To think is over generous gift of money for a wedding present?

We (and the vast majority of our friends/"circle") are in the top 1%-3% income bracket and we would all do £100. Never expected and always hugely appreciated. Likewise when we got married. Agree - it is not "cheap" at all!

Maybe if you read the comment correctly… that’s the amount I spend on CLOSE family ie husband or mother. NOT a friend.

@Justtryingtofitin that's not cheap how rude ! People give what they can afford. I certainly didn't expect anything for my wedding I was just glad of peoples company. One person gave us a tenner in a card, we was still grateful, some gave more some gave nothing, I didn't expect over a certain amount

My exceptionally wealthy cousin gave me £250 at my wedding and I thought that was too much! Especially as I'd said no gifts lol. He wouldn't take it back though, so thanks Chris, your gift bought me some lovely cookware that I still use 11 years later.

My brother is getting married next week, I've just put £50 in their card. That's what we can afford right now on top of the two days off work (self employed), £250 for the overnight hotel, fuel to get there, meal out the evening we get there, £100-150 each on outfits (2 adults, 1 DC). I was leaning more towards 100 but an unexpected car repair and vet bills this month put the dampeners on that idea.

Thankfully my brother and his partner will appreciate that because they aren't grabby and aren't expecting anything.

We got married about 10 years ago, specified no gifts but still ended up receiving a lot of cash gifts. We were blown away by a £200 gift from a friend, that felt like a lot. We also had several £10-20 gifts (we got married as students so lots of friends invited in a similar financial position!) and every single one was as gratefully received as any other amount. We made a point of writing thank you cards and detailing what the money was used for as part of our honeymoon something significant to that person - e.g. someone who gave us £10 was an avid reader, so we used that money towards a book each to read on the plane.

It's all relative but 1000 is way too much.

When did all this start? That your gift had to match the value of the food at the wedding?

If you invite someone to a party, you pay for it. If they want to buy you a gift, that’s something entirely different.

Seriously?!

£100 is incredibly generous, I don’t know what circles you move in but they’re clearly very different to ours.

But it often costs the B&G more to host you than £50/head!

Wedding i was at recently the meal & drinks were £70/person.

I usually try to ensure the couple aren't out of pocket. For recent wedding I gave £250. This is the first one I've been too in years as I'm old and the second weddings are only just beginning....

That's absolutely ridiculous! Unless it's an (adult) child, no-one should be giving £1000 as a wedding gift! I thought you were going to say £200 or something, (which would also have been a lot for someone who is not immediate family.)

Some 15-16 years ago, a couple moved in next door to us - and they were getting married just 4 weeks after moving in. We spoke to them maybe 3 or 4 times before their wedding weekend, and they seemed nice.

DH wanted to give them £100 as a wedding gift 'to be nice' and to 'welcome them into the neighbourhood.' I instantly vetoed it. We weren't even invited to the wedding! (Obviously! As we had only known them for a few weeks, and were just neighbours!)

We just sent a card in the end. They would have (rightly) thought we were batshit if we had given them £100!

Absolutely this, £100 is generous for most people. £1k is insane unless you are extremely wealthy.

1000 is very generous but it might be the norm in his family. I don't think as adults earning I've ever done less than £250. We do £500 for family and close friends. Financial compatibility is important and you need to talk about it especially if you want kids. Mind you if the genders here were reversed people would say the OP was likely to be financially controlling.

We’re going to 2 weddings within the next week. Both involve an overnight stay as they are away from home, however, both couples live locally so it’s not like they are having the weddings in their home towns.

I was going to put £50 in each of the cards and am now feeling a bit tight 😬

I understand the covering your plate a little but you don’t always get to choose what you’re eating, at one of the weddings I’m not even sure if there is going to be food as nothing has been mentioned.

He sounds a bit flash

I think £500 for a cousin you like is reasonable £1k seems a bit OTT.

If I went to a 40th, I might bob £20 in a card. I think we live in different worlds.

actually edited, I’ve just remembered I bought my friend a £50 spa voucher. But still.

This is a very good point. Does he realise his generosity might make ppl feel negatively?

To be fair my Mother in law gave us nothing; not even a card. Her rationale was my parents gave £10k so she didn’t have to give anything.

I think it depends what relative it is, however I’m assuming from the post it’s not a particularly close one?

Brothers/sisters/parents etc we spend £1000 on a wedding or a big birthday ie 40th but otherwise it’s usually £100 and a small gift to unwrap. Best friends it would be more. But I would give 1K to a cousin etc

We gave £250 recently, not family but someone we are close to. I'm feeling like it was miserly now.

If you two are planning any events in the future (wedding, baby shower) it places a horrible self expectation on the cousin - do they have to cough up a grand?

Agree with this.
I'd be embarrassed and a bit upset to get £1000 as a gift from one of my cousins. It's too much.

If wedding's in the US, how about $500 (£390) tops? This is still extremely generous but less likely to cause upset imho.

I'm cheap too. I have given £100 to friends. I just think that's plenty when you consider the number of guests and I don't see why you have to cover the cost of you attending as some people say as you're a guest and it's up to a host what they spend on a party, it shouldn't be based on what they might get back from.you. I don't think it's cheap when you add on the cost of attending most weddings in terms of travel, accommodation, drinks etc and also hen etc if you were also part of that. I'd probably give more if weddings we like they used to be - local church/registry and modest party locally with a night out for the hen.

The wedding itself was beautiful and very expensive - groom’s parents are millionaires and bride’s family well off too (met at private school) so I’m sure we didn’t “cover our plates” but they’d never expect it as they have class. Bride and groom made a gift list that included multiple items for around £20 and then a good selection of prices up from that.