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Original poster

To think it is unprofessional for a man to go to work with unshaven stubble?

136 replies

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:00

I think it is still considered unprofessional for a man to go into a work office with unshaven stubble. I’m not taking about close cut beards, or moustaches or groomed facial hair. I am talking 2-3day old stubble. I am also not talking about WFH, but going into an office environment where he will meet with colleaugues and clients.

YABU- I’m old fashioned and it is perfectly ok for a man to have wild, free range stubble these days in an office setting.

YANBU- It is not ok to have stubble in the office.

OP posts:
Catza · 09/08/2024 09:23

"Professional" is a very overused word. What profession are we talking about? If he is part of a profession which requires a registration with a professional body, then there will be a code of conduct he needs to follow in order to be "professional". In a garden variety office job, there will be a dress code policy.
Otherwise, throwing a term "professional" is meaningless. I don't expect my plumber to turn up in a suit, for example.

surprisedactually · 09/08/2024 09:23

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:22

Over 50

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by how much?

CharlieRight · 09/08/2024 09:22

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:19

Three years, then made redundant,
Then lost a job during probation
Now on 3rd job,

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Well hopefully the failed probation was just a blip and number 3 will work out, but it must have hurt to be made redundant and then loose job number 2 and he could need some support and even be depressed as mentioned above

Original poster
LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:22

surprisedactually · 09/08/2024 09:21

how old are you both?

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Over 50

OP posts:
Beth216 · 09/08/2024 09:22

I'd suspect it's his 'I don't give a shit' attitude rather than a bit of stubble. If appearances were that important then I assume they wouldn't have hired him in the first place.

Is this a case of you don't appreciate his appearance and you're projecting that onto his job in the hope he'll improve it to try to keep a job (and so make you happier)?

whoamI00 · 09/08/2024 09:22

Honestly who cares?

3luckystars · 09/08/2024 09:22

The trouble is not the stubble.

surprisedactually · 09/08/2024 09:22

this issue aside happy supportive loving marriage?

surprisedactually · 09/08/2024 09:21

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:21

Yes, I am the breadwinner.

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how old are you both?

letsjustdothis · 09/08/2024 09:21

I mean it depends on the job, I'm an employer and I don't care what anyone looks like (assuming it wasn't clothing designed to be offensive or a mankini or something). I care that they're turning up reliably and on time and that they're pulling their weight with the team.

If it's a customer facing role that relies on sales, that's a bit different because it would be costing me money.

It sounds like he's just not found a job he likes enough to be good at.

Purplecatshopaholic · 09/08/2024 09:21

You don’t fail probation for how you look, you fail because you arent performing in the role. Sorry op, but I think there’s more he’s not telling you..

Original poster
LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:21

surprisedactually · 09/08/2024 09:20

so lost one job
and very swiftly seemed to have got another

do you work?

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Yes, I am the breadwinner.

OP posts:
Original poster
LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:21

Shinyandnew1 · 09/08/2024 09:19

Is it ok but only if you are young and slim?

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It’s not that, it is more that ageism amplifies any lack of grooming such that judgements are made.

OP posts:
surprisedactually · 09/08/2024 09:20

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:19

Three years, then made redundant,
Then lost a job during probation
Now on 3rd job,

Show quote history

so lost one job
and very swiftly seemed to have got another

do you work?

surprisedactually · 09/08/2024 09:19

he’s lying op
it will be at least 90% poor performance

Original poster
LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:19

surprisedactually · 09/08/2024 09:18

how long was he in his job before the last three?

and what was his appearance like?

Three years, then made redundant,
Then lost a job during probation
Now on 3rd job,

OP posts:
Shinyandnew1 · 09/08/2024 09:19

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:07

What if the man were obese and pushing 60 and it just makes him look like he is dishevelled?

(Yes this comes from a disagreement with my DH who is starting his 3rd job this year… I feel his lack of personal grooming might have something to do with why he isn’t passing probation)

Is it ok but only if you are young and slim?

surprisedactually · 09/08/2024 09:19

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:18

It’s what he has said to me. Ofc he could be lying.

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he is op

he sounds like he could be bloody depressed to me

Original poster
LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:18

surprisedactually · 09/08/2024 09:15

so it’s not just overgrown stubble

he’s looking very scruffy too?

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Not very scruffy, but casual plus stubble doesn’t look put together.

OP posts:
surprisedactually · 09/08/2024 09:18

how long was he in his job before the last three?

and what was his appearance like?

Original poster
LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:18

surprisedactually · 09/08/2024 09:15

how the hell do you know he’s had “zero” performance issues

he’s lost 2 jobs in a matter of months op

it will be performance driven

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It’s what he has said to me. Ofc he could be lying.

OP posts:
Original poster
LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:17

Dearg · 09/08/2024 09:11

Ah, I see from your update that this is your own husband . Many people are obese , so unless he has a job where physical fitness is a requirement, then it would be unlikely to be that.
But general dishevelment is not a good look regardless of age. Do you think he has a bit on an attitude which contributes to the dishevelment and the job turn over ?

Yes, my thought exactly, he looks dishevelled. He does have a bit of a “I don’t give a shit” attitude as well. Older men can’t get away with the same that younger men can.

OP posts:
CharlieRight · 09/08/2024 09:17

Is he trying to rock a seedy private investigator/ burned out cop vibe?

Wouldn't do it myself (not shave) but I don't think it is the main issue between your DH and his employer (or indeed between you and he)

surprisedactually · 09/08/2024 09:16

do you work op?
how old is your husband?

surprisedactually · 09/08/2024 09:15

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:15

It’s just “not a good fit” or “not fitting in with team”
He has had zero issues with performance or doing the job.

Show quote history

how the hell do you know he’s had “zero” performance issues

he’s lost 2 jobs in a matter of months op

it will be performance driven

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