To think life with one child looks soooo easy

Both DH and I come from big families so DS has 18 first cousins, and he's very close to the ones close in age to him. There's ones that are young adults now but they still hang out with the littler ones and I hope that closeness continues to grow in adulthood. He's practically a baby brother to some of them!

What a weird and unnecessary comment! It’s perfectly fine to just have one child. Have a think of how your silly comment might make people feel if they wanted more children but couldn’t have them. Some people!

Agreed. I am glad that I will at least never have to go through the pain of losing a sibling.

Very sorry for your loss.

I barely got reciprocation as well but I kinda knew that, given that the other mothers had younger kids as well as working. I didn't mind though.

I brought DS to an amusement park recently and the money for his friends tickets was money well spent because I chilled with my travel mug and kindle app while they went on the rides. I hate roller coasters and DH has vertigo symptoms so it was worth every penny!

Even worse if you have a sibling and they die young.

There's no perfect situation.

Bravo!👏

If I may, please could I offer my perspective as an adult only child? If your only child has cousins, I think it would be a good idea to try to build strong bonds with them to last into adulthood. I have 2 cousins, but we have never been close and I never see or speak to them now. I know that once my parents have gone, I will have nobody to share my memories of them or my childhood with, and that makes me extremely sad.

Definitely romanticised. I remember there was once a thread about who had experienced sibling abuse and was surprised how rife it was and how it was (not) dealt with at all by parents who all basically turned a blind eye. It was genuinely gut wrenching to read.

And then there's his inheritance. He will never need to worry about affording his own home or have to split it with siblings. He'll get our house. That's something my neighbour worries about for her 3 kids - that even with an inheritance and a partner to share a mortgage, that house prices might be out of their reach.

The financial benefits of being an adult only child are often overlooked I think - I have measurably more financial security than I would have had if there were siblings in my family, in quite a meaningful and significant way. I understand it’s not ‘the point’ of having a family but when I see posts where people feel they should ‘give their child a sibling’ I do think, well they might appreciate a house deposit more. But obviously you can’t know in advance which one they will appreciate most lol. It’s juts often not mentioned on these threads.

I have two and find it relatively easy. Easier than when I just had one, as they entertain eachother so I don't have to 😄. I remember endless hours sitting there playing peppa pig when my eldest was two, but when her sister was the same age, they played together so and I didn't need to do that crap again. There's an only child across the road from us who's constantly asking if mine want to go to play with her, I'm guessing as she doesn't have anyone at home to play with. Mine never say they're bored as thry have eachother. I'm lucky in that thry get on really well, others I know with two hate eachother and I can completely see in that situation why it would be more difficult than just having one.

Oh yeah, absolutely! I have four. Our besties have one. We’ve been friends since school and our last happened to coincide with their one. They’re now 3 and also besties.

They live such a calmer life now. I always wanted a big family and know I luck out when they’re teens/adults (last is quite a lot younger, and a different sex, so those dynamics will be interesting).

There is no right or wrong. I chose chaos, but it won’t always be chaos. Already the older ones are fantastic together (nearly, to early,to mid teens). Youngest is 3.

Don't judge yourself on your friends. Your family is correct because it is.

I found having only one child meant entertaining everyone else's children during the holidays so she wouldn't be lonely. Rarely reciprocated.

I have two, when one of them is out and i only have one child to look after it feels like a lot less than 50% of the work if that makes sense.

It's so great when they play together nicely though 😊 mine have the same age gap as yours op but a bit older, they play together loads now

It depends on the type of holiday maybe?
I can only speak for our family but while we do two weeks somewhere hot, we don't tend to stick around the hotel, we never really have. We are out at the beach or waterpark or on boat trips /sightseeing. DS gets two parent's sole attention. We tag team so DH might take him snorkelling while I have a read of my book on the beach then I'll take over and we'll go hunting in the rockpools.

DS is 12 now so it's less work than when he was a toddler. We never did kids clubs - mainly because throughout the year we used to have long commutes so often he was in childcare from 8am to 6pm so he deserved a holiday from milling around with other kids too. He liked the one on one with us and was gutted that we couldn't afford a holiday this year.

I weirdly find 2 easier. Though I'm still on maternity leave so that may change when I'm back at work 🙈

I was miserable in the early days with my first, though it was lockdown which didn't help. I was very lonely, it was so quiet, I had to entertain a baby alone all day at home. This time round my 4 year old is so fun and he's great with the baby. Life is full of fun and laughter and is busy in a lovely way.

Yanbu. Its why we stopped at 1.

People say 2 play together and whitening remember some lovely times with my sibling, I also remember the endless fighting and bickering and competition.

Two is twice the individual work, plus refereeing.

DD is 6 and gets herself up and dressed for school, does her number work and off we go. Home, snack, change of clothes and reads quietly for a hour.

Doninlove then idea of more kids? Absolutely. But only because I love what i have and want more of the same and thats not what 2 kids looks like.

I’ve been judged for having one but I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. Everybody is different - my sister has 4 - but a 1 /2 / 3 child family comes with different challenges. With 1 I have to make sure she gets the opportunity to engage and interact with other children. She’s spending a proportion of the holidays at holiday clubs. I do look around sometimes and she’s playing in the park in her own whereA with 2 they have each other.

Absolutely. I was waiting for this too.

We have one child, and that's all we wanted. It was the right decision for us financially and as a family. What's right for you doesn't mean it is right for everyone - everyone is different. Some people can be quite judgmental, which is downright rude. Sibling relationships can be complex, as both my husband and I have experienced. Anyway, focus on yourself and your kids and leave ridiculous assumptions out of it.

I always think it would be 'easier' with two as they could entertain each other. It's not necessarily calmer with one - it depends on your child's personality.

I also don't want to have to deal with two of the one I have. My life certainly isn't calm. I think it's just hard no matter how many children you have and you'll never know one way or the other because you have two (and I have one!).

Good luck for your holiday ❤️

I agree. Of my three children, only one is living. He is beyond precious. My DS wanted a sibling, wants a sibling, it breaks his heart that his brother and sister died. It breaks my heart ever day for all of them.

He has an older, adult brother who he adores, but he wants someone to be in his house, play, be silly with, argue and bicker with, have a shared childhood with. That is what we wanted for him.

I think people who glibly post about how awful it is for children to be an only often can't see past their own (good or bad) experiences and don't necessarily consider the heartbreak behind the reality of an only child family.

Is it or is it trying to point out it is what it is? Honestly it isn’t the number imo it’s the personality of the children and your set up. I can guarantee my larger family is WAY easier than some smaller families.

I just wonder how you keep 1 entertained all the time?I e play and interact all the time. On holidays they have so much fun wherever we go whatever we do.
Does 1 have as much fun?

Surely we all do the best we can to provide a stable and loving life with opportunities for our children whether we have 1 or more. All of us will have stresses and easier times

The people judging families with only one living child really need to reflect on how their casual criticism can hurt others.

In my case, I've had two children but only one is alive today. Every time someone decides they need to tell me that DC's life must be sad and lonely without a sibling, is a time when that wound gets opened up again.