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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to report this to the police, even though I am technically implicating myself?

769 replies

Imperrysmum · 10/08/2024 15:27

My local park is locked overnight and isn’t opened until 6am. It’s a huge park but in one area part of the fence is missing so I squeeze through and go into the park to walk my dog at 4am (he is an XL bully so I like to go the park when nobody is about)

The last few mornings when I have been walking round by the pond there have been a couple of men sitting on the benches next to the pond “feeding the ducks”. I noticed they have black bin liners next to them too. I’m pretty sure I recognise these men from working in a takeaway restaurant.

I am concerned they are trying to catch ducks. I hope i’m wrong, but I just can’t see why two adult men would sit feeding the ducks at 4am?! Especially as the park is officially closed and they have bin liners next to them.

AIBU to report this to the police, even though I’ll be implicating myself too?

OP posts:
llizzie · 15/08/2024 23:23

Imperrysmum · 15/08/2024 21:36

Hi all. Thought I’d do a quick update as a few of you had been speculating I had ended up on the specials menu.

So…I was wrong.

Waited in the bush last Sunday morning for nearly 2 hours until they finally turned up at 5am.

They sat on the bench for a while, feeding the ducks then stripped off and swam in the pond. Meanwhile i’m stuck inside the bush, with CHRONIC cramp in my calf from crouching for so long, nearly in tears with the pain while wrestling my dogs mouth shut so he doesn’t bark at the naked men swimming past us in the pond.

When they got out they dried off with towels from the black bags and got out a flask of tea(?) to drink.

So yep, I was wrong. Not snatching ducks.

So your dog wasn't muzzled then? Hopefully, there are no WCPs reading it.

CombatLingerie · 15/08/2024 23:07

@GripeOfTheDayI agree a most entertaining thread made even better by the OP’s update.

GingerScallop · 15/08/2024 22:51

kierenthecommunity · 12/08/2024 19:59

Anyone else think ‘feeding the ducks’ was some sort of double entendre for gay sex? I was most astonished to read on they were literally feeding ducks.

Your mind is a wonderful place @Kierenthecommunity

GingerScallop · 15/08/2024 22:50

LaraThot · 15/08/2024 21:42

OP ended up seeing more peckers than she bargained for.

Thanks for the laugh

GingerScallop · 15/08/2024 22:48

Imperrysmum · 15/08/2024 21:36

Hi all. Thought I’d do a quick update as a few of you had been speculating I had ended up on the specials menu.

So…I was wrong.

Waited in the bush last Sunday morning for nearly 2 hours until they finally turned up at 5am.

They sat on the bench for a while, feeding the ducks then stripped off and swam in the pond. Meanwhile i’m stuck inside the bush, with CHRONIC cramp in my calf from crouching for so long, nearly in tears with the pain while wrestling my dogs mouth shut so he doesn’t bark at the naked men swimming past us in the pond.

When they got out they dried off with towels from the black bags and got out a flask of tea(?) to drink.

So yep, I was wrong. Not snatching ducks.

You better report them for drinking tea. Especially out of a flask!

GripeOfTheDay · 15/08/2024 22:43

Plmnki · 15/08/2024 21:55

So these guys are innocently having a swim together and you’re staring at them for hours with your illegal breed dog and your X-L judgypants and binoculars. Ugh, poor sods, being stalked by creepy person with with vicious gansta style dog (no doubt with cropped ears and other refinements) to keep the house safe. Lovely.

Ah really Pimki, was that necessary?

Most of us mumsnetters found it to be comedy gold...

Fab comic timing from poster and responders, I've enjoyed it ladies, hope the bulk of you also did too.

Mandaxx25 · 15/08/2024 22:36

They're probably homeless and use whatever body of water it is (lake?) to wash themselves and didn't want to do it in daytime for obvious reasons.

Washingupdone · 15/08/2024 22:28

🤣🤣🤣
Thank you for the up date

Marinerscove · 15/08/2024 22:17

I just laughed so hard at the update!! 🤣🤣🤣 Thank you OP!!

IMustDoMoreExercise · 15/08/2024 22:06

Imperrysmum · 15/08/2024 21:36

Hi all. Thought I’d do a quick update as a few of you had been speculating I had ended up on the specials menu.

So…I was wrong.

Waited in the bush last Sunday morning for nearly 2 hours until they finally turned up at 5am.

They sat on the bench for a while, feeding the ducks then stripped off and swam in the pond. Meanwhile i’m stuck inside the bush, with CHRONIC cramp in my calf from crouching for so long, nearly in tears with the pain while wrestling my dogs mouth shut so he doesn’t bark at the naked men swimming past us in the pond.

When they got out they dried off with towels from the black bags and got out a flask of tea(?) to drink.

So yep, I was wrong. Not snatching ducks.

I wonder if they are on MN and knew that you would be watching them and so didn't do anything illegal!

