I'll start this by saying my husband is a lovely person. He's loving, reliable, hardworking, present etc.
He acts like every day is a celebration which in theory is very nice but in practical terms I believe is quite damaging.
He has a responsible and well-paid job. He has enough money for his part of the mortgage and bills but for any big purchases he definitely believes in taking out loans rather than saving up.
He is extremely generous with the whole family and loves to buy us all presents. The kids love it but mostly I make sure to avoid admiring anything near him because it'll turn up a few days later. The kids are overwhelmed with stuff. My husband is never happier than when he's out at the shops buying stuff.
He loves to eat well as well and although he is making serious efforts with the children and trying to understand healthy eating (though not doing it), he is health-threateningly overweight and we've already had to make a concerted effort to stop our older child going in the same direction.
Last week he received a letter from HMRC which he knows is related to an unpaid tax bill from last year, which he did make initial enquiries about at the time and then forgot. It's a significant sum, not crippling but enough to make life rough for a little while. It's not the first time he's neglected to deal with something important.
The thing is, half of me thinks that, while our children and our general finances are okay, I need to leave him to it. He's an otherwise responsible adult and must make his own choices.
But the other half of me really craves an equal partnership with someone with the same values as me. I strive to live carefully, to make healthy choices, to be environmentally responsible, to live simply and mindfully.
But I'm also weak willed and afraid I do crumble more than I ought. I have way more stuff than I need and I'm overweight as well as my diet has changed so much.
And I have to admit I have changed since we married. When I was younger I loved buying clothes, going to nice restaurants and drinking without a thought for the consequences.
So maybe it's all my fault for having changed. But I'm so tired of being the grown up and of being the one who always, always says no while he splurges on treat after treat with apparently no thought for the consequences.
What do I do?