He does not want to work

I am riddled with arthritis and still work full time. What you have is a classic cocklodger.

Working at home and actually going out to work for an employer, who expects you to be reliable when you know that’s not possible all the time, are two different things.

I have a congenital disability - spina bifida. Causes all kinds of neurological problems too varied to list here. Diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis three years ago - affects hands, shoulders, and lower limbs already affected by spina bifida. I’m doubly incontinent as a result of disability, have two stomas, and have recently had a diagnosis of breast cancer. I’m still working. No alternative. I’m really sorry because I try not to judge. But if I can get my arse out to work, so can he.

He sounds a bit depressed. Arthritis can be very painful and wears you down.
Could you suggest he starts by getingt a casual job at a football stadium - selling programs, stewarding, behind the bar. At least he'd get out the house and meet some like minded people even if the money wasn't much.
I would also say he needs to teach himself to cook, one dish at a time.

The term "common law" partner does not confer any rights, it is just an archaic form of cohabiting partner, so make sure OP that you have wills etc in place as the rights of married partners don't apply.

Common Law marriage is only accepted as legally binding in UK law given very special circumstances which today are almost impossible to meet, that being that the vows were exchanged in a colony where there was no access to a registrar, cleric or notary or in a WW2 concentration camp between inmates.

I’ve had that too! I like to point out that £50 notes and house deeds are also pieces of paper…!

That said, it will work to the OP’s advantage here that they aren’t married, which is rare.

So, you know what you need to do and the best time to do it - great!
What’s the point of this thread then?

Plenty of people do sit down jobs with a bad knee/ s. Plenty live off sickness benefits too. Depends how bad it is and how much he wants to work to be honest. It sounds like he's got out of the habit of working which is understandable after two years. However he has a long time to go to retirement so needs to make a plan.

Yes he can work, many people with far worst dis-ability work

my son has Oliers disease and arthritis in his knee, he is 30 years old. This year he has undergone major surgery on his leg to lengthen the bone, this has increased the pain of his knee which they are know considering replacing in the next couple of years. He took 7 weeks of for the surgery then went back mornings only for 4 weeks and is now full time apart from hospital appointments. He’s a welder !, he drives himself to and from work, yes he does sit for his job because he’s on crutches totally non weight bearing his leg is in effect broken in 2 places and held together with pins.

i would say he’s got into a rut, maybe depression has set in. Try and get him to work part time to start with.

Other than term time school runs, errands a dishwasher duty, online whatever he is doing... what else does he contribute to the family? Obviously, financially, that's no longer happening? 2 kids under 13, it sounds like you're looking after 3 kids.

I'm glad you're open to taking some advice, but you need to act on some of it sooner rather than later. He could easily retrain or get a desk job, his reluctance is shameful.

Firstly, my neighbour's girlfriend took him to court and successfully split the house (she was not on the title), and claimed maintenance for her one child. I would not be so hasty in thinking that an English court would be OK with kicking a boyfriend out. He can jolly well claim.

You can't work due to autism, but you can do admin and issue advice on MN? I have never heard anything like this ever before....

It's lazy.

I am just sick and tired of living with a lazy deadbeat Person

Don't live with a lazy deadbeat person, then. You've already said you're planning to leave him. You don't need to find the man a job first, you know.

He sounds like a cocklodger.

No wonder you've got no respect for him.

Tsss! You will be told in a minute, like I was, to go back to the 1870s, 'because marriage is just a piece of paper'.

I would imagine that communication within this relationship is absolutely infuriating!

Are you as avoidant in real life as you are on here?

What things are going to 'fall into place' before you can leave him, though? You don't love him and you've lost any respect you had for him, so I think you're probably past the point in your relationship where it's going to make any difference whether he has a job or not.

Still confused about the house you own, but don't want to live in, although did at some point live in 'for a facade', to be honest.

So you want everyone to agree with you that he's a lazy bastard, which we've all done. You've told me off for asking what's actually stopping you leaving, as you 'have plans & intend to when things fall into place'. So what exactly is the point of continuing this thread? You've got what you wanted, you won't tell us what your 'plans' are or what you're waiting for. This whole thread seems pointless now, so I'm off to find something worth reading about.

Why are people throwing out driving jobs on this thread? Of course he can't become a taxi or bus driver with a very painful, swollen knee 🙄

I can understand why he now might be scared of returning to work, anxiety, depression etc, but that should not have stopped him from stepping up at home by him doing all the cleaning, shopping, laundry, childcare etc. I suspect the OP wouldn't be so done if he had.

I wouldn't be too sure if he is the father of your kids and puts in for custody. Get legal advice and act on it.

Just kick him out then. He's idle, taking the piss and you don't even like or respect him by the sound of it.