WotsYourExcuse · 15/08/2024 21:57

There was an outrage about a decade ago in my hometown when one of the kitchen staff at a local curry house ran out front and grabbed a duck, before disappearing back into the kitchen. In full view of all the customers. It made the local rag and the restaurant gave a statement saying it had been intended as a pet or something like that. 🤣

Plmnki · 15/08/2024 21:55

So these guys are innocently having a swim together and you’re staring at them for hours with your illegal breed dog and your X-L judgypants and binoculars. Ugh, poor sods, being stalked by creepy person with with vicious gansta style dog (no doubt with cropped ears and other refinements) to keep the house safe. Lovely.

WotsYourExcuse · 15/08/2024 21:55

Butchyrestingface · 10/08/2024 15:32

Imagine what they think of you walking a restricted breed associated with multiple deaths round the park on your lonesome at 4am. 😀

Probs the most sensible time to walk it though tbf.

Delta41 · 15/08/2024 21:53

The entire 26 pages of this post / thread / soap opera / epic are complete and utter comedy gold. In every single way.
kudos to the Scooby Doo poster.

Original poster
Imperrysmum · 15/08/2024 21:49

FrostyGlitter · 15/08/2024 21:44

Haha so it turns out they were skinny dipping. How long were you stuck hiding once the got in for their swim?

I got in the bush at 3am and was stuck in there until nearly 6am as they sat there drinking tea after. It truly felt like a never ending hell. Genuinely one of the worst moments of my life.

OP posts:
FrostyGlitter · 15/08/2024 21:44

Haha so it turns out they were skinny dipping. How long were you stuck hiding once the got in for their swim?

LaraThot · 15/08/2024 21:42

OP ended up seeing more peckers than she bargained for.

tommyhoundmum · 15/08/2024 21:41

I'm glad for the ducks and that you are off the hook too

As for the naked men, I see the same every morning on our common and just walk past with a polite good morning.

LunaNorth · 15/08/2024 21:40

Shame they were men, otherwise I could have cracked a joke about ducking snatches.

Oh well.

Original poster
Imperrysmum · 15/08/2024 21:36

Hi all. Thought I’d do a quick update as a few of you had been speculating I had ended up on the specials menu.

So…I was wrong.

Waited in the bush last Sunday morning for nearly 2 hours until they finally turned up at 5am.

They sat on the bench for a while, feeding the ducks then stripped off and swam in the pond. Meanwhile i’m stuck inside the bush, with CHRONIC cramp in my calf from crouching for so long, nearly in tears with the pain while wrestling my dogs mouth shut so he doesn’t bark at the naked men swimming past us in the pond.

When they got out they dried off with towels from the black bags and got out a flask of tea(?) to drink.

So yep, I was wrong. Not snatching ducks.

OP posts:
januaryjan · 15/08/2024 20:36

FeetLikeFlippers · 15/08/2024 19:10

That’s brilliant. But I’m genuinely interested in what batshit stuff the OP will come up with next. The park becoming private property once it’s locked is my favourite bit so far.

Show quote history

I would suggest that the OP sitting in a bush at four in the morning on a surveillance mission, with a pair of binoculars, trying to spot 'Duck snatchers' is a little on the bat radar too.

More Miami Duck than Miami Vice.

Boopbeepbeepboop · 15/08/2024 19:16

FeetLikeFlippers · 15/08/2024 19:10

That’s brilliant. But I’m genuinely interested in what batshit stuff the OP will come up with next. The park becoming private property once it’s locked is my favourite bit so far.

Show quote history

I don't think they're coming back

FeetLikeFlippers · 15/08/2024 19:10

januaryjan · 15/08/2024 17:31

Scooby (xl bully) and Shaggy (the OP) jumped out of the bushes and confronted the two men. Luckily the local Sheriff and his Deputy just happened to be passing and arrested the varmints. Turns out it was old Mr Anderson and his sidekick Chet Atkins from the Hardware store up there yonder on main street - all dressed up as Chinese Takeaway Chefs. They had found an old gold mine down by the duck pond and were smuggling the gold out of the park in pretend ducks via the black bags.

And they would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for them pesky kids.

About as real as this is gonna get.😎

Show quote history

That’s brilliant. But I’m genuinely interested in what batshit stuff the OP will come up with next. The park becoming private property once it’s locked is my favourite bit so far.

januaryjan · 15/08/2024 17:31

FeetLikeFlippers · 13/08/2024 19:06

Oh my god OP, you can’t just leave us hanging like this! What happened on your surveillance operation?

Show quote history

Scooby (xl bully) and Shaggy (the OP) jumped out of the bushes and confronted the two men. Luckily the local Sheriff and his Deputy just happened to be passing and arrested the varmints. Turns out it was old Mr Anderson and his sidekick Chet Atkins from the Hardware store up there yonder on main street - all dressed up as Chinese Takeaway Chefs. They had found an old gold mine down by the duck pond and were smuggling the gold out of the park in pretend ducks via the black bags.

And they would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for them pesky kids.

About as real as this is gonna get.😎

NeverDropYourMooncup · 15/08/2024 07:44

Iknowitsyou · 14/08/2024 23:40

Has the op been
a - abducted?
b - arrested?
or
c - became the menu special?

Abduckted, obviously.