To think life with one child looks soooo easy

It’s a poster, likely female, attacking and judging other women over their parenting,. That’s what it means,

I have two dds aged 9 and 11 and although it was tough when they were preschool age I find it easier having two now.

They do argue at times but they also keep each other occupied a lot, right now we're at our caravan and they've gone off to the park together which is something I wouldn't let them do alone.
At home they'll get the craft stuff out and make things together or meet up in Roblox or Minecraft, it's like having a friend there without me having to invite someone else's round.

Whenever one of them is out and I'm back to having an only i do find that i feel pressured to keep them occupied or do something to stop them being bored but that's probably all in my head.

I do wonder if it'll get tricky again when they're teenagers and the hormones kick in.

Some of these posts are sad , about it being boring lonely no laughs , glad they have each other stuff.

it wasn’t my experience , I have one by choice, mine had lots of play dates ,loads of good friends,lots of playing with my husband growing up. Games, football, PlayStation, , I was more the reader, chatter, organiser, confidente.

I found it easy with one,and we did everything as a three,

I think you do what’s right for you and no one should judge anyone else,woman on woman judgement on this can be horrible, as a pp said you either find it stressful or not. I see so many posts on here from people who find caring for their child hard work, a chore, something to fight over, I was lucky in that we never felt like that.

What does that even mean?!

Not true in all cases. My friend has an only and her life is not her own at all. He’s eleven.

My cousin is a one and only and he is still 100% reliant on his mum at 55!

I think that makes a lot of sense. It just got easier and easier for us.

I have 4, a dog and the cat and the other day only had my youngest and he ran rings around me and stressed me out!!😅😉

@PeatandDieselfan I tend I agree with this a little bit also tbh just from observation of friends with one but maybe only when they are small.
I think it’s one of those things that is easier when they are smaller tbh , I mean obviously it’s way easier. Like even thinking about how many years it take from baby to toddler to young child etc and then multiply that by how many kids you have. In my case 3 times so the baby /toddler years went on for at least 8 years !!
Buuuuuuuut I don’t think it’s easier at all once they are older , my neighbour has 4 dcs and they are older than mine and when they were small the parents absolutely exhausted and drained (they had no support like my dh and I) and run ragged. They are all older now and I see them now returning from uni and college and it looks fab. Genuinely, the parents have de-aged and it just looks so nice , their birthdays and Christmas celebrations, I met them out in the pub the last day and the parents looked so happy to have them back home for the holidays. The kids had clubbed together to get the parents a lovely hotel voucher for their anniversary.
I’m sure they don’t get on all the time but they definitely have each other and it looks great! Mine are getting older and they hang out together (all the same sex) and have more and more in common , the older ones look out for the younger one and it just feels nice to be together, they are a real team. They always attract other kids on holidays !
So although we were absolutely shattered for years when they were small so a good 8 years of exhaustion and it’s still tiring , I like the way it’s going now they are getting older but yes of course it’s easier with just one small kid.

Exactly! Siblings can die, get ill, become estranged, or simply never be that close in the first place. I think women in particular really romanticize sibling relationships. Honestly, as someone in their mid-50s, I’ve seen a few adult sibling relationships that are good and a lot that are not-so-good. I myself have three siblings, and my relationships with them are generally fine, but we’re not super-close, and I have my times of feeling alone in the world and also my times of feeling close and happy with my own small (husband and son) family, as I think we all experience in the range of human emotions. Siblings are NOT the end all, be all. And, btw, my young adult son is perfectly happy being an only child!

No one should have another child if they don’t want one just to give their kid a sibling. End of.

Yep, looks rather easy. I have twins so have never had to parent just one as we went in at the deep end with 2

I have no judgement to cast on other people's families, or on what circumstances led them to have the number of children they have.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Sending thoughts to all on this thread who have struggled with their fertility or experienced bereavement.

I think it depends on the children. Some are more high maintenance than others, ha.

Also, be aware that a lot of parents of one did not choose to have one, they had secondary fertility.

I was addressing the OP who I think should be glad that she has more than one.

If you're that sensitive, maybe stay off of the internet.

I think it's often a case of the 'grass is greener'.

