Childcare - is she being a CF?

Hardship? She’s had free childcare for 10 years and was expecting someone who is trying to work to continue to provide her with free childcare.

Not to mention also picking her up and dropping her off afterwards.

If they are stuck then one of them has to stay home. Which is exactly what happened.

Erm…you do realise that if they are brothers and have children…both set of children are having the same grandmother from their side right?
that is not granny from mom’s side but still granny though!

Hi op,

If your child isn't present then I would say no. For the reason that you stated…she CAN stay home with her child 🤷🏼‍♀️ and she doesn’t get to throw her DD to anyone…

I would contact the day before just to check that niece isn’t just left alone if she needs more or with a complete stranger…

if you say yes, that will be a precedent and you are in for a loooong ride.

Good luck!🌺

As a one off I wouldn’t mind. You may need the favour returned one day

SiL is not DH's sister. She is OP's brother's partner.

Seems OP looks after her niece regularly at weekends.

It's not their grandmother. DH was taking his child to see his mother. The niece is his wife's brother's child, therefore no relation to the granny.

I WFH and have a 10, 11, and 16yr old. I put myself on mute if one of them enters the room, or if there's any noise and firmly explain that they need to be quiet for a certain period of time and move to a different part of the house, or go out to play.

If they were toddlers, it would be a different story. A 10 year old can entertain themselves. Good for SIL, for not paying someone else's easy lifestyle. UC pays a large chunk, but a lot of people do not know this. Perhaps she cannot afford it? I used to get really peed off paying a portion of my wages to a CM, only to see said CM living the high-life at posh spa's, cocktail bars, days out with her own kids while I slogged my guts out at work. I quickly nipped that in the bud. I had nothing to show for my wages and my kids were also going without. I hired a babysitter whom I knew personally and was happy for the work experience and extra income.

(My CM fees were extortionate! £700 to 1K a month - With help!).

Help your SIL. Every Mother needs a helping hand and we as women should support one another when in hardship, without ripping one another off. Your husband is being unfair. It's his sister! Shame on him.

You're weird to think that everyone gets along with their families.

A lot of people don't.

My last boyfriend never speaks to his brother, ever.

My mother has six siblings. She speaks to three. She never speaks to the other three as they don't get on.

A lot of people don't even speak to their siblings, let alone mind their children for them

OP is working. She has her own responsibilities.

Because op is working

be different if day off /weekend

Amazingly the brother aka dad. He can now have his daughter

y’all are so weird and habe no sense of family responsibility. Your niece is 10. Your SIL has never asked you to help in 10 years and this one time, you’re on mumsnet seeking strangers opinions on helping out a family member in need. You need a good introspection on why you even hesitated. A 10 year old can entertain themselves, feed themselves and generally not be any nuisance. Grow up and read up on family values and relationships.

"Sorry SIL but no we can't. We pay for childcare so that we don't have children at home and can do what we need to do, such as work. I would suggest you source a paid childminder for a couple of days or see if there is any sort of holiday club that your child can go to"

Why doesn’t your DH take his niece along to see their grandmother with your DC? If you’re working on Friday and your child is in childcare you can’t look after your niece. You’ll feel really responsible for her and it’ll make working tough.

Why is DH’s day off less important than OP’s time?

Let me guess, the brother doesn’t drive because he’s been banned…?

I think it’s out of order to expect DH to look after DN on his day off or change his plans. Just say no, DH has made other plans for Thurs and will not be available.

She’ll have to get compassionate leave/take a day off/work from home. Like other parents do.

OP you sound really kind and loving towards your niece. But like someone said, when you help you’re allowing them to continue being shit parents. But then you don’t help and the child suffers.

Do you know her school? Is she local? Can you get advice from a children’s centre maybe? The whole situation is not sustainable. Are you close enough that in the future she can walk to your house? She’s firmly in the section of ‘it’s all shit, but not shit enough for anyone to do anything’.

Tell the fucker ‘no way’.

Tell the fucker ‘no way’.

Apologies-I missed that.

Ignore my post, just saw your update

Why isn't your brother making these requests of his family rather than leaving admin to SIL?

Poor woman probs run ragged working and sorting childcare while he doesn't worry himself?

Are they still expecting you to cover for tomorrow though?

Based on the amount you do for them at the weekends, you are aware that your child doesn't get 100% of your attention when you're not at work as their weekends are shared with their cousin that you're looking after? When do they get a weekend without their cousin being involved???

I'd be sorely tempted (though I wouldn't do it) in suggesting to Brother that if he doesn't get his head out of his arse and start stepping up and being a parent to his daughter, he's going to miss out on her growing up (probably missed so much already) and that SiL is getting burnt out so before long don't be surprised of Social Services stick their noses in to make sure all is right.

Terrible role models that your niece has in her house - you're at least a bit of relief for her.