My step mother has fallen out with her entire family by starting a relationship with my dad's (her then husbands) friend soon after he passed away. He was still married and living with his wife and children. This caused a huge rift as not only were the family still grieving from his loss a few months prior, but no one wanted any part in destroying another family. This was three years ago and today we found out that she has went ahead and married the man as he has had a recent terminal diagnosis and is now also very close to death. So close they married at the hospice. I felt nothing but empathy for her until his daughter got in touch with me and asked for my help contacting her as she is refusing to let his children see him and make thing right before he passes. I felt strongly that she is repeating the same thing she did to me by denying anyone else the right to grieve and once again is seeing this man as only her husband and like he was nothing to anyone else besides her. I wrote a letter to her today, at first just to vent and get things off my chest, but now I am considering sending it to her. There is already chatter about how she wanted to make sure she has financial security over his assets but that is speculation and I do feel for her despite the past. The letter explains that I wish she would acknowledge that these men are and were peoples fathers, friends, and loved by people other then herself. I did express my hurt and shock, but also explained that I want to be someone who moves with kindness and compassion. Do I send the letter? I feel she needs to be told that she cant control someone else's relationships but I also feel its not my place? (Note she had been in my life for 25 years before my father passed and this all kicked off) I am the only person who can say this to her as all the others don't want anything to do with it/ her.