More like, is he being unreasonable or is this a normal reaction from him?
DC Is 2.5. My family is quite wealthy, his is pretty average. In laws live closer so we see them for day trips once a month, my mum lives further so I will visit her overnight for a couple of nights but also about once per month.
Sadly my DF died when I was a teen but he was highly successful, left a large inheritance to my mum and I. My mum, having raised me, now mainly travels the world, enjoys life and helps me out with raising DC when I need it. On a few holidays (3-4 per year) she will invite me and DC along, DH is invited too but can't join for all of them because of limited annual leave, he does join for probably half (sometimes joins part way through a holiday, sometimes doesn't join at all and sometimes joins for the full length). These holidays are fully paid for by my mum. When not on holiday, I'll sometimes go to stay with my mum for a night or two if DH knows he will work late - her house is large enough for DC to have their own room, all the "child" equipment that I need can be and is stored at hers. On other days, my mum will just pop over to ours to help out, play with DC etc - this doesn't affect DH because he is out at work and it'll be in the daytime.
My ILs see DC far less. They can't afford to take us on holiday and my DH wouldn't pay for them to go with us. They visit maybe once a month. Staying at theirs is more difficult because a) it would need to be over a weekend when DH can come and b) the house is a squeeze, we don’t have anything there that we need (baby chair, cot, all the nappies / bottles / aprons / toys) so have to bring everything. I guess I also don't ask for help from my ILs the way I do from my own mum (for example if I need someone to watch DC whilst I have a doctors appointment - I will ask my mum or move it, never ask my ILs), largely because I just don't have that kind of relationship with them. We are civil and no arguments but we don't "get on like a house on fire" in that we have very different views, not many common interests. I find their visits tedious and exhausting for many (very subtle but many) reasons - none because they're terrible people, just that I find them difficult to be around, we run out of conversation fast and we have to fake agreeing on topics.
I've noticed recently my husband really tries to compete and compensate. He's trying to squeeze us into their house at Xmas (as opposed to hotel like we've done previous years) even though that meant 6 adults and 1 child in a 2/3 bedroom house (3rd bedroom is a study that will have a blow up bed in the middle, the bedroom we stay in will mean either someone sleeps on a floor mattress so we physically can’t open the door or walk around until mattress lifted, or all 3 of us sleep in a small double bed). Or he is irritable when he sees that DC will run towards my mum shouting GAM-GAAAAAAM ("grandma") or when the two have little inside jokes or games. If I ask about it he claims he's absolutely fine and just wants DC to give "gam-gam" a rest (my mum is thrilled with it, doesn’t want a rest). I can just feel resentment towards my mum for being able to spend more time with DC?