To stop lift sharing because she criticises my driving?

This. I wouldn't care about the criticism, although she's very rude, and praising herself when she can't afford to not concentrate on driving.

If she's an unsafe driver and you've witness ed this more than once, then that would be the end of it for me.

Yep, I'd stop giving her lifts.

There's nothing like someone constantly criticising your driving to knock your confidence and actually make your a worse driver.

Be direct with her and say no way will you be driving her again because she's rude.

That's why I said some autistic people. This one is obviously like I'm describing. Others will be like you are describing. As you say, we are all different.

Ah, she's one of those drivers, "confident". It's not confidence, it's dangerous arrogance. She's going to crash one day and you don't want to be in the car with her, so just stop. It's got nothing to do with autism or anything else, it's down to arrogant drivers who are simply showing off. I'm a terrible driver and a nervous passenger, so I don't drive and have promised myself I'll never get in a car again with someone who drives badly. One ex-friend saw a 50mph limit as the speed to aim for, that you were doing something wrong if you didn't hit that speed, we nearly left the road on a moorland hill because of that, they thought it was hilarious, it was fucking terrifying. Sounds like she does the same. Just say you've decided you are going to drive alone from now on, it's your down time. She'll push back and have a strop because she wants a captive audience for her showing off, be resolute.

Obviously everyone’s different, but the autistic people I know are very keen on rules and would point out that someone was going 32mph in a 30mph limit or whatever. They’d carefully drive under the limit all the time.

Just stop sharing. If you carry on and it gets more tense, it could cause trouble at work. You're colleagues, after all. She's irritating you when you drive, AND frightening you when she drives, so just knock it on the head now. "It's not working for me".

Don't bother giving her lifts any more and don't ever get in her car when she's ''driving'', it sounds like she should be banned from the road. Not worth putting your life in danger for for Miss-Gobby-Knickers!

Even if you can somehow get her to stop being so critical of your driving, I definitely wouldn’t be a passenger in her car once a week if she drives as you say she does.

Be very straight with her. It might save your life!
I would tell her that you’ve been thinking about the journey to work situation and have given it a good try but don’t feel safe with her driving so you won’t be risking the journey in her car any more, as it’s far too unsafe/scary/uncomfortable. If she would like to still come with you once a week, that’s fine, she is welcome to do that, but she must pay x amount for the lift but more importantly, she must stop with the back-seat driving as it’s distracting you and again, for your own safety, you won’t tolerate it any more.

I have realised, at the age of 59, that certain things are just not for me and I will never ,ever entertain doing them again. One of them is lift sharing. If the subject comes up I just politely say that I don't do that and prefer to drive myself. Alone. I have always found lift sharing a very stressful experience. You are not obligated to share Op.

I would just stop the lift sharing. She criticizes your driving and you don't like her driving either because it's unsafe.
So just say to her that you've decided to stop lift sharing because you find it too stressful and from X date you'll be driving separately. And then stick to that.

That wouldn't for me. Being driven to work by a bad driver, and the same bad driver criticising me. I'd just stop it. I like to arrive in work not stressed out of my head.
Her autism wouldn't factor in my decision.

give her one more lift.
when she criticises you, stop.
Make her get out - she's so confident, she can find her own way.

If you're on a motorway maybe wait until you've left it.

I'd stop sharing with her before she kills you. Don't be driven by an unsafe driver!

Say if you continue to criticise my driving I am afraid I will have to drive to work solo.
See what she says. And if she continues follow through.

Have you or other colleagues explained to her that criticism and put downs aren't ok? If not, I'd be direct and let her know that making comments about your driving isn't ok and you won't life share with her in future if she continues. If she's generally quite regularly rude to people around her and tries to justify it with 'I think I'm autistic' I'd probably be less patient.

I’d be more concerned about her driving than her criticism of yours.

I’d simply say that lift sharing is no longer working for you so you won’t be doing any longer. No ned to go into any details.

Be direct, just not unkind. ND people can often handle and even appreciate directness far more than NT people.

"I don't like it when you criticise my driving. Please don't do that."

Edited to add: No idea how that GIF got there, and when I try to edit there's nothing for me to remove!

Edited again: I agree with others who say stop the lift share if she is a dangerous driver. Life really is too fragile and too precious.

This

Honestly I'd stop this arrangement.

A relative was killed while travelling to work and being driven by a colleague.

Work journey or not, I wouldn't continue to be driven by someone I considered to be an unsafe driver.

This with bells on!
There’s no way I’d put up with this back seat driver without loudly pointing out her dick moves. If I ever got in her car again that is - she sounds dangerous.

Speaking as an autistic person myself I would ask that you please try to tactfully tell her to stop. Give her a chance to change. If she can't change then YWNBU to stop the arrangement.

Don't do this while either of you is driving. You need to either talk about it shortly before parting ways so that she has time to process it, or consider sending it by text/email.

Start with "I need to talk to you about something that's important to be because it's making me feel so uncomfortable I'm considering stopping liftsharing but I'd like to talk to you about it to see if it's something that can change."

"I do understand that you find it helpful to process things by having a running commentary on what's happening. However when you give me any feedback about my driving, I experience that as quite stressful criticism which makes it more difficult for me to drive with you in the car. Linked to that, when you are driving and you compliment your own skills, I find that stressful because I feel I've been criticised all the time when I'm driving and I don't mention it when you make mistakes so it just makes it feel so imbalanced for me"

"Can we please agree that from now on neither of us will comment out loud on the quality of either our own or each other's driving whether positive or negative, and we just talk about something else?"

This
Assert yourself @wmbargo!

OP, which bothers you more, her unsafe driving or her criticism of your driving? If you tell her to stop with the criticism you’re still left with being a passenger.

You can easily put a stop to both!

Good luck. Plain language will help no end, regardless of whether she’s autistic or not.

My dad would think they were! Some autistic people are extremely set in what they've decided the world is or should be. She sounds just like my dad and he would firmly believe he was "just stating facts" and that it's therefore not upsetting. There's no point arguing over that bit, just introduce a rule - no commenting.