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Original poster

Do take action on him taking child abroad without my consent...

35 replies

User8901736gdhen · 09/08/2024 20:01

Was told at 3pm today Ex was taking DD to a seaside resort for the weekend. Fine, its his weekend he can do what he wants.
Got a text 45 mins later he will be taking him to a European country until Sunday. He was due to be on the train 7pm.

I have messaged back to say I haven't had any time to consider this and that I haven't agreed it.

He has messaged back to say I took them on holiday to Spain 2 years ago and he hadn't approved to that.
I did post about that here at the time as he was so mardy about it, but never actually said he didn't approve to it. It was for a family birthday.

For context he is controlling and has recently picked DD up from school on my day after I had said no and taken her to another city.

Not sure what I should do - he has gone and is currently travelling.

OP posts:
MrsGarethSouthgate · 09/08/2024 20:12

Does he have parental responsibility?

Nicknacky · 09/08/2024 20:11

Would you have said no?

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 09/08/2024 20:11

PrawnAgain · 09/08/2024 20:05

This is sounds very unhealthy. What is your coparenting relationship like? Why does he require your permissiom to pick her up from school? You say he is controlling but this post makes you sound controlling.

Are you actually concerned for her safety or is this a control thing?

Would taking action be in your daughter's best interest?

He would need the mums permission to get the daughter from school and take her out for the evening if it's normally mums day

Ivehearditbothways · 09/08/2024 20:10

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 09/08/2024 20:10

I think you should send an email in writing after the trip that it's illegal and you could have called the police for child abduction. If in future he doesn't give you x amount of notice then you'll call the police and stop it happening and the child will know that it's your exes fault not yours. But only if you're willing to follow through.
Why does he have the passport?

Right… but she didn’t ask for his permission either.

Ivehearditbothways · 09/08/2024 20:10

Stop using your child to play games. There is a absolutely nothing wrong with him taking her on a wee trip away. And why wasn’t he allowed an extra day after school with her? Why did you say no?

It doesn’t sound like you even asked his permission to take her to Spain; you just told him?

She doesn’t belong to you. She is a person with every right to have these experiences with her dad as well as with you.

It’s good to have a set schedule so you can both plan but it isn’t good to stick so rigidly to it that it gets in the way of you each doing special things with her or having a little extra time, as long as it suits both of you.

Bottom line is that you need to grow up. It isn’t about you. It’s about your child. Learn to be flexible, learn some give and take (as long as he does it for you too) and let her have nice experiences with you both.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 09/08/2024 20:10

I think you should send an email in writing after the trip that it's illegal and you could have called the police for child abduction. If in future he doesn't give you x amount of notice then you'll call the police and stop it happening and the child will know that it's your exes fault not yours. But only if you're willing to follow through.
Why does he have the passport?

Refugenewbie · 09/08/2024 20:10

Did you ask for his approval when you took the child away?

Misthios · 09/08/2024 20:06

So you took them away and that was fine even though he didn't approve it, but you don't think he should take then away? Sounds fair.🙄

PrawnAgain · 09/08/2024 20:05

This is sounds very unhealthy. What is your coparenting relationship like? Why does he require your permissiom to pick her up from school? You say he is controlling but this post makes you sound controlling.

Are you actually concerned for her safety or is this a control thing?

Would taking action be in your daughter's best interest?

Snacksgalore · 09/08/2024 20:03

Is the trip all within the usual time he has DD?

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