To think is over generous gift of money for a wedding present?

Generosity is far more attractive than stinginess, however foolishness and thoughtlessness is also unattractive.

I say thoughtlessness because has your dp actually stopped and thought about how a) awkward this could be especially when it come to reciprocation, and b) how show-offy and crass this could look?

The only time I could EVER feel comfortable giving or receiving this gift would be if there were multi million pound bank accounts involved and an openly comfortable, mutual agreement of non-obligatory return from the recipient.

If his cousin is in the US (I think you mentioned that) then he should look at wedding gift-giving norms there really. What's considered generous vs embarrassingly extravagant does vary between countries and different social groups too.

It's a lot but he's not in debt, earns well and has savings. I'd much rather be with someone who was generous than was tight.

I would be very wary about this. It indicates that appearing well paid and affluent in front of his family is important to him. Fine to a degree, but we're sort of in that scenario with DH and his Dsis and family and circumstances have changed, but it's so hard for everyone to get out of that mentality that DH and ergo we are loaded and they are not.

£1000 seems a ridiculous amount unless it's non standard British culture. I would say £200 is generous and £500 very generous but not ridiculously so.

Interesting about the Irish. I'm half Irish and all my uncles/aunts on that side gave between £300-£400 to us and that was ten years ago. Most English family gave around £150.
£1000; is an insane amount for anyone.
I would worry they'll find it embarrassing, I know I felt awkward getting the amount I did.
It's his money so up to him I suppose. If you do get serious I'd consider keeping your finances separate so you don't have to contribute £500 towards the next wedding present.

It’s very generous but I wouldn’t say it’s insane. If he can afford it and that is what he wants to give then that’s fine.

I couldn’t afford that. I think the last 2 family weddings we went to we gave £300 which was what we could afford on top of travel, accommodation etc.

I've just realised that I'm viewing this through the jaded eyes of one who has recently had to trawl through obscure parental bank accounts to work out what counts as a 'close family gift' vs 'small gift' vs 'normal expenditure from income'!

Tell him not to die shortly after the gift. It'll make things simpler.

If you do progress in your relationship you'd no doubt have serious discussions about money, even if he wants to carry on giving family members a fair amount on their weddings there's ways to arrange it so you get equal amounts of money to spend as you please- doesn't need to be a deal breaker necessarily. Currently though unless you're mentally spending his money already then how does it affect you?

I think it's nice to be honest, assuming he isn't getting into debt over it i suspect it's just a way to financially support a family member that isn't as weird as just giving a cheque randomly. If you dislike it though then your choice to end the relationship over him giving money he can seemingly afford to a close family member.

OP, past behaviour is a huge predictor of future behaviour.

He is a Billy Big Bollixs......someone who likes to show off, flash money, be the big man.

Indicates huge issues and insecurities, lack of self esteem.

Not a man you ever want to be sharing finances with, much less your life.

£100 is not cheap! Every wedding we go do we gift £100 and I know many others who also gift this amount.

£1000 is a lot! The most we got was £500 from an uncle and aunt and that was very very generous. I’m Asian and £200-£400 was standard for family presents. But I would echo other posters and say this is none of your business tbh

If he would like to give that amount- why not offer to pay for a part of the wedding- they might appreciate that?

Exactly, it's a gift, not a ticket price.

Where are you from? 10 weddings a year in your 20’s - who can cough up £500 a time?!
(plus the £200 hotel, outfits etc).
Our wedding 13 years ago 150 guests, about £3k total gifts. (Averages £20 a person)

It's too much. £100 would be fine. I give £50 to close friends.

How much does he earn and is his cousin less well off?

We gave a large gift (would typically give £100) to a family member to whom we are really close as a family and who had really struggled for a very long time to afford their (not at all extravagant).

There may be a backstory.

I also thought £50 was a normal amount. As a family none of us are extravagant gift givers, though we spend more on experience type gifts.

A recent wedding we went to cost us about £600 with outfits, hotels and travels. The wedding was lovely, I feel the gift is rather beside the point. I could have given more if we hadn't attended, but I feel that celebrating together is more important. I much preferred it when we were allowed to actually give people a present rather than money.

If someone gave me £1000, I would think it was overly flashy and a bit tacky/ show off tbh. I know my friend in Australia was gifted designer handbags and a laptop though so so I think it depends on country/ area

Are you Irish? Just wondering, because I’ve been told that in Ireland you’re expected to cover the cost of your ‘plate’.

I don’t think the same applies in much of the U.K. You give what seems reasonable and what you can afford.

We’re in Ireland and people tend to be very generous here