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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I ring/ text my ex

30 replies

mumhas1syllable · 09/08/2024 23:10

He has ended the relationship on Monday but we are in a position of remaining to live together for another 3 months. We have managed to talk our emotions out and reach fair agreements and coexist together over the past couple of days. He requested I come back to the house this evening after work as he was making us tea. I came home to find his car gone. I rang and he is out drinking with a friend - I offered him a lift home later to which he accepted and said he wouldn’t be long, this was at 5:45. He has not contacted me or come home yet. Noteworthy; he is currently being advised to return to AA meetings and avoid such things. Do I text to see if he is ok or ring etc? I do not want to know if he is out “on the pull” and tbh the idea of him coming home in the morning after staying out will hurt me more than anything but do I need to stay in my lane and stay quiet or place boundaries?

OP posts:
Starlightstarbright3 · 09/08/2024 23:23

TiredHippo · 09/08/2024 23:19

He requested you to come home as he was making you tea, but then decided he was going out and accepted an offer of a lift, fuck that shit!!!! He's manipulating you, he wants your attention and wants to know you still care about him, even though he's being a complete areshole. Please don't call or txt, it's exactly what he wants and he'll know he can keep on manipulating you going forward, been there, done that and I'm finally free X

This exactly …

He is showing you who he is

catchthepigeon98 · 09/08/2024 23:20

He requested you to come home because he made some tea and when you got there he wasn’t there. He’s obviously trying to control you if yous have broken up have nothing to do with him until one of yous can move out

SkaneTos · 09/08/2024 23:19

He is now your ex-partner. Even if you live together, and I can understand that you still care for him in some ways, I don't think you should contact him. He can do whatever he wants.

TiredHippo · 09/08/2024 23:19

He requested you to come home as he was making you tea, but then decided he was going out and accepted an offer of a lift, fuck that shit!!!! He's manipulating you, he wants your attention and wants to know you still care about him, even though he's being a complete areshole. Please don't call or txt, it's exactly what he wants and he'll know he can keep on manipulating you going forward, been there, done that and I'm finally free X

K37529 · 09/08/2024 23:16

if it’s over between you two I’d just leave him to it. If he wanted you to come get him he’d have called and I wouldn’t run around after an ex he came make his own way home.