He does not want to work

He's just lazy in my opinion! I've only just retired at 67, with advanced spinal stenosis, arthritis in my knee (other knee replaced), arthritis in my neck, hands and ankles too. He could easily do a sitting down job. I can't even walk more than 10 yards without a stick!

Common law husband is nothing in the UK, there is no such thing in UK law. He is your boyfriend, partner, fiance only, so you can break up and leave him without consequences. If you did that then he would be forced to claim pip or work.

Not necessarily. My husband and I both have inflammatory arthritis. He volunteers with our daughters Athletics team and I volunteer with girlguiding. As well as both doing full time jobs. Despite the pain we know it's use it or lose it, and we need to keep active for our children.

Fully appreciate everyone is different, but to say people with arthritis cannot be active and volunteer isn't helpful

Actually, most don't work at all.
And the stereotype that autistic people are tech-wizards can die a death. The one autistic guy I know who is amazing with tech can't work because of how his autism affects him.

in don’t buy that. Plenty of people with autism are well able to work.

Elon musk and most of Silicon Valley seem to do alright

One person with a disability claiming to be able to judge another’s who they’ve never met and have very limited information of

knee pain can be very disabling and very painful

OA is not usually disabling - and there are pro active ways to relieve symptoms, many mentioned on this thread, and none of which this man seems to engage with. We all have some amount of OA changes, but would not regard ourselves as disabled.
Autism OTH is a disability and @Navypinks reports her level as a disability.

I'm a similar age to your OH and have severe osteoarthritis and mangled cartilage in my knee. Knee replacement at this age is not recommended as they only last 20 years and can only be done twice, maybe three times, as they run out of bone. The second replacement typically only lasts 10 years (info from my specialist surgeon). My specialist will do the surgery but we're trying to delay as long as possible.

In the meantime, CT guided platelet rich plasma (PRP) injection has definitely helped. I've had no swelling in the knee since the injection. I have found it gave more relief than a cortisone injection. The lady doing the PRP injection commented on the state of the knee - it's not good.

I work full time but actively manage the pain (mostly gone with the PRP injection). I find a tens machine is really great. Use that as frequently as needed to help. I see an exercise physiologist fortnightly as muscle strength is important and he also works on the muscles that compensate for the knee.

As noted by others above, I work full time, so it is not an impediment. I could not do a physical job though.

This is the point isn't it: that he's using his ill health as an excuse to check out of home life. This was my situation. I seem like a heartless cow to outsiders who just hear about his MH/sexuality struggles but the fact is he couldn't even be bothered to tidy the house to welcome me back after a few days away on my birthday. It starts to feel contemptuous after a while and we also realise we deserve better. You can't work, fine. But that's not an excuse to treat your partner like your parent!

He sounds like an absolute delight. Does he have any good qualities?

You’re calling someone with as physical disability lazy, and you’ can’t work because of autism’. Please explain?!

I hope you manage to free yourself from this man. It sounds as though he’s holding you back. I know what chronic pain is. It’s horrible and debilitating but definitely not an excuse not to work. If I just had that I’d be working. As is, I am too ill to work, couldn’t even manage very part time. But I do so much in the house and for our dd.

I googled and found this from Citizens Advice:
"Although there is no legal definition of living together, it generally means to live together as a couple without being married. Couples who live together are sometimes called common-law partners. This is just another way of saying a couple are living together."

It is an old fashioned term but we all know what the op means by it.

8 pages in and people are STILL informing us that there is no such thing as a "common law spouse".

Workshy, lazy people like him make me sick. There are very few disabilities that stop people from working. Mainly profound learning disabilities.

I'm a disabled wheelchair user with multiple chronic conditions, in constant pain, most days can't get out of bed, but I still work full time. If he can sit watching the football, he can sit on a laptop and work. He can empty the dishwasher, which is more than I can do.

I can't imagine pretending I can't work because I have a bad knee, ffs. I'd kill to just have a bad knee.

Also confused as to why autism means someone can't work. In some very severe cases, yes, but if you're able to sit and write posts on Mumsnet... 🤔

I have arthritis in my left knee and fd up roght knee.

I get steroid jabs to contrpl thepain and take hemp cbd oil amongst other supplements.

I work full time, I only missed c3m working when my hubby died and the kids wrre still at school, so I had to switch from self employment to employee.

He is a Cocklodger, you need to decide if he's an expense you can afford or is worth paying for.

As a disabilty outreach worker I’ve placed wheelchair users in positions as sports coaches. Not being able to fully participate doesn’t mean that with the right support, you can’t teach what you know.

So much judgment combined with ignorance. Basically the attitude seems to be if you can’t see it, it doesn’t exist - I thought people were more enlightened these days.

Yes it does in a lot of cases. I was a disability outreach worker. ASD comes in various forms and can be combined with ADHD to produce severe disability. To be employable you have to be reliable and even with reasonable adjustment in place and the best will in the world from good, empathetic employers, it doesn’t always work out because some are not capable of the sustainable reliability.

Look up the stats for autism and employment. Only 3 in 10 autistic people are in paid work.

I'm a severely disabled wheelchair user.

I understand that some disabled people are capable of doing a job such as sports coaching.

Personally I try to maintain my movement by doing swimming (non weight bearing), seated exercise class and I'm trying to h a new seated yoga class.

I've also done various classes run by my local hospital physio service which are welcoming for disabled people (most classes I have tried are not) including Pilates, tai chi and various other things.

I understand it's important for people with arthritis, just as for people with any disability to keep moving.

However sports coach is not the most obvious job to spring to mind if someone has arthritis as quite apart from anything else at my classes it's always made clear you should do the movements the best your body can. As a sports coach he wouldn't be a participant who can listen to his body he would be needing to keep the session going and not be able to stop.

What is stopping you from working? Autism does not stop you working does it?

I also do not get the obsession with OP abbreviating ‘school run’.