Do take action on him taking child abroad without my consent...

You do have a few options.

1. you can put the child on a no fly list, if the concern is he won't return them
2. go to court and have your holiday approved, if he won't give you the child's passport Is he still going to return her at the correct day/ time even with not being where he said he would? Can you go to court and have a set parenting plan, since you seem to be in a high conflict situation, and which will not be good for the child long term

“Not sure what I should do - he has gone and is currently travelling.”

Not a lot really you can do tbh, he should of told you before the day his plans so you could get your head around the child leaving the country but he is her dad and you’ve said it’s during his time.

If you're genuinely concerned about her safety then that's another issue.

Otherwise, despite how unfair this all feels I think you should be as positive as possible about it to him. She might in fact have a great time. If he's controlling he will want a reaction. This can all get terribly toxic. It sounds like you may have zero choice but to co parent with this person and not reacting strongly is the best tool you have. You're also showing how very reasonable you are in writing should things ever go further.

Look up the ' yellow rock method ' of communication. It's for dealing with narcissistic people. I think it's generally a good technique for difficult people in general.

I wouldn't keep asking for permission ref your holiday. It all sounds really petty and unnecessary. I'd just say ' Hey, hope you're well. I've planned a holiday on xyz for xyz and I. If there's anything you want to discuss just let me know '.

when DD is back, why not report her passport as stolen & get a replacement?

of course he could play the same game - when does it expire?

So you would have said no?

Based on what reason?

The old MN double standard.

Why didn’t you report the passports stolen?

I don’t think there’s much point in objecting now unless you think she’s in danger. The lower key your response, the less satisfaction you will give him.

If he’s a controlling arsehole then this kind of scenario will appeal to his agenda of always having the upper hand.
Controlling people won’t change.
If you look up taking a child abroad on the gov website it lists permission. I don’t know how many people get stopped for a letter. That would be marvellous for many people is your situation, particularly if you haven’t been told where they are staying just for emergency purposes.

I don't think that you should react. You need to sort out proper arrangements including holidays. By the sounds of it you'll need her passport, or you won't be going anywhere. It's usual for the parent who the child resides with has the passport. He can't block the family holiday in 2025. But likewise nether can you if he plans one as well.

Yes, take action.
He's using your child as a pawn in a game.

Your child being shipped to another city when you've come to collect her on your day is no better. If she's injured/seriously unwell/homesick/is looking forward to spending time with you it can be extremely distressing trying to find ways of getting to her quickly. Your poor little girl must wonder where she's going to be next when she sees her dad!

Now she's abroad. You do not know where about, who she's interacting with and he keeps lying. He told you one thing initially and then said she's in Spain. He's being deceitful which could cause you to become anxious each time she's with him, not knowing where she might end up... which could possibly be part of the reason he's doing it.

You can't relax, he's in control.
Also, he's using the "well you did it first" to imply you're just as bad as each other at last minute decisions to travel abroad. Unless this is realistic, it would suggest he's trying to make his games seem normalised.

I get it OP. In not giving you a clear answer about your trip to Spain (have I understood that correctly?) He essentially cornered you into only having 2 options- go and be told you didn’t have permission, or stay and be told you could have gone. Neither appealing. and obv this created a load of unnecessary stress and can now be held over you. Not answering questions is a means of control, him not giving a clear response at the time is unacceptable game playing with your child.

It is unacceptable that he’s taken your child out of the country without asking you, firstly legally and secondly it’s inflammatory and is going to make you feel very anxious.
it is also extremely concerning that he thinks he can collect your child during your schedule time without your agreement

If I have understood you correctly It’s extremely unfair of people telling you you are playing games, there’s no way to coparent peacefully with someone who pulls this shit

it sounds as though you think your child will be safe and will be returned back to the UK, so I would get something in writing to him that you didn’t agree to either trip and you want to have a good coparenting relationship so next time let’s talk about it.

I would then get some legal advice, there is a free directory of family court barristers who do direct access work, and you can often speak to them quickly to discuss what your options are. I wouldn’t be going to court over this, but it does seem to be escalating so you want to make sure you’ve documented it properly at the very least.

Don’t let him drag you into conflict. Stay calm. Give yourself a hug, it’s fucking horrible but it will pass

Please don’t. It all sound toxic tit for tat on both sides!

both of you find something else to fight over. Did you have travel insurance when you went to Spain?

Is he a good dad or do you have concerns?

If he is a good dad then I would tell him “ a heads up would have been nice like you gave him but it sounds like a great idea and the kids will love it”.

Don’t let him think he’s got one over on you.

If you do have concerns then that’s a different story.

What's the legal situation? Is there a court order in place regarding custody?

If not then focus your energy on getting that in the works ASAP.

How has he managed to get the passport?

You both need to grow up and stop playing control games.

Will he care for and live his child whilst on holiday?

If the answer is yes then pack in the drama.

If the answer is no then why are you allowing any contact at all.

He's trying to mess with you.

Unless you have concerns about him returning your child (he has dual nationality etc.) I'd let it go.

How old is she?
5 or 15 - it makes a difference.

Probably seen it on mn where it’s frequently suggested.

If he has PR he does not need anyone’s permission to pick his child up from school.

or for anything else, except taking her out the country.

just the same as mum doesn’t need his permission to take her out of school or anything else.

Well if he gets stopped on his way out or back and they ask for the consent letter he will be a bit screwed unless he's forged one

Is there a reason you would have said no? If you have no valid safety concerns, then there's no reason why he shouldn't take her away during his time.