…To Ghost Employer

I know of a company that refuses to give a reference to anyone

I haven’t read the whole thread but hand your notice in. You never know when you’ll need a reference and most employers are supposed to keep them vague now anyway.

You may hate your new job after a year, or a fabulous new opportunity might present itself in the next 3 yrs that you decide to apply for, or your next place might go under so you need to get another new job. All these scenarios require a reference.

I know you probably want to give your place the big fuck you (I’ve been there, believe me!) but sometimes you have to be the bigger person, for your own good. You can always tactfully drop things in an exit interview if it might make a difference but otherwise hold your head high and move on to better things.

If you haven’t been able to take much leave you may not actually have to work much notice. I have had 1 month notice periods but 2 weeks of leave, so have only had to do a couple of weeks in the end.

If HR consulted through a grievance process then they’ve done their job. It’s up to management to take further action within the law.

I think you need to tell them you're resigning, even if you're doing so with zero notice.

I'd probably write a stinker of a resignation letter listing all the problems with the line manager, and send it to the MD, CCing HR.

The problem with ghosting them is that you might need a reference at some time. You also stand a good chance of complicating your tax record if there is no clear date when your employment ended. I would be tempted to give some notice, even if not as long as contractually required and use up any Annual Leave you have accrued. WFH if possible and ignore your LM's ridiculous behaviour. Well done on getting out of this toxic environment.

I have worked in staff disputes and I can tell you, the best thing to do is to leave without making a scene. You never know when you will need a reference in the future. If HR have not done anything by now, it usually is down to lack of evidence, or it’s a petty dispute.
Go quietly. Its a bitter pull to swallow but strategically it’s the best things to do.

Write down everything she's done, with dates if possible. Print off any evidence - emails etc, including anything from HR giving you the brush off or any unanswered emails you sent to HR. Hand in your notice. Get a fit note for the duration of your notice for stress. Put your feet up until the notice period expires. Start your new job. And then sue your ex-employer for constructive dismissal.

I’ve dreamt of doing this with a previous crappy employer but reluctantly worked notice instead.

If it won’t effect your new employment and you are sure you will never need references from them I’d say do it.

They don’t value you obviously so let them see how they get on without you!

Just make sure there would be no repercussions that could jeopardise future employment.

Morally, I suppose you should take the higher ground and give notice but I suspect you’ve suffered enough to say stuff them!

Is there anyone else you can resign to? Go to them, tell them you are resigning and want the minimum notice period possible due to the working environment. State a week.

it’s very hard to keep someone who is already half out of the door, so they might just accept it and everything is much tidier and you can move on.

I voted not unreasonable because morally you wouldn't be. Unfortunately the law is not always reasonable and it's just not worth the risk. Getting signed off with stress for your notice period sounds like a good plan though.

Your new employer may need a reference from your existing employer and if you just disappear it will cause major problems with tax etc. as you need a P45.

Legally you will have a notice period and if you don’t agree to serve this the company could legitimately take legal action. Best course of action would be to hand in your notice and if you can get a sick note from GP in view of the mental health issues you are facing from your line mangers behaviour take that which conveniently covers your notice period. What this will mean is that you couldn’t start your new role while the sick note was in play as your new employer would be in trouble if anything happened to you at work as their employee liability insurance would be void as you shouldn’t be there.

Alternatively prepare evidence , go directly to HR with your resignation and the evidence and suggest they let you go immediately.

A final option, but will be stressful and drawn out, get your evidence together and approach HR , advise about your new role and claim constructive dismissal in view of the LM behaviour. If the evidence is sufficient you could agree a final severance , no notice to serve and they pay you in lieu.

But don’t just ghost and walk away, tempting though it is , it will cause all sorts of issues with your tax position and could end with you being threatened with legal action and I’m sure you just want to put it all in the past.

It sounds like submitting a grievance to HR may well be pointless then. In that case submit your resignation and give no notice. If you have another job to go to and don't need anything from them then walk away..try and time it to resign a day after pay day so they can't withhold salary from you, try and make sure you have taken all annual leave you have accrued up until your last day then email your resignation with immediate effect. Alternatively resign but only offer a token notice period of a week then completely detach from your nasty manager. Wfh every day and ignore her irate calls / emails. Grey rock approach. If you have resigned then she can't sack you or force you to enter into any discussion with her.

Resugn with immediate effect due to the behaviour listed show proof walk away

So, of course generally it is better to be professional, etc etc. But I once worked somewhere that someone just did not come back to work one day and never came back again, and secretly thought it was kind of bad ass. Its a massive FU to the company, and lets face it, some of them need it.

Sorry you are going through this OP.

I was in a similar situation 5 years ago and it made me very unwell - no job is worth that.

My notice period was 3 months but I managed to negotiate it down to 6 weeks as I think they were spooked I might take them legal. I detailed in my notice letter exactly why I was leaving, how it was the last resort, all the steps I had gone to to prevent it e.g HR etc etc. I then got a doctors note for stress and never went back.

You never know when you may cross paths with somebody and you may need a reference in the future so I would definitely do it the right way rather than ghosting them. Hope everything works out for you OP

In your position I would work my notice, but make thing difficult for her by doing the bare minimum and exposing her incompetence at every opportunity. As you no longer care about keeping that job, give her as many chances to show her true self as possible. You will only get once chance for revenge and this is it!

Just email your notice in with immediate effect? Why would you not tell then that you are leaving?

How much notice are you meant to give? Do you need a reference, presumably? Have you secured another post?

If she’s not signed off expenses then they owe you money, so try and get as much money as possible from them.

Have you got another job lined up already?

I’d initially go off sick for a week self-cert to give yourself some headspace and plan how to handle this. Do whatever you have to do - phone/text/email to say you’re sick, and then block them.

Inform them you won't be returning after your annual leave due to having a new job.

If possible get a written reference from one of the other managers. Purely in the event a future employer wants something from them.

Or go off sick until you start your new job. You wouldn't be the first and you wouldn't be the last.

One year I walked.out of three jobs. They were all terrible. I dropped off any of their property and informed them I wouldn't be back.

If being professional and ethical is so important as others state, then surely the business would've supported OP and managed her line manager appropriately for their awful conduct and terrible performance.

Well done for leaving but do it properly. You’ve survived 6 years, 3 months won’t make much difference especially as you know there’s a close end date. You don’t want to do anything that will damage your reputation.

It’s a shame you didn’t actively involve HR and document the bullying because if you did you’d have more of an upper hand and may have been permitted to not work your notice with no come back on you.

Having evidence and a record of HR involvement would also make it easier to go for a constructive dismissal payout. If they are hurt in the pocket, they’ll deal with her.