To think I will always have financial stress now others have pointed this out?

Pretty similar finances to you though am a little older with two DC and a DP but less savings and more owed on mortgage and while I know we are very well off it does seem like we have little leftover at the end of the month and I am easily stressed about money so I can see why you worry. We are downsizing but only staying within school catchment and so I wouldn't do it if it is going to uproot your DD but at least you know it is an option for the future (there is very little in our school catchment that makes downsizing worthwhile so if this property chain breaks down then we will probably just stay put and look to make a move when the DC leave for uni/work)

Lone mother here, no savings, earn 34k per year, rent over half of monthly salary. No hope of ever buying g, minimal pension.
You are in a good position, one I certainly would appreciate.
You choose to put £200 a month away for your child in case they go to university. It's madness that you go without good for this!
You really are not struggling , you are prioritising to be in that place x

Your DD is 6 Who knows what her future will bringyou have an asset which you can downsize if necessary in the future.
Pension, savings, good salary which does represent security( you have options) but FGS save £50 less so you can afford to eat
I think this is not about finances, it's anxiety which you need some help with.

Do investigate whether overpaying your mortgage would be the best use of your surplus

Have you done the maths for paying your mortgage off quickly? No savings (other than a basic three-month emergency fund) but no mortgage by the time she's 18 will put you in a good position to spend what would have been the mortgage money on putting her through university.

Saving £200 per month for your DD will (roughly) add up to £29k, if you use it when she’s 18/19 to support her through uni. That is a lot of money and I’m sure she’ll welcome it!

None of us know, of course, how much uni fees will be when your DD is old enough to go to uni - or even if she’ll want to go. However, whatever she decides to do after she finishes school, £29k is a very generous sum of money that will help her a lot. Are you planning to use that money to pay for your DD’s uni fees or to help her with maintenance costs? I think it will go a long way towards helping her with maintenance costs (if she chooses to go to uni).

Also, I wondered if you’re saving this in cash or in stocks/shares? I’d suggest investing it in stocks and shares, if you feel comfortable with that, as you’ve still got a long time before you’ll need to use the money (at least 10 years, if your DD is 6). There are loads of helpful and clear guides on how to start investing money, on the Internet. I like Martin Lewis’s advice, but there is a lot more out there if you want to compare it for yourself, which is probably the best way of doing it.

Op where are you saving the money, is it in stock and shares because it should be grow well by the time she's at uni.
Not so much in 5 % saving account.

You need to say where your money is going and I honestly would reduce the 200 a month, find better return instead, and don't worry too much about uni. There are many amazing apprenticeships available now which pay as well as learn.

Can we ask why her father isn’t contributing to her upkeep and future?

If you paid that extra £200 per month off your mortgage, you’d pay it off years early and save thousands. Assuming your £190k still has around 15 years left, you’d save over £12k and pay off nearly three years early. Use the MSE overpayment calculator to check.

otherwise, the £30k-odd that you’ll have saved for DD will not be insignificant, whatever she decides to spend it on.

OP you are going to have to get help for your anxiety. It isn’t fair on your dd to have to spend her childhood and teens dealing with this first hand, as she will inevitably have to. You won’t be able to hide this level of stress and anxiety from her, if this thread and your other one is anything to go by.

It sounds like you're sole provider and although you're feeling the pressure have a lot more financial security and options than most single parents - or indeed a lot of parents altogether.

Stop thinking about uni
Downsize if needed
Stop saving so much if you can't eat

This is all being driven by anxiety. There is such a lack of logic which I imagine is being driven by being anxious and now you cannot see the wood for the trees.
Please seek some help or it will affect your daughter far more than not having a uni fund.
Children don’t need parents to starve themselves for a hypothetical degree they may not even want to take! She needs you, her mum and you owe it to yourself - and her - to get help and be happier.

People’s obsession with their kids futures has gone off the scale in recent years.

I got fuck all off my parents and so everything on my life has been provided by me.

All a child should need is your love, support and guidance.

