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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think is over generous gift of money for a wedding present?

162 replies

PrueHal · 07/08/2024 23:14

I've noticed since day one my partner is very generous with money. From early on he bought me expensive jewellery to my embarrassment, bought gifts for friends and family and used the phrase 'it's just money'. He earns 15k more than me and doing well though not loaded.

He's at a family wedding by himself (I have very good reasons for being unable to go) and as he didn't have time to pick from their gift list he tells me is giving them money - £1000!

AIBU to find this insane? And to think the bride and groom really won't expect it? I find myself thinking about the future and how I'd really not ever want to spend that on a wedding gift if we were, say, married. He is so generous but it's too much sometimes.

OP posts:
Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 07/08/2024 23:28

Jeez am going to a wedding next week and was going to stick £50 in a card.
£1000 is way too much imho

TeenLifeMum · 07/08/2024 23:27

Justtryingtofitin · 07/08/2024 23:21

Ok sorry but that’s a bit cheap. We got married recently and got at least £200 per couple. We usually give £250 and £500 if it’s family

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That’s you. In my circle, £100 is perfectly acceptable. We are comfortable but have bills and 3dc so £500 as a gift when I’ve bought and outfit, travelled and paid for hotel accommodation would be horribly grabby and seen as excessive for a cousin. I’m not saying my family is right but don’t accuse people of being cheap just because you have different ways.

theleafandnotthetree · 07/08/2024 23:27

Thesecretingredientiscrime · 07/08/2024 23:25

£100 for a couple really isn't cheap for a massive amount of people.

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I would consider anything less than 100 per person kinda cheap, only because the meal alone in most hotels is 80 euro at least.

Thesecretingredientiscrime · 07/08/2024 23:25

Justtryingtofitin · 07/08/2024 23:21

Ok sorry but that’s a bit cheap. We got married recently and got at least £200 per couple. We usually give £250 and £500 if it’s family

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£100 for a couple really isn't cheap for a massive amount of people.

theleafandnotthetree · 07/08/2024 23:24

For a cousin that is wildly generous - even by Irish standards and we typically give very generous gifts. I would say for a single person going to a cousins wedding that 100/150 would be fine, 200 would be very decent, any more than that generous to very generous I think you are right to have doubts on foot of this kind of extravagance, some of the people I know like this were all fur coat and no knickers, wanted to give the outward appearance of generosity and wealth but with nothing to back it up.

ElizabethCage · 07/08/2024 23:24

PrueHal · 07/08/2024 23:20

I'm glad it's not just me @Flossyts

We are all late 20s/early 30s. I'd feel weird if a cousin gifted me that.

So to clarify, it's a cousin.

If he's close to his cousin then why not? I wouldn't give my brother 20p but I'd give my cousin I never see a grand if she needed it no questions asked so it kind of depends on their relationship.
Also you say partner - if you live together and share money then talk to him but if you don't live together it's not really anything to do with you

Original poster
PrueHal · 07/08/2024 23:22

I feel like £500 would still be incredibly generous but at least a bit more reasonable

OP posts:
Justtryingtofitin · 07/08/2024 23:21

Flossyts · 07/08/2024 23:17

Seems insane to me. We usually gift £100 as a couple for a friends wedding.

Ok sorry but that’s a bit cheap. We got married recently and got at least £200 per couple. We usually give £250 and £500 if it’s family

DaisyFloop · 07/08/2024 23:20

It's subjective isn't it, he obviously can afford it without struggling and spending money on people looks like how he expresses his love. Just talk to him and say that it's a lot for a gift and could literally finance a wedding or honeymoon and maybe bride and groom might be a bit overwhelmed so what about £150 instead etc

Original poster
PrueHal · 07/08/2024 23:20

I'm glad it's not just me @Flossyts

We are all late 20s/early 30s. I'd feel weird if a cousin gifted me that.

So to clarify, it's a cousin.

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 07/08/2024 23:19

If it’s a sibling and he can afford it, it’s very generous but not “insane”, IMO.

Flossyts · 07/08/2024 23:17

Seems insane to me. We usually gift £100 as a couple for a friends wedding.

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