He does not want to work

A friend has absolutely crippling arthritis but he worked FT until recent retirement and swam most days to help. He also engages with medical professionals re drugs etc to manage his condition.
Sorry to say your other half is opting out of finding some work that can be managed with arthritis. Ultimatum time!

So He knew his money was coming to an end and he made no plans going forward to work, re-train, look for jobs, volunteer (to get experience) etc?

Sorry, you gave a cocklodger on your hands.

Firstly there is no such thing as a common law husband.. That's positive as you don't need to divorce
Many people with disabilities work obviously sports coaching is not the best plan but he could do a desk job or anything really
He may have Arthritis but his main diagnosis is lazy- itis

physiotherapist here. We do a programme called GLA:D - Good Living with Arthritis from Denmark. It sounds similar to what @Happyher did through her gym. An exercise programme with a home follow up. I'm sure your local NHS has similar. We have very positive results.

As a rule of thumb, on a scale of 0-10, if your pain is below 5, continue with your exercise. 6-10 rest. Your partner has gamed the system and, to me, fraudulently claimed he 'couldn't' work whereas he really 'wouldn't' work. Mild to moderate arthritis is manageable and people are in all sorts of jobs with it.

BTW can't you lose money too with online trading? I'd be giving this man an ultimatum - job or leave, immediately.

@what2do2donow

Do you rent? Privately? Housing Ass? Or Council?

Do you own?

Whose name is on tenancy or deeds?

Most "online trading" is a scam, and even if he's genuinely doing trading legitimately himself he is highly likely to lose money - you need to know more about what scheme he's got himself into, what platforms he's using, any agents, google the shit about them plus the word Scam to see if it is a scam, and even if it isn't, agree with him how big his pot of money for gambling (which is what it is) is. Which I would set pretty fucking low, because I'd bet money(!) on him net losing money, and that's family money that should be supporting his struggling family. I don't blame you for getting your ducks in a row to leave.

You dump him, that’s what you do, and get on with your life. What a waste of space.

I have one like that. He's leaving next week. Even now he's looking to benefits and has talked about asking his dad for help. There are jobs in McDonalds paying more than he'll get on benefits but no, he couldn't just work to get money. The relief I'm starting to feel now the end is in sight is immense. You know you'll feel the same. What I'm learning is that a partner is supposed to be in a partnership with you, and that means you balance the load between you not defer everything to one because the other is down. I also learned that people with depression will feel bad about not doing things that their partner needs them to do. No such self-awareness here, just an ongoing pity party. Did he contribute more before he went on long term sick? Has he after made you feel looked after/secure/loved? It was a big fat now for me, when I asked myself that.

Oh wait hang on, he is still getting an insurance pay out? Does it have an end date?

YANBU. Arthritis in the knee, even if very bad, doesn't exclude you from doing a job that involves sitting down. There are lots of those.

I'd bet my bottom dollar that if you left him, he'd find a job sharpish. He just thinks he needn't bother.

Who pays for the football tickets?

What’s your housing situation?

I would make my financial plans then dump him.

So - not much. No cleaning, no cooking, no meal planning, no grocery shopping, no mental load. Just watching the telly and school runs. And some errands.

There are non-financial contributions to the household, it isn't necessary for someone to be working and bringing home a wage for them to be pulling their weight. But he's making close to zero contribution, isn't he?

He could retrain in something sedentary, unless he's too stupid. The job centre could probably make suggestions...

I have knee arthritis which was initially very painful but after 6 month at gym twice a week it’s very manageable and I could do any job that doesn’t require a lot of standing or walking. I did the Nuffield Health joint pain programme which gives you free access to their gyms for 6 months and some sessions on pain management, diet, exercise, sleep etc. it changed my life. Can now walk 4 miles and pain is just a minor annoyance.

I used to work in a police control room and some of my colleagues were in wheelchairs. If he wanted to work, he would be working.

He is unemployed for 3 years. His last hospital admission was 2 years ago.

When you say he hasn't mussed a football match in 3 years do you mean on tv or standing/sitting watching for 90 minutes in all weathers. If the latter he's just lazy.
Not a good role model for the children.

You're in a good position, not married, main earner, already used to doing everything for everyone, somewhere to live.

So kick him out. It will be less hassle and work for you, day to day.

If he wanted a job he would get one, and if you make him he will end up quitting or being fired. Not a good example for your kids.

A lot of ppl seem to indicate he could do a desk job etc but we haven't heard how recently his arthritis flared up. You mention hospital but when did he come out of hospital?

PS Coaching is a bad idea - because if seen it could kill his benefits (even if volunteering and only able to do a couple of hours due to pain).

good grief - you got stuck with a lazy one there
get rid !!!

He's in his mid 40's and only worked low paid jobs for about 10 years only before the arthritis

So what was he doing from 18-mid thirties?

He may have arthritis- he also has 'lazyitis ' there are many mumsnetters working with arthritis, cancer, Chronic blood illnesses, MS - you name it- if it's bad then yes he won't do well in a physical job but there are remote call centre jobs etc out there or data admin jobs- they are in demand because others too are in this position but he isn't even trying

Are you married? If not then you're living together.

Do you think he could be depressed?