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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is not acceptable behaviour from a dad to his 8 year old son...?

66 replies

planAplanB · 08/08/2024 21:11

  • Shouting at child in anger
  • Tapping child's bottom with his hand
  • Grabbing child's wrists to get him off the sofa and move him towards the door
  • Calling child stupid
  • Claiming his mothers parenting 'lets him get away with bad behaviour'
  • Chasing child in anger around island in the kitchen shouting for him to go to his room.

I know that the above behaviour is not acceptable from an adult to their child but can anyone else tell me if their husband also does this?

It was horrible to witness. I intervened to remove husbands hands from child's wrists. Older child also witnessed this.

OP posts:
Justcallmebebes · 08/08/2024 21:38

StSwithinsDay · 08/08/2024 21:27

Yes there must be plenty of fathers who abuse their children, and mothers who are complicit in allowing it. Your children are in the unlucky position of having exactly those parents.

Hang on, OP said she's divorcing him. What more do you want her to do?

Atethehalloweenchocs · 08/08/2024 21:37

Can you call womens aid for advice? He needs to be removed from the house it sounds like.

Original poster
planAplanB · 08/08/2024 21:37

StSwithinsDay · 08/08/2024 21:27

Yes there must be plenty of fathers who abuse their children, and mothers who are complicit in allowing it. Your children are in the unlucky position of having exactly those parents.

I don't know how to make him stop shouting at our son and grabbing him to get him to his room. I stepped in to make him let go. I removed my husband hands from DS arms. Husband is now sulking in his room. We're divorcing. This happens infrequently, maybe once every couple of months. What would people suggest I do? Maybe I should take them down to my mums tomorrow. We just can't up and leave permenantly though.

OP posts:
dad11122 · 08/08/2024 21:30

planAplanB · 08/08/2024 21:25

Last time it happened was 25th June with the 10 year old. I've started a divorce but we're stuck living together.
I know it's not nice, and I do not condone any of those behaviours described but surely there are other Dads who do some of those things, right? My parenting style is very different to his.

Yes, there are other dads who abuse their children. Don't forget that your children may see how he behaves and grow up thinking this is acceptable behaviour and the correct way to treat their partners and your grandchildren.

StSwithinsDay · 08/08/2024 21:27

Yes there must be plenty of fathers who abuse their children, and mothers who are complicit in allowing it. Your children are in the unlucky position of having exactly those parents.

Snacksgalore · 08/08/2024 21:27

It’s abuse. Your child is being abused. What are you going to do to protect him?

Sugarlily · 08/08/2024 21:26

I know that the above behaviour is not acceptable from an adult to their child but can anyone else tell me if their husband also does this?

Why? Would that make abuse any better?

L66 · 08/08/2024 21:26

No other dads do not do things like this if my husband ever did anything like this he would be gone. It’s abusive behaviour, op has he been aggressive with you as well?

otravezempezamos · 08/08/2024 21:26

I don’t know what is worse. The behavior in itself or why it has been allowed to continue.

Get off your phone and start packing a bag. You need to safeguard your child from an abuser. He is old enough that he will remember this. Be that person that he remembers for getting him out, not the one who stood back and allowed it.

Original poster
planAplanB · 08/08/2024 21:26

StSwithinsDay · 08/08/2024 21:24

And 'tapping child's bottom with his hand'. You mean he slapped him hard don't you?

No it was just a tap. Definitely not a slap. Still, I'm trying to teach our kids not to be physical or aggressive when they are angry and their dad has done just this.

OP posts:
Original poster
planAplanB · 08/08/2024 21:25

Last time it happened was 25th June with the 10 year old. I've started a divorce but we're stuck living together.
I know it's not nice, and I do not condone any of those behaviours described but surely there are other Dads who do some of those things, right? My parenting style is very different to his.

OP posts:
StSwithinsDay · 08/08/2024 21:24

And 'tapping child's bottom with his hand'. You mean he slapped him hard don't you?

Doubledded123 · 08/08/2024 21:23

He needs to go. Away,
The poor lad this is abuse. You know it is not OK so please protect this child.

StSwithinsDay · 08/08/2024 21:23

It's not acceptable in any way, shape or form.
What are you going to do?

L66 · 08/08/2024 21:22

Sorry just saw at the bottom he is your husband. Is he like this with you as well?

L66 · 08/08/2024 21:21

Is this your husband op?
It’s abusive behaviour yes, how long has this been going on for with this little boy?
This isn’t normal behaviour and it’s awful.

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