I am the eldest of three. Yes, I had the 'instant' playmate with the middle sibling. Though we didn't always get on and she's admitted that she was often jealous of not being 'the eldest' or 'the baby' of the family.

When I became a teenager I resented the 'look after your sisters' if mum and dad went out to the shops or when both of them were at work during the school holidays. Or 'can you take your sister with you' if I went out for a walk by myself on holiday. All I wanted to do was to be a brooding teenager on my own!

Fast forward to a few years ago. Decisions had to be made about my mum's care at one point (dad had died a few years prior). It almost turned to WWIII on a few occasions when one wanted care to go one way and the others wanted it to go in a different direction. Having siblings just made decisions harder to reach sometimes. As a family, we do all get along very well, but that caused a number of difficult and heated conversations that DS will never have to have - he'll have to shoulder the full responsibility though which is the flip side of that coin.

Our DS is an only (started late). The hard bit was making sure he had the chance to make friends when he was younger (he's an older teen now so is more than happy to sort himself out).

The easy bits were that, if we wanted to go away or have a day out we only had one child's needs to sort out. We weren't dealing with a baby and a toddler or a pre teen and teen who both wanted/needed different things.

We only have to get one child to one school. I have friends who have a journey in one direction for one child and then nursery in the opposite direction for the younger one.

We only have one set of school holidays to negotiate. Again some friends have a child in junior school that finished a week later than the one at secondary school this summer. And will have the opposite issue when they go back so their available holiday time as a family is less.

And his best friend's mum now has to ferry her eldest to football practice, get home then ferry the youngest to tennis then go and pick up the eldest twice a week! I'm knackered thinking about it!

And, of course, we have more money to spend on DS - which is just as well as university is looming so every penny is being counted! I don't know how parents with kids a couple of years apart manage that.

So would it have been nicer/easier having a sibling for DS? Absolutely no idea. Any more than I have any idea whether it would have been great or not have been an only child myself. There's no right or wrong, no ideal number of kids. Because every kid is different so every family is different.

Thank you for this. I love having one but sometimes worry that I've done her a disservice.

Yes, that’s why we had one, one is easy.

@CoffeeGood Same, such rude thoughtless & arrogant comments

We haven't failed our children. Anyone who says we have doesn't know what they're talking about.

I'm currently on hol with my two and when the oldest takes ages to come down to the pool the younger one is way too needy and uses the word Mum far too much so no, I wouldn't want just one and don't think for a minute it would be easier 🤣

Some of us didn't get a choice in the matter so thanks for telling me I failed my child.

This is interesting as I think I'm far too lazy to have a second, I enjoy drinking my coffee in peace, why would I give that up to have another child

I have one and it has been pretty easy. Even as a totally lone parent I haven't had too hard a time. That's why I stopped at one! I often wonder why women make their lives so bloody hard by having multiple children and then living such stressful and tiring lives. I know it's probably worth it in the end, especially when I see my mum with her brood of loving adult kids around her, but I also think yes but you missed out on a career, knackered your body and stuck it out in a fairly toxic marriage because of all the kids you had. Personally I would always speak positively about stopping at one. The urge to reproduce is met but you can still have a nice life 🤷🏼‍♀️

I have 3 now and I remember when we only had one (6 year age gap), honestly, life was easy. DD1 was an easy baby, toddler, etc, we could travel easily with her, only have to think about her really when it comes to everything from homework, activities, etc. Now we have 3 and we have to consider all of them with everything really and I can say 1 was easier.
We’re currently on holiday and dh and I just said how easier it’ll be to just sit around the pool, reading a book whilst DD1 and 2 entertain themselves as they’re currently doing but we have a 1 year old that we’ve been running after, entertaining, someone having to come to the bedroom so he can nap, etc and it hasn’t been the most relaxing time. When he’s older, I’m sure it’ll be better because we can see lots of 3 children and more families whose kids are older doing just that.
I think with all these, we all adapt to what we have. Lots of happy and balanced families with no children, 1,2,3 etc, comparison is the thief of joy really. Be happy and grateful for what you have and that’ll be all you need really

Me too 🤣 whenever I have two I always think god this is a pile of piss. I obviously don’t say that to all my friends who have two when they’re moaning though!

im sure people with 4 think 3 is super easy too!