I know people who won’t even spend their own pension fund because they need to leave it to their kids and go without holidays etc. That’s madness.

Crazy world we live in now.

You are probably amongst the top 10% of wealth in the world! You are just making the wrong decisions. Stop saving, start eating and when you are ready, downsize. There are only 2 of you and she is SIX! Kids are fine moving at that age. Even moving schools.

Absolutely, you’ve hit the nail on the head there I think!

Taking home over 3k a month, seems as though OP is all fur coat and no knickers, as the saying goes, choosing not to eat so as to keep up appearances.

No, that really IS NOT struggling to make ends meet.

You have savings to cover shortfalls. You normally SAVE £200pm.

You are choosing to go without meals out of some weird martyrdom and you are deluding yourself if you think you are doing it for your child. When your child is not much older they will be picking up on your anxiety and strange behaviours like this. Do you want to pass on your anxiety to them? Never mind bloody university, this could fuck up their lives completely. Get help ASAP.

Who is the "everyone else" that you can't seem to keep up with?

You are much, much better off than many millions just in this country. There will always be people better off than you, why are you making your comparison with them rather than those with much less than you?

Ah, yet another thread where the privileged minority pretends to be a starving poor just because they have to make a slight financial sacrifice for once in their life.

I remember the other thread. If that's yours, you really need some help with your anxiety and, yes, some perspective on your life. Your daughter doesn't care about uni fees. She cares about having a mother who is healthy, plays with her, and sometimes takes her on days out. All of which should be possible in your situation with the income and savings you mention.

I’m sorry but your level of anxiety is not normal. I brought up two children alone on a lot less than you. One has just graduated Uni, one is off this year. Of course I had money worries as a low paid single mum (I’d have felt rich earning what you do).

Who or what is feeding these out of control anxieties (I suspect you are indeed the other poster mentioned up thread). I sympathise that you are a worrier (as am I) but it’s on a level that needs some professional help (imho).

I wonder if the financial side of things is a bit of a red herring… is there an underlying fear is that as a single parent you feel total responsibility for all decision making, both for now and in the future and this feels overwhelming? And it’s coming out as trying to match those in your social circle and feeling that you’re not ‘keeping up’ and feeling guilt connected with this.
Envy is a strong emotion, particularly if we don’t feel we can provide ‘enough’ for DC.
Try to take a step back, read some of the other posts in the cost of living thread. We would all like more for our kids and wanting that/worrying out that isn’t a crime, but you should you know that if you rolled a dice and swapped places with a random person of your same age, anywhere in the world … that you will be one of the most well off people.

According to your other thread you are only 36! It’s not normal to be panicking about paying off your mortgage.

I think this is an anxiety thing as your viewpoint about money is very unusual.

For god’s sake, listen to yourself! Plenty of people get left nothing in inheritance and do fine. Plenty of people don’t go to uni and do fine. Plenty of people go to uni and fund it themselves via work - and do fine (very often better than those who are bankrolled by parents).

You are solvent. You have a decent income. You have equity in your home and £20k in available savings. I cannot believe you think it is better to go without food for several days each month so you can save for a future your child may not pursue!! In fact, with an income of £54k you should NEVER be unable to eat!

Perhaps you should spend some time investigating ways of making enough meals for the full month within a reasonable budget.

You are not poor. Your responsibility is to raise a child equipped with the skills to succeed in their own future. If you can afford a hand out great, if not, that’s fine too.

Get some therapy! Your post is offensive to those who are genuinely struggling financially.

It’s terrible advice. Do not overpay the mortgage.

You’re paying into a private pension alongside the state. Your mortgage is designed to be paid off by the date agreed using the payments agreed. Paying off early is nice to have not essential. Saving for uni is a very nice to have not essential. You have an emergency fund and enough for a new car in a few years

You need to step back and get perspective. These are financial choices you’re making that are making you unhappy; going without food to save is not healthy physically or emotionally .

whoever is making you worry about this, ditch them