Am I stupid to offer this option to ex?

@Honeymonster2

I think at this point you really need to speak to a solicitor. There are enough 'what ifs' that you need to find out the likelihood of the courts in your area ordering you back, ordering you to do all the driving, or simply saying that you can go, but the children stay. You also need to think about how likely it is that he will take you to court and his (and/or his family's) financial ability to do so.

IMHO you could probably offer him a chauffeured limo to transport back and forth or accommodation in a 5 star hotel in your 'new' town for overnight visits and he'll most likely say 'no', if he feels it will negatively impact his relationship with his DC or if he just wants to be a jerk. So if you're serious about this move, if this move would drastically improve your children's lives (and yours) then you need solid legal advice. You may find out that your proposed move would be acceptable to the courts or you may find that it would be impossible. But before you tackle him with anything, you need to know where you stand. No point in antagonizing him unnecessarily. Forewarned is forearmed.

You're going to do an 8 hour round trip to drop them off every other Saturday and then the same every other Sunday to collect them?

Even if you find somewhere to stay overnight won't that get very expensive and time consuming? I think you'll hate it and so will the kids.

Can't you do a house swap and get social housing in your new area?

If I were the one moving away, I'd sweeten it by making it clear I would facilitate all the drop-offs and collections. If I was moving 4 hours away from my ex through choice I wouldn't be expecting him to do the legwork so I'd make that clear from the start.

No, this has nightmare written all over it. You could get in trouble with the council- plus what if he moves friend/ new girlfriend in whilst your name’s on the tenancy and creates merry hell? You’d end up never being able to get social housing again.

Plus why are you still trying to appease him. It’s not like it’s Australia. And he only sees them for a few hours. If it’s best for the kids just go and tell him what you’ve told us- when he gets his own place he can see them more.

I would definitely not give up social housing tenancy to be at the whim of a landlord and lose housing security.

I would try and swap if I wanted to move closer.

No,
1 - it’s not fair to others on social housing waiting list, it’s queue jumping -he is a single person and has no need for extra bedrooms full time.

2 - try social housing out of area swap instead of private let.

3- If either you or your ex get any means tested benefits doing this will cock them up and look as if you are reconciled.

4 - you are throwing away your children’s housing security.

5 - as already said he can’t prevent you moving as long as he still gets access.

No, it's fraudulent if he's not living in the property for the required time period to qualify as tenant.

Also, wouldn't it be more beneficial to yourself and the children to swap your council house with one closer to your family? I'd try that first.

Never give up Social Housing
Are you dreaming!

Don't ever give up your tenancy. You could perhaps do a council swap to a new area?

@Honeymonster2

I wouldn't simply because you could do all that and he could still turn around and try to prohibit the move. Nothing to stop him since you 'giving' him your social housing would have no legal bearing on anything to do with the DC. I wouldn't want to take the chance on losing my secure housing and then still have problems in making my desired move.

Unless you think he'd take you to court, just propose the change you mentioned along with the reasons you'd like to move. See what he says. If you don't hear what you want, consult a solicitor to see what your next step should be.

I'm assuming he has PR?

I agree with @Numsmetposter

Social housing is a golden ticket to half price rent for life. Depending on your location, you'll probably never get awarded another one.

No I really wouldn't do that. I rent privately and its awful and so unsecure we have had to move fir various reasons. 6 times in 13 years. 3 times because we outgrew the space, One time because the landlord didn't oay his mortgage so it was repossessed, 2 times because the landlord sold up. Kids hate it, as do we. But it is what it is if you can't buy. I would bite your arm off for a secure tenancy like.

For the love of God do a social house swap to the new area. You'd be mad to give up the security of a social tenancy for the uncertainty of a private one. They might have to might sell, raise rent, or might not do adequate maintenance.

It's best for your kids and you to have a decent home. He's got the stability of his Mum anyway! Good luck with your move.

This is foolish

Don't be so silly. He's a grown man he can take of himself

Don’t do that try to get an exchange to where you want to live. You don’t want to lose a permanent well priced home.

when I moved twenty years ago for a decent well paid career I sadly had to give up my social housing home. I wasn’t allowed to exchange to another area and I wasn’t allowed to let it out. Put myself in a risky situation which I have always regretted as 18 months later I was made redundant.

Wouldn't you lose the tenancy anyway if you move? Or are you planning a swap?

You do know you're responsible for the travel for the contact if you're the one moving away

I wouldn't be giving anyone ESPECIALLY an ex the option of going on my tenancy for social housing.
The only person going on that would be if I swapped for a similar property where I wanted to move.
Why are you not swapping and going for a private rental?

So you add him, then move? So the downside that you will be responsible for rent arrears until it is solely in his name. Don't suggest it yet. Speak to him about the move. He could block it, it would be decided by the court. On his access at present the court may grant you a move. You couldn't move and keep the house anyway.

How are you, and your kids, going to manage an 8 hour round trip?

You're crazy to give up your social housing to privately rent, anyway.

No that is your asset