To not want his mum’s ring?

You have to be honest otherwise you will get very resentful. Just day it's a lovely thought but as you are not a blood relative maybe put it away for a future daughter or granddaughter. I am currently wearing my MIL solitaire engagement ring. Its very valuable not really my style but she gave it to me ( she is 91) and looks to see if I am wearing it everytime we visit. Wish I had just said no thank you. You could maybe have the ring stiched onto your wedding dress which would perhaps let your boyfriend feel his mum is part of the day.

This 👌

Just tell him.

I think Meghan would have pretty Diana's iconic ring she redesigned her own engagement ring within a year of getting married.

My potential mil gave me her engagement ring from her exdh ( widowed - I say potential because we are long term but unwed ) but it is from the late 1950s and not my taste . I said I didn't want it but she insisted , so I told her will keep it for her granddaughter . Could you suggest something like that ?

I am a yellow gold person, so would HATE to have to wear a white gold ring. Just not my style. You are absolutely not being unreasonable to want an engagement ring of your own style, i.e. platinum, and a bigger diamond !! Why not?? A pp mentioned Meghan Markle got a more modern ring than Kate.... yes, then she still had it remodelled to HER OWN liking!! You'll be wearing it for the rest of your life.... your partner will understand this if you explain. I'm all for the remodeling of it into his wedding ring, or keeping for any future daughter.

The fact u mentioned the size of the diamond u obviously want a bigger diamond and the cost of a new ring not being an issue says you need to look at why you are marrying is it for superficial reasons or real reasons if it is genuine what a ring looks like won't matter if for superficial the ring and the dress are going to take priority over everyone and everything else

Remember a wedding is one day of your life and a piece of paper

Why don't you suggest he uses the gold to have an engagement or wedding ring made for himself and have the diamond hidden on the inside?

Why doesn't your DH have it made into his wedding ring, with the diamond on the inner band as a secret diamond.

Thanks for insulting my engagement ring my husband bought me. be grateful yhe cares enough to give it you can up grade later if you want and then say you are worried about it getting damaged it being old

My son proposed to his wife with my late mother's ring. It fitted perfectly and she loves it. Really treasures it. She never knew my Mum. People are different.

Tell him the truth. You are not obliged to like his mother's ring and if money isn't an issue you should have one that you like. If he can't accept that is he really the one for you? I think it's old-fashioned and distasteful to force ancestral things on people - a bit like the idea that a child has to be named after someone in the family even if the parents don't like the name. It's fine to be sentimental but you can't force your sentiment on someone else. You're not his mother and you should have the ring that brings you joy.

Simply say that although it's a lovely idea, which you appreciate, unfortunately it's not your style as deep down you've always had your heart set on a certain style.

He'll understand!

Tell him that wasn’t bought for you with love, and should remain the love token of his parents and should be kept and eventually past on to any children they may have …

This

A family member used their parents wedding rings and had them melted down and added more gold to make their own wedding ring , it retains all the sentiment too but makes it special to them

@DianaBlackCat I had a very specific ring in mind for my engagement. We decided to use a family heirloom just temporarily. It was the total opposite of the ring I wanted.
Turns out, I fell in love with the ring and everything it represents; I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Im not saying you should wear a ring you hate, be honest about how you feel certainly. But also, maybe try it out and see how you feel?

So weird to me that people “know the proposal is coming”. Surely if you’ve decided to get married you are engaged. I don’t get the “waiting for the “surprise” proposal” thing.
Does no one ever just ask someone to marry them anymore? With a ring they bought or happened to have?

Tell him and get it stitched into the hem of your dress as something borrowed

Could you possibly have it restyled with her stones?

I suggest ..He proposes with his mums ring and you keep it as your 'engagement ring' in a special box in your special keepsakes drawer but tell him as you don't want to worry about losing it you'd like another one and go and pick it together

Just say no you don't want to, it means something to him, but not to you as you never knew her and don't have that kind of sentimental connection about it. You're the one who is going to be wearing the ring and it needs to feel special to you as well as him.

This is what I was going to say.

The OP doesn’t like the ring and doesn’t want the responsibility of safeguarding an heirloom that obviously means a lot to her intended. And like most women, she’d rather choose her own ring - all completely understandable. I’d hate the idea of having a family ring foisted on me and the value would be irrelevant. Perhaps your DIL secretly hates her ring but like the OP couldn’t find a way to tell you without causing a massive upset?

If he wants to honour his mum, why doesn’t he have the stones set into his own wedding ring and he can wear that every day to remind him of her.

I personally wouldn’t do this-I’d just give the ring to a descendant of the mum-ie one of your kids. If you or him wear it as an engagement/wedding ring and then split up, it will have bad associations