To think I will always have financial stress now others have pointed this out?

Why do you keep posting this? I have seen this at least once before and you have ignored any suggestions given

You need support for your anxiety. See your GP.

@Baept15 - although the details vary slightly I'm pretty sure this was you back in May? Also going without food then. If I'm right, how did the counselling go? I understand you are worried, but the level of worry isn't normal, it really isn't and you need to get some ( or more if you have already had some). I do understand that it feels a little scary, I was a single parent with two kids and a mortgage too for many years. But your anxiety sounds way beyond what most people would be.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5079478-to-feel-like-i-have-to-pay-this-off-for-dds-sake-how-can-i-do-it?postsby=Hyre

Look very carefully at every penny you spend - if you have things like Amazon Prime or Netflix or a mobile phone contract look at minimising them . I managed to save about £50 a month just by stopping Netflix and Amazon Prime and changing my phone contract .

Look at all your regular commitments.

I also put money into a stocks and shares ISA which is growing at a higher rate than savings for me so maybe something to consider for your DC Uni fund ( this is of course dependent on your appetite for risk )

If you have enough money saved to support you both for six months in event of job loss then it’s also worth over paying your mortgage .

Also think about whether there are University options close to home where DC could live at home . It’s also normal for A level age and Uni kids to work at least in the summer holidays to help support themselves. Great for CV too

Someone else suggested a lodger - even short term this is a great way to over pay your mortgage .I did this 20 years ago when made redundant and I went self employed .

Once you’ve squeezed your expenses down though it really doesn’t help you to keep worrying about the future .

I’m not sure if you’re intentionally trying to do a stealth boast tbf, and it sounds like you are genuinely worried but I think you need to get some perspective. I think this worrying and anxiety will be doing the most harm to your dc, it seems like they’ll have a good amount of savings from you as well regardless. It’s normal that children end up making their own way in life, getting savings from a parent is really an extra for most 🤷🏻‍♀️

For goodness sake stop it. People are allowed to post about money and savings without it being a stealth boast. There is nothing tone deaf about it. It is not a race to the bottom. Some people have more than others that's just life. Doesn't mean they can't be concerned for their long term situation.

An extra £200 a month could make a huge difference to both the amount of interest you pay overall and how long you are paying tbe mortgage for. How long do you have left on your mortgage? £200 a month is £48000 over 20 years.

True, I have one heading off to study medicine in 2 years - but we’ll be doing an equity release to fund this. The other one plans to study humanities next year (and indeed as was/is the case in my recent Arts/lit based MA and current PhD) seminars and tutorials were expressly all fitted into 2 days a week. This protects staff time for research and marking/course planning and side gigs as well as to enable students to work up to a max of 20hrs a week.

I would still strongly counsel against struggling financially as a single parent on the off chance of a DC (currently only 6) studying medicine/engineering/lab-based STEMs though - after all, the league tables/stats show these are the ones who end up on higher post-grad incomes and will be perfectly capable of repaying their student loans. And an equity release should that arise addresses this.

Kindly, OP, do you not have friends in real life to talk to?

These are the choices a lot of people make all of the time.
Where to live, schools, uprooting kids etc.

Do you not have a network of friends or family?

You need to weigh up the pros and cons of being mortgage free at 40, by downsizing, against the different location, standard of education in that area, how your DD would cope moving schools etc.

Or you could over-pay your mortgage by maybe £100 a month, stop saving £200 for uni (which may never happen) , seek promotion at work if that's an option, and stop worrying.

Your DD's nest egg could be the money she gets from friends or family for birthdays. Ask them to pay into a junior ISA rather than buy her toys etc.

This! This is not struggling,
this is stupidity!

Single parent, so while no nursery there's likely wraparound and holiday care to factor in.

Many unis now shoehorn seminars into 2 days a week/ during 2x10 week teaching periods so that students literally stay one night in a Premier Inn (or sofa surf) and head back home the rest of the week: they understand students work PT and stay at home in order to afford university now.

It really depends on the degree course. Some require 6 days a week (monitoring lab work which my DS had to do.)

If I were you, I’d overpay the mortgage rather than save for uni. If DC goes, let them take out the loans as they are not repayable until they are earning over a certain amount. Or you can release equity to fund uni if DC goes, or combine it with downsizing. We are encouraging our DCs to apply to unis within commuting distance of home/relatives (fortunately this means London and many Surrey/Berks unis are within easy reach for us, but the grandparents home give access to Midlands unis) so that they will likely not need the maintenance loan, but will free up some equity to underwrite living expenses.

