in my own mind, because if the worst comes to the worst, I have a huge asset - my house - that I can sell.

My house isn't even worth the equity you have in your house.

You and I are both massively privileged, because countless people truly do have nothing to fall back on. Try looking at it that way.

by the way I find the tone towards the OP rather judgy. Saying she's 'bleating' etc. She's working and looking after her daughter by herself, it isn't a competition to say oh well there's lots worse off. She wants advice and it could be kindly phrased!

Never mind her future, (that'll worry about itself when the time comes), what about your now?

Could you possibly move nearer to your parents and/or to a cheaper area. In my experience uprooting a 6 year old is OK, uprooting a 10 or 12 year old is much much more difficult. I think that the move would give you so much more over so you could start to build more solid savings AND have a decent quality of life day to day. Since she will also want hobbies, holidays etc before uni age.

Maybe “keeping up with everybody else” is your problem?

Your priorities are just bizarre.

Yes, in the perfect world you wouldn't have to downsize and move her. You would be able to fund Uni so she wasn't in debt at the end of it.

But this isn't a perfect world and so needs must. What's more unreasonable? A child starting over in a new house, with a new bedroom to decorate and new friends to be made, or their mother going without food for 3 days?

I hope you manage to see your situation from sn outsiders point of view.

This is daft. Your daughter is 6! Plus you’re not 40 yet so you have another twenty or thirty years of earnings to go.

I am like you as in I am a single parent to a daughter and financially everything is on me. I was made redundant at age 50 and I got divorced. So I downsized and released enough money for us to live on. Have that as your plan for the future but no need to starve yourself or start panicking now.

I'm 41 with a 3yr old.
I'm only just going through the process of buying for the first time.
I could have a mortgage till my 70's.
My child might not have a penny from us for university.

I'm not stressing. Life is for living and I want to enjoy today, not a tomorrow we may never see.
I do try to save (been bloody hard to raise a London deposit with no help), but I still prioritise enjoying now.

1. Get a side hustle. Match betting is not as lucrative as it was, but you can still make a couple of hundred every month if you are numerate and careful. Learn for free through sites like the student sites though, don't pay money for lessons.
2. Get on to MSE and do a proper budget. Keep account of every penny you spend and celebrate what you save. Even silly things like buying a shopping bag you keep on your keyring and never buying a supermarket bag. Keep a record of what you've saved through tiny economies and celebrate it
3. Budget £50 a month from your tiny savings to have a little celebration for you and DC.
4. Investigate mystery shopping and learn how to get paid truly ridiculously tiny free sums, or even nothing, for eating free meals.
5. Again on MSE, investigate overpaying your mortgage. Do you really need £20k in savings? You know putting £10k of this into your mortgage will save you about £10k in interest, right?

She's 6!
Worry about now.
Missing meals is ridiculous, on a £54k salary.

I know plenty of people in that position who can't afford a house. Compared to them, you are bragging, yes, as you have a relatively small mortgage on a half a million pound house. And 20K in the bank.

You bleat on about a lack of security when you're on track for the one thing that matters - a roof over your head.

Regarding university so much can change in 10 years but also your daughter doesn't have to go straight away if she goes at all. Gap year to save, scholarships, university abroad, downsizing etc so many options..

Don't downsize it will cost you money. Pay the extra into the mortgage not into a Uni fund. You will be paying more interest on your mortgage than you will get in savings. £200/£150 a month extra will make a big difference over the next 10 years. Then when your DC is older and ready to go to Uni you can downsize and use the extra money if you need to.

I think you’re bonkers to be choosing not to eat in order to save a bit of money for an unknown future event.

I have around €3k in savings, no income and likely a small pension when I retire as I don’t have enough stamps for a full state pension, but I’m not going to waste energy worrying about “what if”. The way the world is going right now, we’ll all be dead within 10 years anyway. 🤷🏻‍♀️

The funny thing about this is that life happens. One of our children needed an operation, and all our savings were wiped out, but I recognised how privileged we were to go private and even have those savings. The only reason we did this is because the success rate of our local hospitals was below dire due to the complexity of the operation. I'll start saving again, but I know they can get a loan and have it paid off without much impact on their lives.

Don't stress yourself out now over an imaginary future situation. I understand the pressure you must feel having sole responsibility, but your daughter needs a happy, healthy mom now, so try not to go without.