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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you have a will?

55 replies

oneskip · 08/08/2024 21:03

And does it say anything interesting and usual?

If you don't have one, why???

Mine is a mirror one with DH but says our house must go to our DS on death of us both (incase I go first and DH gets infatuated with someone new and significantly younger) Wink

OP posts:
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oneskip · 09/08/2024 11:54

I think if this thread says anything, it's to update wills!!!!

OP posts:
caringcarer · 09/08/2024 09:32

I have one but very out of date. I must make a new one because I've got 2 gorgeous DGC now who I'd want to leave a btl house. Also we've bought a French house so that needs to be put into will too.

GreenIvyy · 09/08/2024 00:30

No i dont. I need to. Just not got round to it yet 😩 i know i know

moderndilemma · 09/08/2024 00:28

Yes.

Had a simple will when younger but as life has progressed and changed, our wills have been adapted and become more complex.

Currently in our 60s with adult children in different phases of life regarding having/not (yet) having children. It's pretty difficult getting the concept and the words right so that no - as yet - unconcieved grandchildren are not left with nothing while existing grandchildren benefit from a legacy.

Also dh is not adult dc's biological parent or adoptive parent. Essential for his will to say that his estate passes to his step-children, not to his biological line (his brother and his brother's step children).

I think that we are currently at peak complexity. In the happy event that we both life for another 20 years, I thing our wills will re-simplify.

And yes to life rent trust to protect how you each plan for your estate to be used. My neighbour's wife died when he was 78. A year later and he has a new partner (she's lovely, they are very sweet together, but goodness I hope that his deeased wife's wishes are legally protected).

The time to write your will, and sort out your power of attorney, is when you do not yet need them. Otherwise it's too late.

ilovesooty · 09/08/2024 00:27

Yes and a POA as well.

Seadragonusgiganticusmaximus · 09/08/2024 00:22

endofthelinefinally · 08/08/2024 22:05

Then what happens to husband's half if he marries again? Presumably he still owns his half, so could leave it to anyone? I know so many people who have had bad experiences with inheritance, despite thinking it was watertight.

Yes. You can’t stop the surviving spouse from doing whatever they want with their own assets. But you can stop them (legally) doing something stupid with the deceased spouse’s share.

To make it work you do have to have everything owned by one or the other of you as jointly owned stuff (joint bank accounts, investment accounts, property owned as joint tenants) goes straight to the surviving joint owner.

UggyPow · 08/08/2024 23:47

To everyone saying mirror wills it goes to their partners & will then go to the children, if they remarry after one of you passes then this doesn't happen. The only way is to become tenants in common and to leave it to your children with your partner having a right to reside - you can even add phrasing that means they can move house etc

UggyPow · 08/08/2024 23:40

I have just redone mine, in my originaI I one I had become tenants in common with my husband as he was terminally ill & his 50% of the house is in trust for our children
When he passed away I made some good investments so needed to rewrite mine. Also youngest will never live independently so mine now also includes a vulnerable persons trust.
I also did power of attorney

suburberphobe · 08/08/2024 23:16

You need a will!

Just binge-watched The Inheritance. (Channel 5).

In Europe you cannot disinherit your kids - unless s/he's a junkie -

In England you can leave it to your new wife at 90, or the cats' home.

ridiculous

Topseyt123 · 08/08/2024 23:09

Yes, we did proper wills about 5 years ago. Everything to be split equally between our three DDs after the last of the two of us has died.

We have also nearly finished paying for funeral plans so that nobody will have to worry about the cost of that when the time comes.

Spendysis · 08/08/2024 22:52

We are doing ours next week never got round to it before and just thought everything would just got to the surviving spouse then dc but after a difficult year dbil passing away suddenly he and his second wife had mirrored wills majority goes to his dc when she dies as their dm had also passed and Dn wanting her inheritance now instructed solicitors then gave up but no longer speaks to her dads wife and my dsis financially abusing and manipulating dm who is unsure if she has recently changed her will to disinherited me I want everything sorted

on a lighter note dh other brother who is single no dc has made a will leaving everything equal to his remaining brothers and his yukka plant is to be given to his friend it is actually in his will ha ha they are more than welcome to it as it’s huge

WrylyAmused · 08/08/2024 22:52

@oneskip and everyone who has mirror wills in case their partner is the survivor and then gets infatuated with someone else...

You do know that whichever of you dies first, there's nothing to stop the surviving partner changing their will later (or indeed at any time)?
"Mirror" wills are meaningless in law, it doesn't stop anyone being able to change their will whenever they wish.

The only way you can guarantee property etc going to the children is to leave your share to them directly, with the partner having a life interest. And putting enough safeguards around that life interest that they can't fritter it away etc.

