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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think it is unprofessional for a man to go to work with unshaven stubble?

136 replies

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:00

I think it is still considered unprofessional for a man to go into a work office with unshaven stubble. I’m not taking about close cut beards, or moustaches or groomed facial hair. I am talking 2-3day old stubble. I am also not talking about WFH, but going into an office environment where he will meet with colleaugues and clients.

YABU- I’m old fashioned and it is perfectly ok for a man to have wild, free range stubble these days in an office setting.

YANBU- It is not ok to have stubble in the office.

OP posts:
surprisedactually · 09/08/2024 09:15

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:14

My attention is on that, I have no idea how he is at work I only see how he is dressed and groomed for work.

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so it’s not just overgrown stubble

he’s looking very scruffy too?

Original poster
LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:15

CroutonSpoon · 09/08/2024 09:13

What reasons do they give for not passing probation?

If it’s grooming and he’s otherwise good, I’m not sure why they wouldn’t just say we need you to be a bit smarter.

Also, they presumably knew what he looked like at interview - why was that not a problem then, but became a problem after probation?

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It’s just “not a good fit” or “not fitting in with team”
He has had zero issues with performance or doing the job.

OP posts:
Original poster
LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:14

surprisedactually · 09/08/2024 09:11

your attention should be more about why you DH is job hopping (sacked?) 3x in 8 months

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My attention is on that, I have no idea how he is at work I only see how he is dressed and groomed for work.

OP posts:
dontstopmenowimhavingagoodtime · 09/08/2024 09:13

dontstopmenowimhavingagoodtime · 09/08/2024 09:11

Should women always wear make up in the office? Is it unprofessional not to?

Sorry @FourEyesGood I see you've already asked!

Great minds think alike!

CroutonSpoon · 09/08/2024 09:13

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:07

What if the man were obese and pushing 60 and it just makes him look like he is dishevelled?

(Yes this comes from a disagreement with my DH who is starting his 3rd job this year… I feel his lack of personal grooming might have something to do with why he isn’t passing probation)

What reasons do they give for not passing probation?

If it’s grooming and he’s otherwise good, I’m not sure why they wouldn’t just say we need you to be a bit smarter.

Also, they presumably knew what he looked like at interview - why was that not a problem then, but became a problem after probation?

Lurkingandlearning · 09/08/2024 09:12

Although it’s unfair and would never openly be given as reasons not to employ someone, I think his age and obesity with the potential health issues are more likely to be reasons not to employ him than the aesthetics of his facial hair.

Dearg · 09/08/2024 09:11

Ah, I see from your update that this is your own husband . Many people are obese , so unless he has a job where physical fitness is a requirement, then it would be unlikely to be that.
But general dishevelment is not a good look regardless of age. Do you think he has a bit on an attitude which contributes to the dishevelment and the job turn over ?

surprisedactually · 09/08/2024 09:11

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:07

What if the man were obese and pushing 60 and it just makes him look like he is dishevelled?

(Yes this comes from a disagreement with my DH who is starting his 3rd job this year… I feel his lack of personal grooming might have something to do with why he isn’t passing probation)

your attention should be more about why you DH is job hopping (sacked?) 3x in 8 months

dontstopmenowimhavingagoodtime · 09/08/2024 09:11

Should women always wear make up in the office? Is it unprofessional not to?

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 09/08/2024 09:10

birdling · 09/08/2024 09:03

What if he was in the process of growing a beard?

If that is the case, he should be wearing one of these. Then any offence is kept to a minimum.

To think it is unprofessional for a man to go to work with unshaven stubble?
PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 09/08/2024 09:10

I doubt very much he's losing jobs because he doesn't shave often enough. If he's doing something wrong, it'll be his performance not his appearance. Stubble isn't the problem.

surprisedactually · 09/08/2024 09:10

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Gelasring · 09/08/2024 09:10

Very old fashioned attitude op.

My husband often has stubble and has no problem holding on to a job (and getting promoted).

MissJoGrant · 09/08/2024 09:09

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:07

What if the man were obese and pushing 60 and it just makes him look like he is dishevelled?

(Yes this comes from a disagreement with my DH who is starting his 3rd job this year… I feel his lack of personal grooming might have something to do with why he isn’t passing probation)

Wow, imagine being almost 60. What a disgraceful man. Tell him to stop at once!
🙄

Original poster
LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:09

FourEyesGood · 09/08/2024 09:06

YABU. Do you also believe that women look unprofessional without makeup?

No

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 09/08/2024 09:09

Wouldn’t worry me.

Original poster
LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:08

birdling · 09/08/2024 09:03

What if he was in the process of growing a beard?

In this case, the man is not growing a beard.

OP posts:
Lurkingandlearning · 09/08/2024 09:08

If facial hair isn’t barred in that particular work place, I don’t see how length/ style can be ruled on.

ComtesseDeSpair · 09/08/2024 09:08

Bekindtoyourselfandothers · 09/08/2024 09:05

I do think in a lot of working environments there are double standards about expectations depending on employees sex. I think there is still much more onus on women to conform to a certain level of appearance than men.

I think it’s the other way around tbh. The majority of the women I work with dress pretty casually in the office, regardless of seniority. I waft around in floaty maxi dresses all summer. Most of the men still wear a collared shirt and proper trousers and shoes, even in the hottest weather.

Original poster
LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:07

surprisedactually · 09/08/2024 09:01

Do you have a problem with women not shaving their legs

No.

OP posts:
Original poster
LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:07

What if the man were obese and pushing 60 and it just makes him look like he is dishevelled?

(Yes this comes from a disagreement with my DH who is starting his 3rd job this year… I feel his lack of personal grooming might have something to do with why he isn’t passing probation)

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 09/08/2024 09:06

🙄maybe they are growing a beard.

FourEyesGood · 09/08/2024 09:06

YABU. Do you also believe that women look unprofessional without makeup?

Crunchymum · 09/08/2024 09:06

Is this just office workers? Or do you expect all men to be clean shaven / magically grow a well manicured beard overnight?

Bekindtoyourselfandothers · 09/08/2024 09:05

I do think in a lot of working environments there are double standards about expectations depending on employees sex. I think there is still much more onus on women to conform to a certain level of appearance than men.

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