To think life with one child looks soooo easy

You have 2, so your answer is not based on reality. And you are wrong.

Have you tried being a playmate for your child throughout his life?

Have you felt the grief of having only one when you would have loved to have more than one?

Have you been on holiday and wistfully looked at other families with ready-made buddies going to children's activities whilst your child feels nervous, but you can't escort them in because it's a child-only zone?

I could go on and on...

BUT there are many pluses too. Like affording to give your child a lot of what they ask for because, well, there's only one of them.

Full attention to the child because there aren't others vying for attention.

Days out are easy and can be impromptu because of fewer people to organise for.

On and on .....

No one has it easier or harder. Each situation has its nice and not so nice bits. Just count your blessings and keep it moving.

Why is it not okay to say? I was a very sad and lonely only child. I know that’s not the case for all only children, but I don’t like the idea that my experience has to be invalidated just because it makes some parents feel bad?

There are 'cons'.
One of which is I'm constantly taking mine to various clubs, outings and meetups so he gets to socialize outside of school... And the summer holidays, if you can't afford or are unable to get away on a trip, can be extremely lonely for an only child.

Congratulations! How wonderful after all your fertility ordeal, reasonable people know nothing is black & white x

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂<pause for breath> 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Never get of the PFB stage???.....I was never in it with DD.

Whether things are easy or hard is dependent on so many variables, can’t see the point in trying to work out which one is ‘harder’..We all just do the best we can.

It's perfectly possible for children to have siblings and still be lonely, I think it's weird that some people with two or more are so sure they've made the "better" choice - it's subjective and unique to each family.

We stuck at one because of very negative experiences with siblings, so please don't rely on them "looking after each" other in childhood and beyond.

One suits us perfectly, and we both love hanging out with her - it definitely seems easier to me, but as shown on this thread, it's all relative (pun very much intended). I think kids are bloody marvellous, no matter how many are in a family.

It's just my opinion and in my opinion play dates and cousins aren't enough. You are welcome to your opinion as well.

I'd love another but am too worried that existing cat won't like it - he is a bit of a precious, spoiled fur brat and I am more than a bit of a crazy cat lady!

I found having one really really hard work. My easiest stage was when I had three, now I have four and that’s pretty busy. I think how hard or easy it is depends on the kids and the stages they’re at and which of them like or hate each other that day!

when they all get along it’s fine, when they all argue it’s hell!

Having two doesn't mean they have an automatic playmate @SweetLining! I have one of each and they couldn't be more different in personalities. Up to age four or five yes they did stuff together as I took them to things together. Once school starts they had less time together and at secondary only spent time together if on holiday. By 14/16 minimal. This in itself make it harder as they like completely different things, so I seem to spend time with one or the other not both.

That's a fair point, but there's clubs & soft play, soccer camps or GAA pretty much everywhere, I'm aware the costs for some of these might be out of peoples budget
But honestly an only child is not "missing out" on a sibling relationship, there was 11 years between my sister & I, we had no "bond"

Oooh your last line is so touching. I have one and I would have had another however at the time life was busy and hectic. My ex was rubbish and I changed my mind about baby no2 as it was always left to me. When DS turned 3 I really wanted another. DS is 9 now and I haven't met anybody who's suitable to have another baby!

I am an only child and longed for a sibling - I have 2 DC with a large age difference apart meaning they don't play together as they are both different ages and stages - don't think anyone has the balance just right😫

I had one for 11yrs, then I had 2 more and it was easier with 2 as they entertained each other.

they are only little (3 and 13 months.)

Ah - you’re at the most difficult point! Both mobile, both need supervising, but not able to amuse each other. Give it another year and it will be much easier. Give it another 18 months/2 years and they will play with each other and be able to amuse each other and life should be much easier. I remember the point at which my DH and I were able to sit, drink in hand, just keeping a watchful eye while they had a whale of a time together. Hang on in there…..

I wonder if that was what meant by 'things'. A lot of onlies get to do all that, because their folks have the resources to do them because they only had one.
My eldest did quite a lot of toddler classes but by the time the third came along it all felt much more complicated so I did less organised stuff and they became quite feral ( I mean that quite light-heartedly)

…and cheap 😭

wouldn't give up mine for anything and maybe my friends with one would rather have had more.

holidays are unaffordable, and have just had to fork out $1800 for school band fees with two of them in it this year. Le sigh. But worth it

Get two cats.

If you are lucky they will get on, if you are unlucky they will wind each other up. (We have that.)

Not sure who you're looking at but my single child isn't lonely and rarely bored. Sad that you make such a sweeping statement and feel you are correct when you are very wrong.

I’m finally 15 weeks pregnant with a much wanted little boy. I’m approaching 40 after nearly 10 years of infertility, pregnancy loss and endless cycles of fertility treatment and honestly after everything we have gone through to get this far, all the anxiety and sickness and stress that have gone with this cycle of ivf and this pregnancy and also losing a baby at 8 weeks (this started as a twin pregnancy) I’m not planning on doing it again. I don’t think my body or nervous system could take it. I’m an only child, as my son will be and I have never been lonely. I had a great childhood and it’s insulting, small minded and mum shaming to say that only children miss out, or having one is selfish.

Well I'm just glad we both had lovely holidays regardless of how many kids we had 😂

But I look after my nephew and neice sometimes and I'm like "How the fuck do you do this, you need eyes in the back of your head!"

I learnt to have eyes in the back of my head when when I got used to looking after 5 children. Oddly it was easy because they were all different ages. However looking after 3 or more children the same age is absolute hell.

By comparison looking after my DD, who is my only, is easy. She's always been able to occupy herself for short periods since she was born and these periods have got longer.

With more than one child if there is bickering followed by silence then they are up to no good and doing something destructive. This happens when DD is with SC. With my DD alone if there is silence she drawing, constructing something or reading.

I had 3. All adults now and I really miss those days when they were little but at the time it was hard. It soon passes. Not much help really but everything passes.

I have two, but our littlest didn’t arrive until the eldest was 7.

Spending time one on one is nothing like parenting an only. For a start, my eldest is always so delighted to have our undivided attention now, it’s like a dream! Before, it was very full-on, playing, taking him places, basically him saying he was getting bored and wanting to do more. Now him and the little one just climb all over each other and are happy as until one annoys the other!

I don’t find it more stressful now, just different challenges.