Many unis now shoehorn seminars into 2 days a week/ during 2x10 week teaching periods so that students literally stay one night in a Premier Inn (or sofa surf) and head back home the rest of the week: they understand students work PT and stay at home in order to afford university now.

In summary - please don’t stress about the money side of that right now. Focus on general savings and paying off more of the mortgage (perhaps explore an offset mortgage where your savings reduce the rate of the mortgage).

I think you need help with your anxiety and unrealistic ideas.

Your DD may not want to go to uni or be able to.
Funding/loans may have changed in 12 years from now.

UNI
You don't have to contribute through savings. We gave our DCs an allowance towards living costs each month and their loans paid for their accommodation (they can do it the other way round- all depends on the costs involved.) They are still paying back their loans for tuition now.
None of that came out of our savings. It came out of our earnings.

How about finding yourself a good independent financial advisor who can help?

I think you need help with this. eg your child could have a junior ISA. You could overpay your mortgage, you could downsize, you may be able to earn more in your job...the possibilities are there for all of this.

This cant be real, for sure? Or is this some sort of an ego stroking post, to get some positive affirmation?

Do you realise, OP, that there are single working parents older than you who live hand to mouth in rented flats, with no savings and massive debt, and no pensions?

I think you need to speak to someone about your ideas, probably your GP - not eating when you have savings and can afford to put away 200 quid a month is bonkers.

you are not in financial stress, you pay a mortgage, have a very good single income , expensive house and some inheritance coming in. We live on less and save my salary and inheritance might even not reach us. House tied to a step father who has the right to live there if the mother in law goes first.

Option A - downsize, reduce outgoings increase savings
Option B - take the £200 / month & consider your house as saving / investment to downsize when DC goes to university

You go without meals on £54k salary? Think of others who would love to be in your position but instead are queuing at food banks

You are not struggling to make ends meet.

I suggest therepy for yout exreme anxiety

54k a year salary, plus child benefit, with a pension contribution of 8%, and say a student loan repayment, should mean that your take home pay is about £3,200 per month.

A 190k mortgage, at 5% with 25 years left to pay, would be about £1,100 a month. Say all your bills come to £1000 a month, this still leaves £1000 for food, day to day living etc. Not sure why you are skipping meals, do you have a budget?

Overpaying the mortgage £200 a month instead of saving it will save you money in interest and help you pay it off quicker. For example, if you do have 190k to pay off over 25 years at 5%, a monthly overpayment of £200 would save you £41,250 in interest, and pay the mortgage off 6 years and 5 months earlier. This would mean you had 72 months of being mortgage free, where you could save that £1300 mortgage payment for your DD if you wanted. 72 × 1300 = £100,100.

You're in a really good position OP. Have a look at overpaying your mortgage on money saving expert, as you need to do it a certain way for it to be beneficial.

I get your very anxious op as a single parent being soley repsonsibke for dc. I'd sit down and do a proper budget. If you can't afford to save for dc that ok. Many of us don't have any money from parents if we go to uni etc.

Your house will v part of your pension when you are older so you could downsize then.

Well done in what you are doing, try not to overthink things, amn’t in UK but reading other posts ISA sounds great.

How about renting out a room to students for few months of college year ( if close enough to colleges and/or good public transport.

Try Lidl boxes or olio to help with the end of the month, single parent here too and can relate to the responsibility, you are doing great and make sure to tell yourself that when you are getting bothered and anxious and try and balance bit better for end of the month, even beans, pasta and soup in press. Look at reduced section and see what you can freeze if it slots in with your work.

Can you do a trade with other people, dog watch/ walk for £10 Lidl voucher or such

I think you're overthinking it. I have an 8 year old and a baby and no savings of my own (did have but just finished a building project). We don't have spare at the end of the month but if I did I'd be over paying the mortgage, not putting it in a savings account for dc. Not eating at the end of the month when you have so much in savings is crazy. Make sure you live life now too.

Not RTFT, just the OP's posts. What is the point of saving £200 and then not eating for 3 days? If you are on your own ask yourself these 2 questions....."Who's going to look after DD when I become ill through not eating properly?" and " what happens when I'm too ill to work, how do I pay the bills and save £200?". I know you want to do your best for your DD but you can't do that if you don't take care of yourself.

This is the most mumsnetty thread ever.

Dear readers,
I live in a house worth more than half a million. I have savings. I'm likely to be in for a significant inheritance at some point. But my gosh I feel so poor! Woe is me!
Thanks for reading. Xxx