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Quiet neighbours now making noise.

589 replies

OpalBird · 10/08/2024 07:48

My neighbours talked to us about the noise coming from our property. OK, my son has a hobby that does make an annoying noise. Since then we have made sure he's doing it less but we obviously aren't going to stop him completely. They haven't said anything since and I think we've been considerate in reducing the number of hours our son does his thing.

It seems like they've now decided that they are allowed to make more noise. We've been neighbours for years and they've always been quiet. Now we get occasional music or radio in their backyard. When I asked them about it they said they have always worn headphones to be considerate but they don't really like listening that way, so they thought it was fair they got to have their hobbies the way they enjoy them best as well.

Would I be unreasonable to complain to them again? There is a difference between children playing and music when they have the option of headphones.

OP posts:
Franjipanl8r · 10/08/2024 12:46

I play basketball with a team and train and play twice a week. You and your son are totally out of order. It’s a team sport with opportunities to do extra shooting practice in local parks. No one on my team has a basket at home for practicing exactly for the reason you’re getting criticised here.

Daffyyellow · 10/08/2024 12:46

Massively unreasonable to play basketball for so long. At 13 he is old enough to go elsewhere to play it. Repeatedly bouncing a ball is a very invasive noise, your poor neighbours.

Mysticcatmum · 10/08/2024 12:45

OpalBird · 10/08/2024 07:55

The basketball is only about half an hour at a time, a few times a day. Their music yesterday was for two hours. We've got our son down to no more than three or four times a day now, so it's not excessive. It used to be twice that. So we've done something about it.

OP, your son playing basket ball four times a day for 30 minute periods adds to a total of 2 hours a day. If you think that is not excessive, then surely you don't think your neighbours playing music for two hours (the same amount of time your son- which happens everyday), is unreasonable? Give over

Bemusedandconfusedagain · 10/08/2024 12:43

Well done for being so gracious in realising your error. Personally I'd look into a quiet rubber area and quiet balls regardless so your DS can hopefully enjoy his sport more without annoying the neighbours.

NightFlying · 10/08/2024 12:42

OpalBird · 10/08/2024 07:55

The basketball is only about half an hour at a time, a few times a day. Their music yesterday was for two hours. We've got our son down to no more than three or four times a day now, so it's not excessive. It used to be twice that. So we've done something about it.

Which is it a few times a day or three or four times a day ?

Your own admissions seem to vary.

Maybe they are using the music to drown out the basketball noise.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 10/08/2024 12:41

I had an hour of radio during the week when I was trying to work from home last week.

I had 2 weeks of the neighbours having their roof replaced. Combined with the other side having trees cut down.

The other week DH had COVID and wasn't allowed on site (policy) but wasn't actually ill. He was messing with his project car right outside my office window.

One of my neighbours has his radio on while he gardens.

Over the road like to stand on their drive and squabble.

It's part and parcel of living in amongst other people. One hour of radio is nothing. Imagine trying to work with the thud thud thud of a ball constantly happening. Then tell us you're not unreasonable.

Cocobeau · 10/08/2024 12:39

can we just take a moment to appreciate a post in AIBU where the poster has accepted that they are in fact BU. 👏🏻

godmum56 · 10/08/2024 12:38

OpalBird · 10/08/2024 10:31

OK I'm going to suggest we limit it to half an hour a day and one hour a day on the weekends. That's a huge reduction for our son and I think it's got to be within reasonable.

how will you feel if they say fine that's how long we will play music for but it won't be at the same time that your son is practicing?

MzHz · 10/08/2024 12:34

As AIBUs go, this one is a slam dunk.

UR Hideously U @OpalBird

CormorantStrikesBack · 10/08/2024 12:34

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whereisthelifethatirecognize · 10/08/2024 12:33

OpalBird · 10/08/2024 08:01

He's 13 and we think it's better than screen time. I didn't think normal kid playing noise was wrong.

I had an hour of radio during the week when I was trying to work from home last week.

13 is old enough to go to a park to play a noisy sport like basketball.