MissJoGrant · 08/08/2024 22:41

I don't have one because I have nothing to leave behind, unfortunately.

cadburyegg · 08/08/2024 22:40

No I really need to get one though, it's on my to do list. I'm a single parent and there is over 200k equity in my house so I really need to sort it. Planning on having something in it which states that 50% of my estate goes in trust for the kids to access when they are 21 and the rest to go towards their living expenses until that age. Need to sort something properly though.

magichen · 08/08/2024 22:35

Pebbles16 · 08/08/2024 21:16

Yes. My husband or my nephews might bump me off because I am worth more dead than alive at the mo! (Lighhthearted, I hope)

I used to joke about this with my husband, he unexpectedly passed away 8 weeks ago after a very short battle with cancer. I'm overwhelmed by the amount of money that has landed my way (not bragging but genuine anxiety) at the sheer responsibility. But also I can't tell you how much I would rather be on the breadline and have him here than any amount of money. Neither of us had a will and it's made things harder which we did not forsee. It's top of my priorities now.

YourWinter · 08/08/2024 22:29

No, AC are all grown and left home but my house is still owned as “joint tenants” with my ex H, he paid off the mortgage but as it stands, a will can’t override the fact that on the first death, the other one of us inherits the house. Its contents are tatty and worthless, I own nothing of value and my AC will chuck everything away, there’s nothing here that they want. My SIPP is tiny and the beneficiaries are my grandkids.

SP2024 · 08/08/2024 22:23

Yes. Ours say if we die everything to children (after each other) or grandchildren. And in case of neither of those to be split between our nieces and nephews. We got it for free after visiting a baby fayre but it’s good and everything we wanted it to say.

Singleandproud · 08/08/2024 22:20

I've had one since I had DD at 23, basically future proofed it so any assets get shared equally between any offspring and left in my brother's trust until they are 25. If my DD and I both die then it all goes to my brother.
At the time of writing I didn't have any assets but I've bought property since and have some savings
There was also a section on guardianship of DD as she didn't have a relationship with her dad at the time and saw my parents daily but this has changed and she is in her mid teens, I dare say if anything happened DD would continue her once a week visits and not actually tell him anything had happened and my parents wouldn't be rushing to mention anything. Hopefully not something we/ they will actually experience

My pension goes 90% DD and 10% my brother

JaceLancs · 08/08/2024 22:20

Yes!
the only unusual thing in it though is where I want my ashes scattered

endofthelinefinally · 08/08/2024 22:12

I have friends whose DD died in her 40s. They had gifted her a substantial amount of money as a deposit for the house she bought with her husband. Within a couple of years he married again. The new wife threw the teenaged DC out of the house to live with the grand parents, Husband has made a new will leaving everything to the new wife. Awful behaviour, but they can't do anything. It is really sad, but it shows what can happen. I can think of at least 10 similar scenarios in my immediate circle of friends and family.

PoopedAndScooped · 08/08/2024 22:05

Havent got one - The reason, i have nothing to give
Just dept and a minus bank balance

endofthelinefinally · 08/08/2024 22:05

JoyousPinkPeer · 08/08/2024 22:00

Not true. If you buy your house as tenants in common i.e. each own 50% (or whatever %) then you can.leave your % to whoever you want. Ive left mine to my son, with husband having right to live in house until death.

Then what happens to husband's half if he marries again? Presumably he still owns his half, so could leave it to anyone? I know so many people who have had bad experiences with inheritance, despite thinking it was watertight.

Josette77 · 08/08/2024 22:04

I have life insurance and a will.

Life insurance goes to ex-husband and my condo to my son

Josette77 · 08/08/2024 22:03

Onehotday · 08/08/2024 21:10

No but they're not really common in my culture. The son/s just inherit everything.

So you have daughters?

Are you ok with them getting nothing?

JoyousPinkPeer · 08/08/2024 22:00

endofthelinefinally · 08/08/2024 21:13

"Mine is a mirror one with DH but says our house must go to our DS on death of us both (in case I go first and DH gets infatuated with someone new and significantly younger"
If you go first, DH could change his will the next day. If he were to marry again any existing will is immediately invalidated. He would have to make a new one. Hopefully new wife would not persuade him to leave everything to her. If he doesn't make a new one and then dies intestate, everything will go to new wife.
The only way you can ensure that your house can go to your child/children is if you put it into trust. Perhaps you have done that, but you didn't say that in your OP.

Not true. If you buy your house as tenants in common i.e. each own 50% (or whatever %) then you can.leave your % to whoever you want. Ive left mine to my son, with husband having right to live in house until death.

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