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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think I will always have financial stress now others have pointed this out?

286 replies

Baept15 · 11/08/2024 07:34

I’m almost forty. I have 190k owing on my home which was last valued as 550k.

I have 20k savings and an old car that I may need to replace in next couple of years. I have a dc age 6 and save around 200 a month for her for future but I’ve worked out that won’t even touch the sides for support through uni. Dc should theoretically get a decent house deposit from inheritance (not guaranteed but is my parents’ plan). Again theoretically I should have inheritance to cover the last of my mortgage but who really knows.

I pay into a pension but only 8 percent of my 54k salary. I can’t pay more it’s tight as it is.

I feel like I have no security. Dc has no security through me either, what will 20k savings be and I can’t even add more than 100 or so a month to them at the moment. I feel worried. I didn’t think I would get to forty and still feel like I did in my twenties, panicking about making ends meet.

OP posts:
BibbleandSqwauk · 11/08/2024 07:42

Just read your update about not eating ..for goodness sake, get some professional help.

JennyfromtheBlok · 11/08/2024 07:42

If you’re going without meals for a few days, then saving £200 is ridiculous.

She may not even go to university. She’s 6. This is a long way off.

I would say you are in an ok situation. Presumably if there are just the 2 of you, you could downsize your house in the future. Pay off the remaining mortgage etc.

Vettrianofan · 11/08/2024 07:41

I have four DC and don't worry about these things - they will have to make their own way in life. Eldest currently paying for their own driving lessons through their savings and plans to get a part time job ASAP. I don't have any money to give him for a deposit for a house! I didn't get any from my own parents 🤷‍♀️

dancemom · 11/08/2024 07:41

You are choosing to go without meals when you have £20K in savings?

BibbleandSqwauk · 11/08/2024 07:41

With that much equity in the house, kindly, you're being ridiculous. There are many places in the UK where you can buy a house for well under 250k. Continue to pay down your mortgage and when your DD goes to uni, if she goes, you can downsize a bit, relocate if needed and if she needs to take loans etc she'll not be alone. Mine have no pot saved for their future as I can barely afford what they need right now. Your position is fine, really.

lolacherricoke · 11/08/2024 07:40

Reduce the amount you pay to her to £50-£100 max and put the other £150 into your pension.
Paying for uni is a 'nice to do' xxx

Original poster
Baept15 · 11/08/2024 07:39

@dancemom i have no money at the end of the month and often go without meals for the last 2-3 days. That is struggling to make ends meet unfortunately

OP posts:
Original poster
Baept15 · 11/08/2024 07:39

@DustyLee123 200 extra a month seems pointless? I owe so much still? And then what if she does go to uni and I have absolutely nothing to support her? So stressed about it all

OP posts:
dancemom · 11/08/2024 07:39

You have £360K in equity, you have £20K in savings and you are increasing this bit by bit.

You are not struggling to make ends meet.

Get some perspective.

Original poster
Baept15 · 11/08/2024 07:38

Is there more I can or should do? Is it too late to fix?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 11/08/2024 07:37

Why’s the point in saving for uni, and being in debt, when she might not even go? Personally I’d be overpaying the mortgage and feeling more secure every month, rather than saving for something that might not happen.

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