My in laws will call and announce they are coming in an hour at around 6pm /7pm once or twice a week and will stay until 9.
I don't mind if they ask a few days before and give notice once a week. That way I can make sure my partner and I have had dinner earlier and my 13 month old and newborn have had their bed time routine including baths.
However, they always announce they are coming at a time when I am busy prepping dinner for me and partner, getting babies ready for bed, and doing the evening clean and chores (washing bottles, sterilising etc.
Also, usually I offer dinner as they come at dinner time, however last time they came I didn't!
I did the prep but didn't lay out table or offer dinner because I was simply too tired and made a big batch to last the next day especially since it's not easy to cook from scratch everyday with two babies under two, when they eat with us there's nothing left for the next days lunch!
Am I being unreasonable to not offer dinner anymore (I still offer tea / coffee and homemade dessert ) and just wait for them to leave?
Also, they phone my partner and say they are coming in half an hour for a visit - they know we are home at this time - how do we avoid this.
When they personally ask me I just say no, we are not free however my husband feels the pressure as it's his family and they don't ask him permission to come - they just announce it!