I say that as a parent with teens who play

SoOriginal · 10/08/2024 12:33

Theres something called a silent basketball. I don’t play myself so don’t know a lot about it but might be worth a look

Elizo · 10/08/2024 12:28

Just let it go or you’ll end up with all out war! A bit of music in the garden isn’t that bad.

Scirocco · 10/08/2024 12:28

OpalBird · 10/08/2024 12:05

I feel like he should be able to have some agreed time where it's accepted that the kid next door likes this activity, even if half an hour a day. I do take on board that it's generally annoying and not currently limited enough. So I need to work out what the neighbours can tolerate without stress.

Basketball is a team sport and people do individual practice of different elements of it. From what you've described, he's not playing basketball. He's just repeatedly throwing/bouncing a ball. Which is bloody annoying for everyone else. Get him down the park or sports centre.

scotstars · 10/08/2024 12:27

I suspect you have zero awareness and are understating how long your son is out for if cutting down to 30 mins/an hour will be a massive reduction.
Your neighbours tried talking to you the noise is still ongoing (in the morning before school is insane!) therefore they are making a point by playing music outside.
Also I've never once heard our neighbour out with a leaf blower at 10am. They are making a point whether you want to believe it or not.

HospitalitySux · 10/08/2024 12:25

OpalBird · 10/08/2024 12:05

I feel like he should be able to have some agreed time where it's accepted that the kid next door likes this activity, even if half an hour a day. I do take on board that it's generally annoying and not currently limited enough. So I need to work out what the neighbours can tolerate without stress.

That doesn't answer the question as to why you felt like their music was unreasonable enough to complain though, that's what they like to do and you have been intolerant of that, while expecting them to be tolerant to your son doing what he likes to do.

For me that's when you became unreasonable, expecting tolerance for something that you're aware disturbs others but refusing to do the same.

MissMoneyFairy · 10/08/2024 12:24

Move the hoop away from their side, attach it to a tree or install a post somewhere else. Install AstroTurf or rubber matting, its the constant bounce bounce bounce that's annoying. Not before school, that's ridiculous, look for local clubs, sports centres, after school club.

crockofshite · 10/08/2024 12:21

OpalBird · 10/08/2024 08:42

No park with a hoop.

Contact the leisure department of the council who manage the park and ask for a hoop. Maybe get lots of neighbours including your long suffering immediate neighbours, to request the same so the council might consider it.

CrispsAndWines · 10/08/2024 12:21

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

Leanmeansmitingmachine · 10/08/2024 12:20

OpalBird · 10/08/2024 09:57

If they're just doing it to make a point, it would be nice. It served them well for over a decade.

Fucking hell 😂

bluewatermelon · 10/08/2024 12:20

And bouncing a ball in the garden is not a hobby.

bluewatermelon · 10/08/2024 12:18

OpalBird · 10/08/2024 10:31

OK I'm going to suggest we limit it to half an hour a day and one hour a day on the weekends. That's a huge reduction for our son and I think it's got to be within reasonable.

An hour!? Just no. Honestly, what’s wrong with you?

crockofshite · 10/08/2024 12:18

OpalBird · 10/08/2024 08:22

Our concreted area is on that side. That's why it has to go there.

I see I'm going to have to think about this some more. How long do people think is an acceptable length of time total over the day?

Lay a noise absorbing surface somewhere else away from their house

crockofshite · 10/08/2024 12:16

OpalBird · 10/08/2024 08:12

Two detached homes next to each other. The net is right next to their house but there is nowhere else to put it. They did understand why it was there when I explained.

Fuck! You're annoying.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 10/08/2024 12:14

OpalBird · 10/08/2024 12:05

I feel like he should be able to have some agreed time where it's accepted that the kid next door likes this activity, even if half an hour a day. I do take on board that it's generally annoying and not currently limited enough. So I need to work out what the neighbours can tolerate without stress.

Have you actually spoken to your son about whether he can see any solution to this? If it's just a thing he quite likes doing, he may be less effected by changes to it than you think. If he wants to try and get in a team, so he's practicing and training, it's very different to "I'm a bit bored, I'll go bounce the basketball around".

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