To think of uninviting her

Were you going to just stay with her overnight or were your two adult children also hoping fir a bed for the night? If the latter, that would be a fair amount of work for her.

This is perfect I think and you are tight pixiepirate - life is far to short

I sympathise with you as I have a similar friend. She too is single, mean and selfish. She has joined my family for several events including a long weekend. Here are my tips:

1. start as you mean to go on. Tell her what you want to do and what you do not want to do. Then ask what’s she wants and agree on a plan.
2. when you make arrangements tell her you are not responding to several texts from her trying to change/complicate/confuse everything.
3. agree finances on day one otherwise you will pay the lion’s share of the holiday as she ducks and dives her way out of paying her share.
4. try and keep a smile on your face and if nothing else, enjoy your children’s company. Good luck let us know how it goes!

Has she always been like this? If not these are classic signs of depression..doesn’t mean it’s your problem but might be a cry for help.
In your position I would probably have a word and be honest and say you can’t go and accommodate this level of negativity for your own well-being etc. Make it her decision?

This should be fun.

I think cancelling someone’s holiday a couple of days before is a bit too mean. Instead I would spell it out to her that she needs to be less negative and the affect it’s having on you. Then when you’re back you can let the friendship go if you like.

She gave you an out, you should've taken it really
I don't expect she will have a personality transplant during the holiday so if things blow up again, just meet up for dinner and do your own thing during the day

Can't she drive to your lave car at yours and then jump in with you all so you don't have to go fetch her?

Your adult children will have a shit holiday, won't they? Fun times.

She gave you an out. You should have taken it.

Do people really send texts to friends (or anyone!) in this sort of excessively formal corporate business speak?

Surely 'X, all your messages over the last week have been either rude, miserable or aggressive, and this one was the last straw. I'm sorry but I can't handle a week on holiday with you like this, just the idea is making me miserable. I've transferred your money back,' is a bit more...normal?

OP she literally offered not to come, that was the perfect opportunity to agree, I can't believe you backed out! Even if not for yourself but for your poor family who have to put up with this grumpy cow for their whole holiday!

I cannot believe you have jeopardised a precious holiday with your children for such a manipulative cow.

You should have accepted her offer to not go.

You have put this awful woman ahead of your children.

If she ruins it with her spoiled diva act, that is completely on you.

I hope you manage to have a good holiday.

Please channel some of the assertiveness on here if needed and use it!

Hmm, I think you should have taken her up on her offer not to come!!!

Good luck though. I hope it goes ok.

Yeah, this.

Not sure if you have happened to mention where you're going but if it's anywhere that has a pool and a bar and a sea front area that you can walk along and sight see at, then tell her that this is precisely what you're planning on doing when you're on holidays. You're going to sit by the pool, have plenty of drinks, walk the sea front and eat. That's it. If she wants to go off and do tours, then that's on her.

I do hope she isn't sharing a room with you because I'd nip that in the bud now - perhaps email the hotel before you leave and say that your rooming arrangement has changed and can they help? Get a single room for her and a triple one for you and your kids.

Best of luck on the holiday and don't worry about burning that bridge on your return flight - let her find her own way home from the airport at that stage!

Sounds like your holiday is going to be a nightmare!

Btw I think if she drives and can afford it I think it's perfectly ok to let her know she's driving herself. Sod her quibbling over petrol. I'd at least relieve myself of that burden.

Absolutely this ^

Well I, for one, will be waiting with 🍿🍿for the update where she has made you absolutely miserable, and you can't escape her. Then you will have wasted far more than £200 and a crappy codependent friendship.

Uninvite. Concentrate on your poorly father. You don't need this in your life.

"I'll meet you there" - why didnt you say that? So what if she said she didnt want to take her car - tough luck.

Stop pandering to this child-woman who will without a doubt ruin your holiday, and then moaning about her.

YOU invited her. YOU said you would pick her up. YOU haven't had the backbone to tell her to make her own way.

Why should she be thankful? Sounds like she has shown you who she is plenty of times. She hasn't hid it.

This. Don't let it build up. Politely point out to her when she's being grumpy, aggressive, rude, snappy, whatever.

If this doesn't work, then calmly point out that you are not going to be her kicking post, and if she can't be pleasant in company she needs to take herself elsewhere, and mean it.

Well done OP that can't have been an easy call but you've given her the option to back gracefully out and she's chosen to come. Hopefully she will understand what's been said, that you don't want any shittery, just a nice holiday and buck up. Either way, make the best of it. Go with an open mind, she might surprise you and be lovely. If not, just remind yourself you don't have to invite her again!