To Keep quiet about will change

I agree. Children cut contact with their parents only when they feel very aggrieved. He already feels that she didn’t care for him enough and this is the last message she leaves him.

My parents will leave nothing to us but I’ve made my mind up that my children will be treated equally in my will regardless of any circumstances.

when I die I want their last message, from me, to be that I loved them all equally. I’d rather they knew that when I’m alive …

There's no guarantee that your mother is even telling the truth about the will, so absolutely do not say anything about it to your brother - apart from the issue that siblings rarely experience the same parent, so he could have significant trauma from his childhood that he is unable to put aside, how would it help matters for you to tell him 'Actually, I'm getting everything and you're just getting a couple of quid to make sure you can't contest it', but then to find out he's getting an equal share or maybe even more?

It's your mother's money and not you place to think anything of it until the money is in your hands. She told you things in confidence and you are now considering sharing this information despite her explicit instructions?
Whether he deserves the money or not is absolutely irrelevant. She could leave him 100% of her money and it is still entirely her business that you have no right to question.

If Op (or anyone) wants to make a gift to other person, can't they just 'give' it or is it a tax concern?

When DB1 told me what DM was doing with her will I told DB2.

IMO DB1 had put a lot of pressure on DM to exclude DB2 from her will. Not for DB1's benefit except that he was keen for DM to leave her estate in trust for the benefit of adult DGCs.

DB1 wants to control this trust so that he can dole out alms to DGC if he thinks they are worthy.

If DM has actually done this daft thing then she is likely to have nominated all three of us as trustees. I wanted to make DB2 aware so that he isn't caught on the hop.

While people can do what they like with their wills, they shouldn't use it to tie up the next generations.

I don't see why she should feel obliged to give her brother half. She will end up doing a lot of the care and decision making, while he won't.

It seems unlikely that a 50/50 split will be possible, or even desirable, because the OPs' mother has left a share directly to the grandchildren which cannot be changed by the OP.

The OP could give 50% of her personal inheritance to her brother, presumably minus the amount he was specifically left.

I hope that when she dies and you inherit, you'll split the amount you inherit with your brother so you each inherit 50% It's a very unfair will, and your mother is setting her own son up for such pain ....

I think it's unfair of her to have told you any of this in the first place, it's genuinely not your business until she passes.

And your brother is crass to be 'joking' about an inheritance that only comes about at the death of a parent!

I've had to go NC with my extended family for quite serious reasons and have no expectation to be included in any sort of will/inheritance. I wouldn't want it, my mother always used money to make me feel beholden to her in some way. So I don't really understand why your brother would even want/need/expect it at all.

My mum recently told me that she has signed over her house to my sibling, my sibling lives with my mum and is her carer so I probably would have been okay with it if there had been a conversation about it but I know that my dad would not have wanted it to be that way. I was in regular contact with my mum and visited at least twice a week when it was her home and thought we were close. I know she doesn’t owe me an inheritance but it has irreparably damaged our relationship the way it was done. I don’t particularly like my sibling, and they are not even very nice to my mum but my mum feels she has to put up with it as having my sibling there means she can stay in her house. My mum says she was not coerced and it’s her decision but both me and my sibling have POA so I’m not sure if her solicitor has done the right thing. Short of a legal challenge there’s nothing to be done so I’ve gone LC with my mum as I can’t face going round to the house that’s now my sibling’s.

@Bronzemedal72 , it is very important that your mother writes a letter preferably in her own hand and signs and dates it. This should be witnessed preferably by the solicitor who holds the will and kept with the will.
My father did exactly this and when he died and my brother challenged the will, but gave up because of the letter. My dad was quite old when he made the change and he also under instruction from the solicitor obtained some sort of certificate of competence from his GP but it doesn’t sound like that will be an issue with your mum.

I think it's a really shit move of your Mum to do that. You admit she was a horrible Mum as you were growing up so it's not unreasonable for your brother not to want contact.

I would split the money with him 50/50.

If you don't intend to split the money then I think you should tell him what your Mum said. It's sneaky not to. It would give him a chance to contact her and either make up with her or tell her how he feels.
Lots of posters suggest you shouldn't go against the wishes of someone's will but that's rubbish and just used as an excuse to keep the money. The money would be yours to do what you wanted.

My Mum is including a sibling of mine that's behaved awfully over a long period of time. He is a really nasty person. He is like it to my Mum and my other two siblings. I encourage my Mum to split the money fairly though. It's the right thing to do. He is still her child and he is a product of her upbringing.

Say nothing. Until your DM has died it can be changed.

I would ask your mother to write a letter to explain why she is not splitting 50/50, and to store that in the will.
Then I'd simply claim no knowledge when the time comes.

It’s non of your business and not within your gift to share what she has told you. Just forget about it.
She might change her will again some time anyway.

When sadly the time comes, just shut your brother down. It’s not as if currently she’s left him out is it?

It’s actually none of your business to say or share with others what she’s done about her will.

Don't say anything to your brother. If he mentions the will being 50/50 again say it's up to her what she does with her money and you have no idea. I'd ask your Mum to leave a letter of explanation to go with the will. It's less likely to be challenged then. Also if you wanted you could give your dB a bit of the money left to you if you wanted to but would be under no obligation to do so. You don't see your dB much anyway.

I agree with this. Telling you this info, is a poisonous and manipulative move. Why did she need to tell you? Is it a veiled threat, to ensure you care for her as she ages?

As already said, it would be a good idea for DM to write a letter explaining her actions & keep it with her will.

My late MIL did this when she left her only son a small token from a large estate.

This. She needs to leave a letter of wishes, stored with her Will that explains her reasoning

Just worth pointing out, you say she has left a specific amount to your DB? If her financial situation changes dramatically, you might find your DB gets more than you and your DC.

This. My mum said she was going to leave me everything as my sister went extremely low contact. Thank god she didn't as I don't want to loose my sister. My mum was really mentally and physically abusive. We both should be taken into care

He doesn’t have no contact with her so he when the time comes he should think himself lucky he receives anything. What sort of an entitled person ‘jokes’ about receiving half of someone’s estate when they cut contact. Before I’d heard about the update of will I would have had to of questioned him as to why he thinks he’d get anything given the circumstances. You have a relationship with your mum and doesn’t sound like much of a relationship with your brother so why would you break her confidence to tell him something? What reason would you have for telling him? Whilst I think your mum shouldn’t of told you and expecting you not to say anything is unfair, it’s not your information to pass on

Your brother shouldn't be making assumptions about inheritance. I can understand why your mother has made the decision she has, but it's going to cause her son pain, so 50/50 might have been better all round. However, it's her choice to make.

Say nothing and pretend the conversation had never happened. He chose to go no contact so he shouldn’t be surprised of the consequences.

Parents of adult kids do not owe their kids anything in adulthood let alone equal shares in their will.

Whereas I think parents of adult dc who hurt their young children shouldn’t carry it into adulthood. The OP said herself the mother was a poor parent, the brother going no contact is a consequence of that.

Say and do nothing. You say your mum is fairly fit and obviously neither you or your brother are expected to die of old age anytime soon; a lot could change between now and when the contents of the will become relevant.

Your mum could need care in her later years which might leave nothing to divide. Why cause upset now when none of you know what the future holds.

If your brother is no contact then the only relationship this information will damage is the one between you and him.

I think it's unfair of your mum to tell you and ask you to keep it a secret.