He does not want to work

Why not ? I was an outreach worker for the disabled and I’ve placed wheelchair users in jobs as sports coaches. If they have the skills, disability needn’t be a barrier with reasonable adjustment in place.

Typical double standards MN. If this was a disabled woman the partner would be called an abuser. Yes I think there are jobs he could do. But sports coaching - no.

She’s posted for advice. Why would you take the mick ?

I was taking the mick because the op was accusing her partner of laziness, that's all. I knew it was an abbreviation. There was no need to swear at me.

It’s an abbreviation. Grow the fuck up.

Depends on the level of disability it causes. I worked as a disability outreach worker for many years and I can tell you that whatever the disability, no two people are affected in the same way.

He has no intention of working. He's found a sap who's willing to support him. I'd send him on holiday and move out when he's gone.

Your first comment is a bit ignorant. Asking someone with arthritis to coach sport is not madness. Exercise and movement are essential to easing arthritis pain and keeping quality of life. Coaching a sport requires some movement but doesn’t mean you’re going to be putting the same sort of strain on your body as a player would.

My brother has been a PE teacher, and football & rugby coach for 35 years with arthritis and, for the last 20, a hip replacement. He’s nearly 60 now, still working and coaching. He puts most men his age to shame. His arthritis bothers him. It’s effort to get going. But his quality of life is much better than it would be if he hadn’t always pushed himself to be active.

Agreed. I hope your plans come to fruition soon, OP.

Plough on with your plans.

He is lazy and has always been lazy.
Let him co parent and sort his stuff out.

You are rightly done.
Get out asap and don't look back.

How does autism stop you working? Not criticising, just genuinely curious. I'm also Autistic and work with lots of Autistic young people.

No such thing as 'common law's anything (husband/wife). No legal standing. No legal protection if he was to get up and go, except for child maintenance. I know not what you asked about, but please be aware.

Can't he do anything on a WFH basis?

I am just sick and tired of living with a lazy deadbeat Person

So leave, and stop doing anything for him in the meantime. Don't cook for him, don't do his laundry, stop pandering to him. He has it cushy because you do everything for him. So stop.

If you understood what OP wrote then why pick her up on an abbreviation? Really unnecessary other than to highlight your own deficiency.

Yes, cancel everything that allows him to have a comfortable life c/o your hard-earned money.

Yes, slowly reduce all services that you provide. Get rid of the tv. What would he do if you left?

What sort of facade?

Do you have the proceeds of a house in your bank account or was it mortgaged?

I would have left long since as I would find it intolerable that he was watching football all day. You may find you like him more when he's not your problem any longer. Wishing you good luck.

I would think in your neighbour's case the child stayed with the mother, so the house split was to ensure the child had somewhere decent to live. I don't see the OP's partner wanting to keep the children, plus they don't own the house they are currently in.

The fact that your neighbour's girlfriend received maintenance for the child is neither here nor there. Obviously he was expected to help pay for the upkeep of his own child, but as they weren't married there was no expectation of him supporting his ex. and this would be the same for the OP.

I had a friend who (due to diabetes) had both fucking FEET amputated halfway to the knee, in his 50s. He was a newspaper reporter and never used his disability to avoid assignments; he'd go to Heathrow and other crowded, logistically difficult venues when assigned such. Factories, outdoor events, whatever. On ill-fitting prosthetics. Sometimes with two canes; he'd hang them from his forearm or his belt when taking notes.

After some years he got a modern prosthetic type he called his "bionic feet" and he normally a gruff stoic man told me he was SO happy because those feet allowed him to walk on the grass in his garden instead of being confined to the paved area. It had been years since he walked across the grass to follow his little granddaughter.

My point is that a lazy cocklodger like yours makes me so enraged when I think of that man, Joe, who ultimately died of his disease in his early 60s. He was a hard worker until nearly the very end, providing for his family.

In your shoes I would take a knife and cut the cords to the TV and turn off the WiFi. Let him sit and stare at the wall. Cancel his phone.

Give him 2 choices:

1. Find a job where he can sit down and explore medical intervention
2. Leave